my ex gf calls late Valentine's eve to thank me for a card I sent. I am trying to get her back. Good sign?

Question

she did however say "no thanks" to my dinner invite and said she was having v-day dinner with girl friends (legit...I know them). She left a message saying thanks for the thoughtful card and that she will talk to me about everything, but not yet. Women drive me nuts and I can't figure them out....is this a good sign? I mean this is a woman I dated for two years. She is finally doing things like the message and at least sending very short responses to emails where there was no response before. Beleive it or not, we are in our 30s not high school. lol. Thoughts anyone?

Answer 1

You must have been pretty mean to her! Either that or this: Why should she go back to you? You are in your 30s and you haven't proposed yet? Hellooooooo. Women don't have time to wait around for guys that don't want them. We have a future to think about. If I am dating a guy for over a year and he has not mentioned the future, I'm OUT. And I MEAN it. If he shows back up, it better be with a ring and he better have a date set. Otherwise, why bother? Even if you love someone, if they are not going to marry you, why waste time. A girl can waste YEARS waiting for a man. And then, she's way older and he starts thinking why marry her? I can trade her in for a younger model.

Happens all the time.

You better make up your mind if you really want her or if you just miss certain things. A guy can stay living with a girl for 9 years and never propose, then after she leaves, he goes out and marries some girl he knew for six months!

Women know this and as much as it hurts us to leave, a lady will because she HAS to. She can't depend on you, so she has to find someone else.

Your ex girlfriend is obviously a Lady. And a Lady always knows when to leave.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

By all means, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, get yourself overly excited about all this because you most certainly will push her away! There's no way of knowing whether she wants you back, but it sounds more like she's trying to develop a sort of friendship with you. Or at least trying to be respectful and kind. If you read more into this then what she's saying, you'll end up getting hurt again. The fact that she turned down your dinner invite says that she's not into doing that with you right now...and maybe never. Ask yourself, is having her back in your life good for you? Are you obsessing and fretting about her all the time? Do you remember what it took to get over her last time? Anyway, good luck!

Answer 4

I am 28 m. It is a good thing that she called you on V day about the card. But maybe shes just a polite girl and didn't realise the significance of calling on that day to you. Although he would have to be pretty stupid not to realise. Put it this way, you know she thought enough of you on v day to call.

I wouldn't be disheartened by the dinner turn down. Obviously you guys have issues and history. The nice thing is she has said she is going to tell you all, one way or the other.

It is a positive sign that she has decided to resume communications, of course it is. I take it she "freezed" you out for a while. My experience is that girls need ages to think about things sometimes 6 months.

They like resolution. Maybe she is warming up to try and resolve with you guys being friends and her apologising or whatever. Closure.

BUT my friend, its never over till the fat lady sings, she is resuming contact with you which means you have the chance to have your say.

Women confuse everyone. If you play their game you get caught in confusion- play your own game with your own logic.

I will say this- v cards and dinner invites and stuff--- not that cool. Think about it- you are exs and this point in her mind. She has smelt your dirty breath in the morning. It sounds like you are trying to win her over by starting as if you just met.

I would just be myself and be very cool and pleasant. Sure send her a message occasionally to encourage the onset of the "talk". No candy, no romantic stuff at all. You have to resurrect that by talking - communication.

So she meets up with you- don't say any compliments- use your eyes to express that. Be calm and nice and talk slowly and reasonably. Just be the best self you can be. No arguments, listen listen listen. And only say something when you have to.... its often pointless trying to win arguments with these girls. YOU are not out to win an argument about why you should be together. She knows oh too well that you want that.

What she wants is to see you in a natural light, playing it cool. She doesn't even need you to say anything. She will say her thing. Don't pay too much attention to it if its bad. Just nod. She will walk away if you've been cool, and go man he was so cool, am I making a big mistake. Then you leave it for a while, message her again and be cool etc etc. YOu have to in a non-verbal way show her what a catch you are. If she comes over make sure you have something cooking. Have some books out about like BUddhism or something.... you know what I mean all that deep "hes a great catch" stuff. Talk about your mom or something - it makes her think about family and you and her. Its like when a girl says they are having a shower we think about them naked right?

As I have been writing I have realised that it is a good sign that she responded on v day. It is a very good sign. Now don't be a d i c k and go all goey romantic when you see her and mess it up.

email me for more suggestions if you like, this interests me

Answer 5

She is playing with you. Just getting attention and some reasons to check if your single etc. Doesn't mean she wants to spend time with you. This is a woman you must rather decline, because you will be wasting your time. You have tried your luck before and it didn't work. 2nd chances are rare and rarely work out. I suggest you keep in contact and play her game. But know inside your head that you two will never get back together. It is better you think like that because at the moment you are giving your self false hope and false everything that feels good.
My suggestion: Do the things you love to do and the right woman will find you.

Answer 6

It's a good thing you clarified your age. I was thinking she just finish watching "Two can play that game" and decided to try the "ten day rule" on you.

What you left out was why you broke up in the first place, a vital piece of information used when determining what method of kiss *** is appropriate. But I'm smart enough to know that if you sent flowers, accept her reasons "dinner with girlfriends" and the ultimate one, you settle for the yes or no answer as a form of conversation.......................... damn! you must have been a bad boy.

So you don't need advice, you need time. Time to allow her to forgive you, to punish you and to have you do all the stuff you should have been doing instead of screwing up.

p.s. If she was really going to leave you she would have sent those flowers to one of your boys .... you know the one you can't trust with the hole in a toilet paper roll. But instead she said thanks, it was thoughtful........... read the signs........ man!

Answer 7

i would say that since your attempt to reach out to her worked, and she was nice and thanked you, that is a good sign that she is coming around, at least in the area of being a friend to you. dont get your hopes up, pal, but just keep your chin up, and keep doing little things to reach out to her. maybe one day soon, she will realize its time to talk to you for real about the thing or things that made you break up in the first place. just be patient, because patience is a virtue! when the time is right, and if its meant to be, she will come around, and you may get another chance with her :-) if not, i'd say that there is a better woman out there for you!

Answer 8

Well She might just feel sorry for you It doesnt seem like she is in a hurry to talk things over and she might just like all the attention your giving her

Answer 9

1. yeah its a good sign

Answer 10

U r the one who is pestering her.