How do I get my step-son to stop lying to me?

Question

My step-son is 13 years old and he continues to lie to me about everything. Some of the thing's that he lies about is quite obvious and when I call him on it he swears that he is not lying. He get very angry with me which in turn pisses me the **** off. What can I do???

Answer 1

Alice,

I could have written that question myself. I am stepmom to a 13 yr old boy as well who all he does is lie to me. In fact, yesterday we had a huge blow up because of some lies he was telling.

What I do is punish right then and there. I come up with a chore or job that he HATES doing and I make him do it right then. I also need to be better about telling my husband. Our spouses as "real" parents need to back us up and also put their foot down about this. My stepson gets mad as well and altho I am steaming mad, I make sure he knows I am in charge and that I won't be lied to in my house. I told him yesterday that I can't trust him and I won't be doing anything for him until he can be a man and stop lying to me all the time. And I meant it. Stop doing things for your stepson like taking him places, buying him things, etc. Just stop and flat out tell him why. Back off from him and his behavior a little as well (detach they say). Remember, he is NOT a reflection on you, but your husband. Its HIS kid, HIS problem ultimately. I have had to adopt that kind of attitude the last 18 months because of things like this.

Good luck to you! Remember, its YOUR house, YOUR rules, and a teenager has NO say. You are the adult--don't be afraid to lay the law down!

Answer 2

You have to sit him down and say we are all going to work on telling the truth. You have to be prepared for him to ask you uncomfortable questions and you have to answer honestly. Tell him we are all going to be more honest and if you are caught lying you will have consequences and stick to it. All of you.
I am sure he is ready to not be treated like a child(as much) in his mind he thinks he is becoming a man and you don;t have to take care of him. Just let him know you just care about him.