i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we haven't had sex yet. i tell him that i don't feel ready yet and lately, he seems to be getting more frustrated. i guess it's not fair for him... but i don't know what i'm waiting for. .
for some reason, i feel like i should hold on to being a virgin as long as i possibly can. what should i do? any serious suggestions or personal experiences would be very helpful.
2007-02-15 16:01:53 · 28 answers · asked by mystery girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
follow your heart sweetie, don't let yourself be pushed into sex because of a guilt trip. You are an amazing person to have this kind of standard, hold on to that standard, and stand firm!!
;-)
2007-02-15 16:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by sophia 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NEVER let a guy pressure you into what you don't want to do. I am in this same situation right now. My guy I've been talking to is continuously asking me when he's gonna get some. I've learned from experience to not give anything important up to a guy until you make sure he REALLY loves you. Be careful girl.. don't lose it to a guy unless you really know what you're getting into. Your first time having sex is a time you will always remember and you don't want to have a bad memory of it. It is best to save sex until marriage. Too many people that have sex before marriage screw it up. And if you wait until marraige the sex will be soooooo much better because it is with someone you truly care about and not just a random f*ck.
Don't feel like it's not fair for him, because it's not fair for you to be pressured to give away something so special. If he loves you, he WILL wait. If he doesn't wait and decides to move on, then he DOESN'T love you. You deserve someone who loves you. Hope everything goes well for you girlie :)
2007-02-16 00:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by J Leigh ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't ready then you aren't ready. Sex isn't something that is to be thrown around and maybe your boyfriend isn't the one for you to lose it too. HE SHOULD not be getting frustrated, if you aren't ready to take that jump emotionally and mentally then don't. It is your body and if he can't understand that then maybe he doesn't need to be in that relationship. I waited until I was 17 and personally I wish that I had waited longer, I was with a guy for 2 years before that. Was he the one that it should have been with, probably not, will I remember that for the rest of my life, Yes. Do what your brain and heart tell you to do, sex does not equal love, Are you waiting until marriage? Some people do and that is totally acceptable. It is fair to him, he is with you and he should respect you, don't say it isn't fair to him. It is your decision not anyone else's. Hope this helps
2007-02-16 00:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being intimate sexually with someone you love should be special and if you are not ready then your guy should respect your decision. you two have been committed to each other for 4 years and I am sure he loves you and wants the relationship to progress to a different level but there are other ways to allow that. The two of you need to have a heart to heart. Just let him know how you feel about him and that just because you are not ready to have sex doesn't mean you love him any less. Best of luck to you both!
2007-02-16 00:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Atropabelladonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i know you said girls only. But you also said serious suggestions so im willing to help out too. I admire you for being firm with your committment to your virginity. Probably you're getting emotionally challenged and that's why you're confused right now. You want to please your boyfriend but at the same time keep yourself pure. I believe that it is not a requirement for your boyfriend to win your virginity before marriage. As long as you are doing your part in being a good girlfriend, being loyal, you've done your part. He has to respect your decision.If not, then i think he has a distorted definition of love. Love doesn't require you to give up your virginity. If he wll keep on making you feel guilty then that's not love. That's possession. The only time it's fair for you to give it up for him is after marriage. So be straight with him. Tell him you want to be pure until marriage.
2007-02-16 00:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by J.P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about why you want to hold on to your virginity. If you're waiting for marriage, that's an admirable goal and one you should stick to. But if you've been with him four years, and you're old enough to be thinking about marriage, and you think he could be the one, then maybe you should start thinking seriously about that. If you're not holding out for marriage but just for Mr. Right--well, if you've been dating this guy for four years and you don't think he's the right guy to lose your virginity to, then you should probably break up with him and start looking for that guy. But you might be really young still--if you're under 18, you should wait until you're older.
Your boyfriend sounds really patient--hopefully he will stay patient. Maybe once you've figured out why you're waiting, you can explain it to him and he will be willing to wait longer. But don't let him pressure you into doing anything you're not ready to do yet. Sex is an expression of love, and if he's forcing you before you're ready, well, first that makes you wonder how much he really does love you, and second, you'll probably resent him for it at some point.
2007-02-16 00:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by cg17 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont force yourself into anything
Do it when ever you feel ready
You wont know when that will happen but when you do feel ready you will know it
Sex is not only a physical thing but a more of emotional thing the first time, you connect to the other person on a whole different level and that is what you should be ready for you should be able to handle it
2007-02-16 00:08:09 · answer #7 · answered by SAgirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But if you are asking about love in general, then it is best you go
read books or log into sites that offer you the best information to
solve your present status, this is because we can be all in the
same situation , but not all men are alike and it all depends on
their individual needs to address the verb you trying to put into
action. It is not a matter of service on the service, it has to come
deep within and do you develop that takes the both of you to go
talk it over.......I 'd suggestion you open-up and don't forget it is
not a sin nor a bad attitude to discuss this openly with your own
man, ask him more of what is there that you need to do to keep
him satisfied.....It takes two to tango....once you neglect this one
Nessa of open discussion with your man...it leads him to look for
it , and this is why most man get bored....regular exchange of
ideas and options to make your bedroom relationship works is
part of what his concern too, prior to performance.
If you don't plan the foundation of your love making well before
mating , he will never be satisfied....you can't enjoy something
when your partner doesn't sing the same tune.
2007-02-16 00:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it says girls only but i think i may have something to put in here. consider how old you are (im not asking) and consider your feelings for him. more importantly, i dont think the relationship is as good as it could be if you are feeling pressured for sex. if he respects you then he will wait until you are ready. just tell him that you dont want to give it up so soon. if he loves you (and he should if he wants to have sex with you) then he will wait until you are ready. no one wants to regret their first time, so do it on your terms :)
2007-02-16 00:06:52 · answer #9 · answered by Zach S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knows your point. If he loves you, he won't push you to do that stuff. You have noble conviction, stand firm and hold on it no matter what.
Having that uncontrollable impulse i guess is really one of guys' worst struggle but, you can help him by being modest in the way you dress(be careful to dress in such a way that you could not flare him), avoiding some certain physical contact with him, and tell him in honest heart that you would want to preserve yur virginity for your future spouse and give him assurance that if that future spouse would be him, he'll have you wholly.(just make sure that you could stick to your word if you r going to tell him that.
in this liberal society, sex before marriage is already rampant,praise God that there are still some people who want to preserve their virginity for their one true love. Let us not be swayed!!!!Let us hold on in our conviction!!
2007-02-16 00:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by zyzzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not ready then the time or (maybe) the person isn't right. Don't let anyone under any circumstances talk you or make you feel guilty into doing something your not ready for. You'll know when everything is right for you. Stand your ground, you'll be happy you did.
2007-02-16 00:08:40 · answer #11 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋