If you are married to a Policeofficer, how do you cope with the stress......of his, her job......?

Question

Give details.....

Answer 1

My dad is a retired police officer, I worked in law enforcement for over 26 years and my husband is a retired police officer. You learn to cope because you have to. Their jobs are horribly stressful. They see and do things that most normal people could not handle; child abuse, rape, murder, car crashes, assaults, etc. Most cops don't want to bring their jobs home and keep the bad stuff bottled up inside. Help them to decompress, go and do things together on your days off. Try to keep home life as calm and peaceful as possible. Don't walk around on egg shells and don't let the spouse become a lazy bum, but don't harp and crab at him/her either. Try to do things together as a family to keep the person grounded and help take their minds off things. Do things together, just the two of you, to keep your marriage solid. If the person wants to talk about things, let them. Listen and don't be judgemental. They probably don't want your opnion, they just need someone to talk to. Understand when they are upset and quiet, maybe they just had to deliver a death message to a family about their loved one dying in an accident. Also, cops have a bad name because of a few bad apples. Because of those few idiots, cops have gotten a bad name and are much hated and maligned. Its too bad. Cops do things that most people would not want to nor would ever think of doing and yet they are called names, spit on, cursed at and generally disrespected. Just be their for your spouse. I've had mine around 30 years, hes a good man and has seen some pretty awful things. Me being in law enforcement did help, because we both could talk the talk.

Answer 2

The stress of being a police officer, fireman or woman, correctional officer, rescue worker, is about the same as a soldier in combat. Also, many, if not most, have been in the military and/or seen combat as well. The best you can do is try and understand as best you can, but also listen to what they are confiding to you and not judge. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone close is enough. If that is too much for you to bear alone, I suggest professional counseling together is helpful and healthy. Marriage is a partnership that requires work and effort. It is more difficult in military and law enforcement families. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!

Answer 3

It is just a job, their job. No different than any other job, only more dangerous. You cope because you love that person, and make their time at home peaceful. Stress is not caused from their job, it is caused by dwelling on it so much.

Answer 4

The first thing I do is pray....a lot...he works drug intervention on the interstate, it can get hairy at times.
When he walks out the door to go to work I always say "I love you" and "Be safe".
I do not listen to the police scanner, we live in a small town, so the only (police) radio traffic is what the officers and deputies are doing. If I have a radio around me and I hear a dispatcher call for him 2 or 3 times, i get nervous and it is usually just because he is out of his vehicle dealing with the driver and can't respond right away. SO I JUST LEAVE IT OFF

But the biggest thing is to just pray, leave it in God's hands. We hear stories on the news about this officer or that officer falling to the hands of a bad guy, but it's not something these guys see on a daily basis. Most of it is pretty routine. Talk to him about your concerns, and let him know what worries you.

We had an incident last year that started with me taking a fresh shirt to him at the hospital. We had been having a lot of fires and he went to get debris washed from his eyes. I get there he hands me his wet shirt (from the eye wash) and his vest (which is in pieces where he pulled it out of it's wet cover). As he's putting his clean shirt on (without a vest) he gets a call from his supervisor, they are now looking for 2 escaped inmates (from another county) who have raped a girl, abandoned her in the trunk (she was still alive) of her car they had stolen, and then held a farmer and his family up at gunpoint to steal another car. He left the hospital with nothing but his pistol and his cell phone. I had his bullet proof vest (still in pieces, not wearable) in my hands along with his police radio. As he walked away, the hall seemed like it went on for an eternity. I was helpless and afraid. Then I said a prayer. I went out to my car, and I called my mom and my 2 closest friends and asked them to pray. And I turned off his radio so I didn't make myself sick listening to what was going on and worrying. He helped catch the bad guys, and made it home safe, without a scratch about 6 or so hours later. So like I said, just pray for him. He's got a tough job, and it is good that he has someone who worries about him.

Another thing, if he has to deal with something particularly gory, such as an accident or shooting, expect him to be quiet, and not talk about that much. We live in a small county so we don't have readily available counseling for those kinds of things. Mine deals with that by talking it out with a paramedic friend or someone who can relate to it, because I just can't. I can't relate to the stress of the things that he sees.

Answer 5

all after his/her retirement

Answer 6

try coffee and donuts.