To tip or not to tip...that is the question.?

Question

I go out to eat frequently. I'm typically a good tipper, 15-50%, depending on the situation and service. When I was younger, my mom taught me to tip 15%. As I have gotten older, I figure if I was tipping 15% then, it's only common sense that I tip better now. The problem is when I have really crappy service. Even when my service is bad I tip 15%, but sometimes you have service that is so terrible, you don't even want to leave that. The thing is, there is a stereotype that African-American people and young people don't leave good tips. I've even heard this from servers themselves or saw that I didn't get the same level of service because the server thought that I was not going to leave a nice tip (either because of my age or my ethnicity). If I don't tip, the server, it perpetuates the stigma that African-American's don't tip. If I do leave a tip, I am tipping them for horrid service. I would like to hear from servers. Do you ever think a bad tip was related to your service?

If something is wrong I do ask for the manager and explain the situation. If the service is excellent I ask for the manager and let them know how well the server did. If the service was bad, but not bad enough to ask for a manager, I have left a message on the receipt and let the server know that I was not pleased with the service.

I was at a bar once and I was talking to a bartender and we were talking about how my favorite bar has better drinks than his bar. He asked me how much I tip and went on to say that African-Americans don't leave good tips, so he doesn't fix them good drinks. I was floored! I could not believe that he actually said that. Although I have heard it before and I know a lot of people have this stereotype, for him to actually say it to me was very unacceptable.

15-30% is usually at a restaurant. If I go to "my favorite bar" that's when I usually tip up to 50% and that's because the service is excellent, the drinks are strong, and we're all good friends. Everyone at that bar pretty much tips like that and it's because we have such a personal relationship (friendship only) with the bartenders.

Answer 1

Yes, I waited tables for 7 years in school and it does matter on the service, besides if the waitress or waiter is professional enough color or age don't matter, it's the customer themselves that they are to be taking care of. I am sorry if you feel like you are being stereotyped..you might be and I am sorry for that but I can guarantee that if I were waiting on you the thoughts that you are thinking now wouldn't even cross your mind! :)
It just all depends on what kind of server you get. I think that no matter what is said you should leave what you feel the server deserved...

Answer 2

I'm not a server or African-American, but I do think you bring up a great question! If this helps at all, I would consider how you tip at the places that you regularly dine, as opposed to random places that you occasionally drop in on. If you get good/great service at your favorite places, I'd say stick with how you tip, even if others may find it excessive. But if you get crappy service at a place you frequent, don't be afraid to speak to a manager. Your business is keeping them in business!
It really stinks that you get judged as a customer, before you shell out a tip. YOU are the one who should be judging the establishment, the food and the wait staff. Too bad more people don't understand that you have a choice of where you want to eat, and that they're lucky to have you as a valued customer.

Answer 3

According to Emily Post's "Etiquette," you should tip 20%, before sales tax, for excellent service at a high class restaurant, 15% at a less classy or family restaurant. I personally work off 15% as a base, going up or down based on quality of service. If I get to the point that I do not want to leave a tip because of poor service, I get a manager and explain my dissatisfaction. This way the server finds out that s/he did a poor job, rather than thinking I stiffed him/her. In addition, if a server did an exceptional job, I will also speak to the manager. They don't often hear about the good things people experienced, so I know it helps perk them up. Also, if I go to a particular restaurant often, I usually end up finding a good server and will always request that person.

Answer 4

Hi, as a frequent visitor to your country I always leave a good tip (15-20%)when I have good service. If the service is not good - I don't leave a tip. Tips are for the level of service and many employees rely on tips because their basic wages are crap. I don't think it matters that you are a young African -American or even if you were a retired Mexican-Chinese - if the service is not good - don't tip.By the way, I'm Scottish.

Answer 5

I have never heard tip considerations being race based...stupidist thing I ever heard. Your Mom was correct (They almost always are). If your in most of the states, double the tax amount for good service (assuming the tax rate is 7.5%) If they are better, bump it up some.
If I go somewhere where my service is dependant on my tip history, say goodbye... Geez, what happens if the server was awful and you didn't tip at all? Chances are you wont return anyway. If you did, what are they going to do? Throw a steak at you? LOL Seriously...keep your money...double the tax. That goes for green and purple people also.

Answer 6

Good question. This may sound strange, but I think it depends on the age of the server. If they are young and obviously new at the job, I say you should tip them even if it isnt the best service. If they obviously dont care about what their service is like and show no initiative, I dont think you should.

Answer 7

well,...its not a stereotype.......its true..but it does make some of the good people look bad...but hey....for bad service i dont tip very well...and for that bartender to say that....if he was rude about it....i wouldnt give him anymore tip..but if he said it in a nice way..i would accept that he said that in all honesty..and nothing to you......but....it does help to either tip or not tip.....when service is bad..i tip 1 dollar or nothing...when service is good...i tip the typical 15-40%......and if i go there a couple of times...they will know that bad service gets bad tip...why care about what others think when it makes no sense to care? doesnt it make sense that they care about you since you are the tipper? but dont be angry if you are going to tip horrible service...dont you control the tip money going out of your pocket? but i do feel that when you tip like 40-50 percent..u want someone to pay attention..and then when u tip very low....u get angry because nobody seen you tip the 40-50 percent....each time its different......they only expect to get like 15%...so give them about 15-20 or whatever you want...but u cant express that you sometimes tip 50%....that has nothing to do with them.....their responsibility is to give you good service...and then ...expect their 15% or so.....and what you give them is entirely up to you..if its bad service..then you rate the service....

Answer 8

This is nonsense. Tips are not at all related to any race. I have seen Afro-Americans leave heavy tips at pubs and restaurants.

Its all a matter of how pleased you are with the service and how generous you feel on that day.

Answer 9

Tipping pays for the service rendered. If I am not getting the service, or only poorly, I don't pay for it - hence I don't tip.

It is an extremely rare occurrence. Normally, in the US I'd pay 15%, 20 % in big cities, fridays and saturdays, and 25% in exceptional cases. Out of the US I follow local habits.

Anything more is overpaying - unless you pay for something else than service ???

Class and elegance are in measure, and paying more does not earn you more respect...

Answer 10

When you get bad service complain to the manager. You might get a discount on your entire meal.