I guess I am old school.......because I still believe in spanking....?

Question

I was reading an article about how undisciplined our kids are and a couple of pages later where a police arrested a family for spanking their child. Are we to go through these " time outs, talkings and other psychological assessments" and let our kids grow up with the notion that if the adults "get out of line, call 911", or do we risk that and discipline our kids accordingly without the fear of " society" coming down on us for alleged abuse! I am so sick of society calling the parents to chastise their children and then switch out on them when they do. I believe either we do it or we wait until prison officials do it. At that time it is to late and our kids will be "beaten" by people who don't really care!

Answer 1

I agree. There is a fine line between a spank and abuse, but since we have had a very effect parenting tool taken from us, our children have become terrible.

Not mine, I never submitted to this spank is abuse crap. There is a difference between beating a child for your pleasure and spanking a child rear because he/she misbehaved. And people need to learn that if the time outs don't work then they are doing their children a great disservice. They will never grow up to respect authority, they will never grow up to respect themselves.

I was hit as a child when I was bad, granted there were times when I didn't deserve it, but the times I did I am glad that I got the punishment I got. It helped me grow into the adult I am today. But being spanked and watching my sister get spanked doesn't make me want to use that method as the first method of dealing with a problem. So that theory has been disproved, not just by me but by many other adults who grew up just fine after being spanked.

I hope these these other parent's enjoy supporting their kids into their 30's and beyond. Because that's where they are headed.

Answer 2

I firmly beleive that each parent needs to discipline their child in the way that the child best responds to. For some, like my little brother, no ammount of spankings would work. For me, just the threat of a swat was enough to keep me in line. I have developed my own form of discipline for my daughter (who is almost 2), and she responds well to it. If she is deliberatly disobeying me, or doing something that could cause herself or someone/something else harm: she gets a warning, and I attempt to show her something different she could be doing. If that doesnt work, she gets a look right in the eyes, a swat on the hand or bottom, followed by a hug and an explanation of WHY she got in trouble, and what she could do differently next time. This works extremely well for her, and I rarely have to use it, as she normally responds to firm and non-angy verbal warnings. I NEVER swat her when I am angry. I do NOT support just whooping a childs butt on a regular basis, and think there are other ways to get the point across. But to a very young child, sometimes just a swat is what it takes to get their attention and drive your point home. A child past about the age of 5 or 6 should have other forms of discipline, as they can better understand warnings and reasoning. I understand how some people react negatively to spanking. You often see frazzled parents just whooping the daylights out of their kids for even the smallest thing. Personally, I dont hold being spanked against my parents, and fully acknowlege that it was often the only way to get thru to me. Everyone who meets our daughter comments on how she is the most well-adjusted and LOVING child they have ever met. We must be doing something right. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Discipline should be done lovingly, not violently, and parents with a tendency to lose their temper should NOT spank. Being consistent makes a big difference. Holding your child to the same rules at all times is important. If you let something slide once, you cant blame the child for expecting to get away with it again.

Answer 3

You're not alone. I know that all of my family (including grandparents and aunts and uncles) believe that if a child is acting badly, don't wait a moment to smack him or her on the bottom. Kids need discipline. Thankfully, my mother has disciplined me, my brother, and my sister. We're growing up to be respectful young ladies and gentleman. However, the kids next door could use a swat every now and then...

Answer 4

For me, spanking should only be for discipline. It crosses the line when it is used for more. It then turn into fear and abuse because you as the parent are mad. It then later brings fear and rejection of a parent and usaully brings a pattern of abuse that sometimes is passed on to the next generation. Break the cycle and discipline, don't abuse.

Answer 5

I am a teenager. My parents spanked me. I turned out fine. I have a 3.92 GPA and am taking all honors classes. Spanking is not bad, it is not a crime. If it was, all people older than 40 would probably be arrested. It gets some sense into the kid. If anyone does get arrested for spanking their kids, the case will be throen out.

Answer 6

My parents didn't BEAT me - we would get yelled at and given a smack here and there across the butt - but when my mother gave you that look - we knew to stop right then and there or else we would be in trouble. By trouble I mean she would tell my father and he would be angry at us and we would get punished (sent to our room - no TV, no video games)
I think we had a little more pride then the kids today. We cared how we made others feel.
A lot of us think our parents were sooo bad for disciplining us the way they knew how - How come they didn't need these Nanny shows we have on TV?

Good Luck and give your kids lots of love and teach them to care - all their actions have a re-action.

Answer 7

I have three small children. While I'm not quick to spank them, sometimes it's the only thing that gets their attention. It's only a quick swat, but that's enough for to get their attention. Most of the time they cry, which gives me the time to calm them down and then talk about the behavior they need to change.

Spanking isn't about dominating, or abusing your child. It's about getting their attention, and solving the problem quickly and decisively, and together.

Answer 8

I might not see a problem as long as you are doing it without anger (I am still skeptical). People who were spanked as young children or witnessed their siblings being spanked can see it as a way to deal with anger rather than correction or discipline. If you are spanking when you are mad, the kids have won the battle and it will only lead to them doing the same.

But...if you think of kids as little people their isn't a reason to spank when you can invoke "thinking times" and have the respect of your children to perform "thinking time". It's all about respect and not fear and spankings tend to lean towards fear rather than respect.

Just my opinion...we tried spanking our son (now 3 years old) and it never worked for more than hurting his feelings but thinking time or the threat of going to bed is the only thing that works for us and still allows him to love us and not hit other children when things get out of control.

Answer 9

I am from the old school also. I believe in trying to talk to the child first and then if that does not work then the old swat across the rear end is in the making. I don't see time outs as being a punisment for bad behavior.

Answer 10

i am totally for spanking. that's the problem with America we need to discipline our children more with spankings! that's why they are so dang spoiled!