Would this be unfair if a girl did this to you?

Question

Guys - let's say you've finally met or have the chance to be with the "girl of your dreams" or the "girl you want to be with". She feels the same way you do about her (she adores, cares, and loves you) and everything is perfect BUT she can't committ to anything serious because of major things going on in her life (finishing her degree, just things an individual has to do on their own to grow up and fufill their dreams). She doesn't want to "risk" anything because she's protective of this relationship and doesn't want anything bad to happen. She thinks she'd be more "selfish" if she tried to have a relationship, with you being number 10 on her "priority list" than - she prefers do finish what she needs to do before she can whole heartdely be there for you - do you think this is unfair?

PS: i'm the GIRL who feels this way about a guy...i just want to hear a guy's perspective....i'm just soooo afraid of losing him and i don't want anything bad to happen in our relationship....we're only in our 20's and i still think we're young to have that kind of "serious relationship" - i can't give him what he deserves - if we're still friends, he's still there, and if WE might feel the same way again - you never know....he's definitely a one in a million

Answer 1

i'm trying to put myself into your situation, and honestly i found it really tough. it's really tough man, because if she honestly loves you, why would she not be able to commit? i mean, it's ok for her to mind her studies first or her family or anything personal. to me i wouldn't mind if she prioritizes her studies first. i.e. instead of going out with me on a friday night she opts to stay home to study because she has a exam on saturday. this is cool. but for her not to commit to a relationship because of this? i think you should talk to her and explain that you're willing to be there for her while she finishes her studies. that she doesn't have to worry that the relationship is going to ruin anything else she does, infact it will help her. if she agrees with this then great but if not... im sorry man but i think she doesn't really have room for your relationship now. this is really tough man. but if this is the case i guess you have to carry on for the moment and be the best man that you can be. don't worry about her for the moment. let her know that you're cool with what she wants.

Answer 2

I think it is unfair for people to pressure someone they love to commit while important things are happening in their lives. You should wait until all this is over (like the summer.. or something, or when she wants be serious with the relationship). After all, what if she just says she wants to be serious just to get you off her back? I think people should be more patient with these things. You might ruin a good relationship if you keep on pressuring the other person.

Answer 3

Yes, I would tell her I would respect her need for scholastic excellence and would give her my best when she had time to spend with me. I would say life is filled with busyness no matter what stage we are in and a relationship with the right person will enhance life and help in those stressful times. I would say I will take you as you are where you are and how you are and hopefully we can make the most of what we have so when you can give more we will already have established intimacy.

Answer 4

This may not be the time she can devote to you. Move forward in your own life. Keep growing. Don't get "stuck" in one place that just isn't good for you. Whether she is selfish or not doesn't really matter. The right person will pop up for you. Don't give up hope. Find what is good for you now.

Answer 5

On behalf of women everywhere in the free world, we salute you, for your moral terpitude and upstanding loyalty to the preservation of your virginiosity. Already one can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth across the land. Although we may take umbrage regarding the existence of one worthy enough to receive your first fruits, as it were, we will miss it not and we'll take no offense as we can easily make due without, and you may continue on with your moribund existence without worry as to ours. We may easily make compensation after a few hand grip exercises and a likeness of Monsier Pitt, as you most probably do. Alas, that was uttered aloud. Tsk. Contrary to your companion's inference, we require no male species for our deserved satisfaction, although they can be useful, they are merely sniveling trinkets with which to accessorize with - eh, rox?

Answer 6

Move on. She doesn't have a clue and is most probably a liberal.

There is an old scripture that goes something like "where thou goest, I will follow tither," regarding what Abraham's wife told him.

By the same token, look for a woman who respects your responsiblity and leadership qualities, not one who expects you to follow her or behave like a puppy dog (or to mold your life around her, ect.).

Answer 7

It sounds like you think it is, and its happening to you. Thats tough. I think that it's not really unfair, because on the other hand, wouldn't be unfair to her to compromise her education or her wellbeing and health just so that you could be happy? If you really love her, then you can wait for her.

Answer 8

what she is worried about is that she wont be able to give you the attention you deserve with so much else going on with her...

if you are willing to put up with her schedule then tell her so... let her know that you care enough to help her through it.

Answer 9

i see her point but if u feel like its destroying the relationship, tell her. my ex was like her, i didnt say nythin because i thought i had to respect his opinion, n it upset me, so i just left him oneday. dont kno if u can sort it out but tell her how u feel, tell her it kinda seems unfair to u. talk to her not here.

Answer 10

girls point- well let her get her education so when you end up marring her she will have a good job and you wont be homless ;) lol

ps: srry for reading this