My ex boyfriend who’s still a very close friend is getting married, we are still very good and close friends and I really want to get him something nice. A designer dress-watch or something like that, is it ok to get him a wedding gift? Would it be rude if I only got a gift for him? (I don’t personally know the person he is marrying).
2007-02-15 22:13:13 · 14 answers · asked by Lora7777 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
His wife doesn’t know me, and she doesn’t know I am his ex., wouldn’t it be weird if she received a gift from a total stranger? I know he would also feel weird if I got a gift for her.. I don’t know!
2007-02-15 22:37:52 · update #1
“Lefty” she’s in a whole different country, we’ve never met, and there is no reason for him to go “ ohh..by the way hun.. I know this old friend that used to be my Ex”
friends doesn’t mean we hang out.. we are old friends that always keep in touch.. and check on each other, he’s there for me when I need him and I am here for him. We ALWAYS exchange gifts. And BTW.. am way over him and I am with someone, I just love buying stuff for that guy (lucky bastard) :)
“Lefty… you seem to have issues darlin… I asked a simple question.. just answer it..don’t go “why he did this… and why I didn’t do that” ..
2007-02-16 02:18:29 · update #2
I think it would be inappropriate to buy a gift just for him. The new wife may not know that you are his ex-girlfriend but it still may make her feel uncomfortable. If she ever did find out that you are his ex that could create some tension in their marriage. It could also damage your friendship. If the new wife does not like you then it could make it difficult for you to continue your friendship, you do not want to put your friend in an akward position. Think how you would feel if you were her. If it were me and some woman I did not know bought my new husband an expensive gift, just for him, I would assume that she liked him more than she should. I think that the rule of thumb with wedding gifts is to buy something for both of them. Are they registered? If so I would suggest sticking to the registry. That is safe and I am sure that there will be some nice things that you can choose from. Are you going to the wedding? If so that makes it a little easier, you can give cash or a gift certificate. If he golfs you could get him a gift certificate to his favorite place, this way it is for him but he could bring her. It is less obvious that you are giving him the gift. Gift certificate to his favorite resturant or tickets to one of his favorite team sporting events are also good gifs for men that could be used for them both. If you gave him something like that and he decided to take one of his buddies that is not your fault. If you were not invited to the wedding that is a different thing completely. Then I would suggest maybe having something delivered to the house. Maybe a case of wine, a large fruit basket, Omaha steaks or again ordering from the registry and mailing it. This is your chance to make a very good first impression on the new wife. And I will say it again if she decides that she does not like you then your friendship is going to suffer. My best friends ex-wife hated me and it almost ruined the decades long friendship. We went months without speaking when he was married because of it, that was difficult because he is the god father to my children. Good luck and happy shopping.
2007-02-15 22:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by chanajane3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 19:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/yJuWL
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-18 17:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him a nice gift, designer watch may be a bit too much, but you know the level of your friendship and what he likes (I don't) His new wife may feel slighted if you give him a pretty nice gift, and nothing for her. It may make her feel insignificant in your eyes, and therefore not respected as your friends wife. At that point you just become his ex-girlfriend to her, not his friend. If you want to keep your friendship with him in any way, you have be respectful of her.
That being said. Yes, if you two are still friends, by all means, get him a gift. But you also need to get her something, even if you just give her something off of their registry.
2007-02-15 22:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by picture . . . perfect 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you have a child with your ex and your fiance is ok with it, I think it's perfectly fine to invite him. I personally find a bit weird that you would invite his family as well, but since you say you're all close, why not, it's up to you. You're right not to put up with your mother trying to control who you invite. I guess she's just bluffing anyway about not coming to your wedding. Just let her brood on her own and don't mind her. Don't discuss your wedding plans with her either if all she has to say is "don't do this or I won't be there/ will take my money back". PS: I also agree with those who have said you kicked ***. It was brilliant what you did with the cheque and we all admire your "brass ones" as someone put it. Good for you!
2016-03-28 22:24:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would be terribly rude to get a gift just for him. Get something for the two of them. It doesn't matter that you don't know her. This would apply to any wedding, whether it was an ex boyfriend/girlfriend or not!
Edit--Are you invited to the wedding? If not, why even consider giving any gift? But for any wedding, you always give a gift to be used by both of them. Never for just one, and never a gift for her and one for him!
2007-02-15 22:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/6Rtoy
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-23 06:15:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wedding gift is just that--a WEDDING gift--not a gift for just the groom or just the bride; but for the two of them in celebration of their marriage/union. Would you give a gift to only one half of a couple for their anniversary? The time to give only your friend a gift would be his birthday--not his wedding.
Also, if I were you, I would ask myself (as well as your "friend"), if you and he are such close, good friends; why doesn't his fiance at least know of you?! Given that in all the time they have been together, your friend hasn't had to courage or whatever to tell his bride-to-be about your close friendship; I would guess that he didn't invite you to the wedding either. Perhaps you aren't as "close" to him as he is to you.
As others have advised, be smart... if you are going to send a gift, send it to both of them, and move on.
2007-02-16 01:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by lefty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no considering that hes your ex then i think that it may make her feel strange. I would see where they registered for gifts and get them something as a couple. I would get to know her and make sure she knows that theres nothing to worry about. unless you still love him. my best friends wedding the sequal. in that case stay away from the wedding.
2007-02-15 22:56:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How close can you be with your ex if he hasn't even told his fiancee about you? Skip the gift and move on.
2007-02-16 00:17:58 · answer #10 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋