My daughter and son-in-law are trying to 'Potty Train' their 17 month old daughter-- Isn't that a bit early?

Question

Seems to me that too much is going on at one time:
- my daughter is pregnant with their second (due in Sept.)
- is trying to wean their daughter from nursing

- I personally believe she's not ready to potty train-- isn't even aware of when she 'wets'.
I am concerned about too many changes for her.
- ----and that the parents are concerned about the cost and effort of 2 in diapers.

- I have suggested to them, it's too much for her and that she is too young. She's already out of her crib and uses a bed.

Maybe I am just too protective, but I believe in letting kids be kids and let 'Potty Training' start when they show signs of 'being ready'........ Any suggestions?

Thank You for any ideas on this one!

Answer 1

yah thats way to early, maybe if you could afford it you could help them out w/ daipers. Hope this helps:)

Answer 2

This is a tricky one, and really depends on each individual child.
I read that as soon as your child is able to understand simple commands like 'put your shoes in the cupboard' 'pick up the book' then they were ready to be able to start the whole potty training thing.
My youngest daughter has just mastered the art of wearing knickers and she is only 18 months old. She didn't really show signs of being ready, but a couple of accidents and now she says "mummy pee" and off we go to the toilet, she pees and thats it. It has been about a week from start to finish. I think the younger they are the more normal it seems to them, they don't really need any sort of reward, just their mums big smile and they know they have done something good.
Maybe it seems to you that they are doing too much too soon, but maybe they feel their daughter is ready, and are keen to make her the 'big girl' before the new babe arrives which I can understand.
Your grandaughter is doing great, to be out of a cot at 17 months is fine, and she is quite old for bottles, if that is what you mean by nursing, if she is still being breastfed, you may find that is the hardest thing to stop, but it will all come together in good time so she doesn't feel too pushed out by the new arrival.
Don't worry, children have an uncanny way of making us think they are helpless, but in fact know an awful lot more than they are letting on, she will soon let you know if its too much for her, in the meantime try to take a step back and appreciate how hard your daughter is trying to be prepared for the new babe, it is an exciting time but very stressfull especially when you are faced with the extra cost.
Good luck.

Answer 3

I have 3 kids, and I have learned progressively not to push the potty training too early. I started training my daughter at 18 months and she was the HARDEST! She wasn't fully trained until she was almost 4 years old, and I feel my pressing the issue too early made her very resistant of it.

Some of the biggest signs of potty training readiness are the ability to hold the urine for hours at a time (is, staying dry for a long time then wetting all at once) and showing a general interest in the toilet. If those aren't there..I wouldn't even think about trying it.

I have a 20 month old son and we've not even brought it up yet. For me and my family, it's best to wait until they are showing signs that they actually want to try.

However, this is not your child. I must stress that you have to repsect their parenting choices, whether you agree with them or not. Giving advice is great, meddling is only going to alienate your rpecious family from you. They have valid concerns in the cost of diapering two children simultaneously, and how they choose to deal with that is up to them. If you've already voiced your opinion and they choose to proceed, then it's time to drop it. Don't sabotage your relationship over issues as small as this.

Answer 4

My daughter is 17 months old too and we are gonna start potty training her soon, she tells us when she pees and poops and I cant go to the bathroom without her, she throws a fit, she knows what the potty is, so I think shes ready. All kids are different some are ready before others, I was potty trained before I was 2. Did I understand you right when you said she was weaning from nursing? Is she still nursing the 17 month old? I would be more concerned about that than the potty training.

Answer 5

I have a 17 month old. I have started talking about going potty and teaching her what the potty seat is for and simple things like that, but one thing I do know - you can't force a baby to potty train, because if you try to force it - you will be washing allot more pants than usual. As long as they are not punishing her for soiling her clothes everything will be okay.

Let them try, their little one will only do it if she is ready - they can't hurt her by encouraging it - even if they are a little overanxious - she will rise to the level of their expectations at some point (it may not be as early as they would like) but she may potty train faster than she would have if they had taken a complete "lasse faire" attitude about it.

Answer 6

As it's her kids, you really can't say anything without starting a fight. I personally don't think that there is a set rule for age as far as beginning the potty training. I was potty trained completely by 2 because I couldn't stand feeling wet. (From what I was told.)
I think the bigger issue is when parents don't want to let go of having "their little baby" any longer, and they keep that kid in diapers tooo long.
Here's an anecdote:
I used to babysit kids out of my house, and one mother refused to potty train her 4 1/2 year old boy. She kept insisting that he wasn't ready and she wasn't ready to give up her "baby". (He was the youngest.) So, one day, I handed that kid a package of new "big boy" underwear and said: "Well, if you want to keep wearing diapers, you'll be changing yourself from now on. Or, you can try wearing these instead." Wouldn't you know it, the first time I sent him to the bathroom with a fresh diaper and a box of wipes, he cried and cried, then he came out and asked for the underwear. Poof! Potty training completed.

Answer 7

Well, I can totally relate to the concern over have two little ones in diapers at the same time. I have two in diapers right now and I am praying my son will be potty trained by the time my third arrives in July...

That being said, it does sound a bit early for your granddaughter to be potty trained, but that can also change very quickly.

My advice to you is to allow them to attempt to train her. No doubt they will become frustrated quickly and resolve to life with double diaper duty for a little while. You gave them you suggestions already. There's nothing else you can do.

Answer 8

Watch your baby, not the calendar, for the following "I'm ready to learn" signs:
Imitates your toileting
Verbally communicates other sensations, such as hunger
Understands simple requests, such as "go get ball"
Begins to pull diapers off when wet or soiled, or comes to tell you he's dirty
Follows you to the bathroom
Able to pull clothes off
Climbs onto the potty-chair or toilet
Has dry spells: stays dry at least three hours
Investigates his or her body equipment

Watch your baby for the following external signs that he feels the pressure inside:
Peers into diaper
Squatting
Grabbing diapers
Crossing legs
Grunting and grimacing
Retreating to the corner or behind the couch like a mother cat about to deliver
About to go: retreats to quiet place, stops play quiets, squats. Going: grabs diaper, grunts, crosses legs.

Gone: peers at diaper bulge, senses different feel, resumes play or verbalizes production. These signs tell you that baby is developmentally mature enough to be aware of what's going on inside his body.

Timely training. There are developmental phases when toilet-training is untimely. If your toddler is going through a generally negative mood in which he resists all interventions and his vocabulary is limited to the two-letter word "no," hold onto your techniques a few more weeks and catch him at a more receptive time.

Are you ready? Choose a time to train when you're not preoccupied with other commitments, such as during an older child's high-need period, work stress, a move, a week before childbirth (a new baby in the house tends to cause regression anyway), and so on. Also, warm-weather training works best-you don't have snowsuits to contend with.

Answer 9

They should have thought about the cost before they got pregnant again. My son is 17 months and I can't imagine him potty training now. He's just to young to understand. If they try to push her and it doesn't work then she may have a harder time when it is time.

Answer 10

Not at all. It's never too early to start potty training. A friend of mine had her daughter potty trained at a year old. I have 3 kids and they were all potty trained around that age also.

Answer 11

I agree with waiting until the child is ready, it all depends on the child. My daughter is 18 months and is really good during the day, but she hasn't mastered it at night yet. I wouldn't say that she's too young. Have you adressed these concerns to your daughter? Talk to her about your concerns.