Having a 2nd child..............?

Question

My partner and I are currently trying for our 2nd child. We have a little girl who is 4 in May. We both work and I am in a managerial position at work in which I have worked hard to be in.

We currently have a good support network and both get to go out together and also with friends at least once a week, we also have a good supply of money and live comfortably. We are also currently in the process of buying our property.

I am worried that life will be thrown up in the air if I was to have another baby - Money worries, living, socialising and also my work.
I have had advice that you can balance fmaily life and career but am still worried about everything. I wish to still work but cut down on hours.

Any other parents out there that are in this situation, some advice needed please.

Please do not reply with unfunny, stupid answers!

Answer 1

Me and my partner live together with my 3 year old and then last year we found that i was pregnant. Before i had my second child i was working 4 days a week we were going out 1/2 times a week and had a good balance of money and social life etc.. Now that we have our second baby a lot has changed. We hardly go out and we've argued more but this is because we are both so tired. It'll get easier as our baby gets a little older, he's only 7 weeks at the mo but i wish things could be the same as it was before with the little one. However i haven't regretted having another child and me and my partner are happy to sacrifice a few nights out for each others company, good conversation and the love of our little boy.

Answer 2

Ok so good planning can alleviate most of those problems. If you are not yet pregnant then you have some time to work with. Try to put away an amount equal to your paycheck ( minus taxes minus child care) for each month you will be off work. Then you still have your pay (ask bank to transfer the money each month to your debit card). One more child is more money but with a good support system. Considering part time is a good option because child care will be more. Your 4 year old will be in school soon and will be gone at least the morning and maybe will go all day? So during that time you have only one to pay for. Sit on down with your partner and really figure out how much it costs per month and then you know how much you need to make. Depending on your profession you could maybe free lance? Or do some of your work from home? or position sharing is available at some firms(2 people each work the same job for 20 hours each week). There are lots of options check them out and figure out what it really costs!

Answer 3

No matter what a new baby will always throw things up in the air, for a few weeks at least. I'm due to go on maternity leave soon... I do intend on taking my full leave, however I also know that my contract is due to expire this december so I wont be going back.
I have 3 other children and I do worry about money and everything... I think its just a natural thing. I do intend to work again when the baby gets a bit older, about 1-2 years old.

You have a good thing set up with your life and a baby does change things. If you have the support and some one will be able to look after the baby while you have a night out or go to work again then you'll be fine. You can discus ideas with your boss, just ask them if you would be able to go part time after maternity should it happen. they should be able to tell you if the job roll will allow for job share or part time hours in the future.

Good luck! I think you should have another baby as you clearly want to, dont worry too much about if, buts and maybes, they can be sorted later.

Answer 4

Children can be a great finacial strain, but they are worth it. Yes you will have to work less or find a sitter. Can you work at home? I know a lot of managers who take their work home with them so they can spend more time with their family. It is great you have a great support network, use it! If you need a friend to look after the kids or do something for you, don't be afraid to ask. If money is not a problem I wouldn't worry too much, what happens, happens. I am sure you won't regret having a second child and you will be very happy after the second child. The best of luck to you.

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Answer 5

It's a toughy isn't it? Your life is lovely at the moment and you're worried that it will be thrown into turmoil by a new arrival - well, of course it will - but you have to decide whether you're willing to sacrifice your comfort zone for the sake of a second child, or carry on with only one. If you decide to go ahead and have another baby you will cope - you did it with your first one, and she's now of an age where she can be invovled with the new one, and help you to a certain extent. You'll have to think carefully about your career and whether you're prepared to consider part time or flexible working (plus the loss of income you'll incur) and the dramatic effect on your social life. But, you seem to be a happy, well adjusted, intelligent person, with a good social support network, so it's up to you to decide what's more important to you! Hope you make the choice which makes you happiest.

Answer 6

You seem a sensible person, in a happy relationship and financially stable so why worry ? Children have been brought up on much less.

Everyone worries about how they will cope with another child, less money, less time and all that, but you do cope. The positives of having another child far exceeds the negatives, when you are in a good position like you are.

Of course your social life will be affected, when your new little one is born things will be a bit up in the air for a while, but that's to be expected. It's not forever is it ?

Go for it - and enjoy being a mum of 2!!!

Answer 7

You need to decide what is most important to you, socialising, money and a comfortable life or another child. Your support network might not want to bring up a second child while you go out to work so this needs to be gone into. The pleasure you will undoubtedly get from your children will outweigh any sacrifices you will need to make surely? Please don't miss out on those important early years just so you can have material things, you'll never get the chance to enjoy them again but you can always go to work and have expensive holidays later as the children get older.

Answer 8

If you are having all these second thoughts, maybe you shouldn't be trying. I understand how it feels to work hard for a promotion on a job, but none of that compares to my children. If you have the support and the money. I don't underrstand what the problem is. If you want it to work it will, God won't give you more that you can handle, I don't know if you're relegious, but its what I live by.

Answer 9

I had my first baby when I was 37 and my second when I was 39. I know that is old for a mom but I found having a second child was not as bad as some people told me. They say that after 35 a woman's change of having a down's baby become greater but my daughter is healthy, thank God. I think you can do it. I'm glad I had my second baby. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

i was in a manager of a photographers and just left work to have my 3rd baby my middle son is disabled so i made the decision to only go back to work part time and then two weeks before my return my boss calls and says that i cannot return full time as a manager but do you know what i really don't vare anymore but i think you will be ok. you sound as though you have a really stable life and a really happy home for children. i wouldn't let work hold you back. but you just need to weigh up what means more i cried when my boss told me that but now i think do you know what there are more mportant things in life than work

good luck to you x x x