I was in a relationship with a girl for over a year, she dumped me for a player. 3 months later, I'm finally wiping the tears away, and moving on. I found a girl, and now, 3 months later, I really want to date her, but she's in love with 2 players (she'd want one of them, and do anything to get one). None of the girls I have dated have really understood that I actually remember, I actually care, I actually mean things, and that I'm not looking to get in their pants. This girl's different, but she still can't see past the players. Any advice?
2007-02-15 15:21:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The thing is, this new girl isn't trying to go for them, she's trying her best to get away from them. But whenever they're around, she just can't hold it back. We talk almost every night, and she's nothing but good compared to the first girl.
By "Player", I mean "someone who pretty much goes for anyone they want at the moment, regardless of who it hurts."; at least that's what "Player" means around here.
2007-02-15 15:30:46 · update #1
And these girls aren't the most attractive. The first one used me...horribly. But I'm over it. Some of you guys have great answers, but I'm going to make a few things clear:
1)I'm NOT going to become a player. Get over it, it's not right, and it's not worth it.
2)If you think you're a player, don't bother answering. I don't want to hear from you.
2007-02-15 15:36:14 · update #2
Maybe it would be important to say that I'm shipping off for Basic Training this August.
2007-02-15 15:48:26 · update #3
If you took a look at all my female friends, none are all that attractive, and the only "whore" I've dated was the first girl, but now that I think about it, probably the only reason her and I dated so long was that I never let her in my pants.
This second girl isn't the best looking, but I'll admit, she looks great in a dress, or blue jeans and a t-shirt. But she's not a whore....and all my friends (a lot of whom are girls) agree.
2007-02-15 15:56:00 · update #4
I can tell you my experience. In high school all the really hot girls were dating players and I was left in the dust. In college, I met some hot girls, but they dumped me for players. In my twenties I realized that there were a lot of great girls that I'd been ignoring because they weren't overly hot or outgoing, but they were... nice. I started dating them, and had some great relationships. By 30, those former hot girls were sniffing around. After years of sport f'ing and trying catch some hot millionaire, they were ready to settle. They were tired, used, unattractive and desperate to catch someone with as much money as possible and have a baby. Meanwhile, all those plain nice girls had turned HOT. They'd use those 15 years to work out and improve themselves. They wanted nothing to do with players because they knew those guys were as scummy as the sluts they were banging.
Point is this: When it comes to women, beauty is fleeting -those seriously hot 21 year olds will be old and tired by 30 - but whoredom is forever. Try talking to the girls you've been ignoring.
2007-02-15 15:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think good guys finish last, ever.
3 months isnt a long time. A friend pined over his ex for 2 years. I know people still heartbroken 20 years later.
You sound like you are young and just enjoying the dating world. The woman you are choosing are just figuring out what they want out of a guy. If you are a good guy then keep that up- be caring and sweet. You will find a beautiful and loving person who appreciates that- just dont be the bad boy for the "good"girl when she comes along.
2007-02-15 23:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Paradox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change. I always wanted someone like you. My husband is that way and that's why I love him. Every woman I've known wants this. No one wants to be treated like dirt. These girls want to get something they can't have- their love and that's why they keep after them but they're not going to get it. They are not husband/good boyfriend material. They're probably also attracted to their looks, and maybe they're not looking for someone steady so it doesn't hurt their feelings when these guys don't stay with them. Being the way you are you will find a wonderful woman. You can't act like them because that's not who you are. And the woman that appreciates you is the one that's worthwhile, not the others. And you don't finish last, you are the one that wins in the end.
2007-02-15 23:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dating bimbos - women who have a brain smaller than an ant. Perhaps your criteria or standards for what you want in a woman are too low (I mean that perhaps you are only looking at the physical). Write out a list for yourself of what you are looking for in a woman and a serious relationship. Take a long time and really think about this. Then, and only then, start dating again, but stick to your guns about what is important in a relationship.
2007-02-15 23:27:11 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha you'll find someone sooner or later but as long as there's sexy guys like me out there your search is going to be pretty hard. So the best thing to do would be to step up your game and hold on to a girl friend. By the way i'm so hot and sexy.
2007-02-15 23:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean player as in "bed hopper" then she obviously wants the bad boys and doesnt deserve you. You are a rare catch, make sure you get in the right net and dont get used. I wish you well, your kind is just not out there anymore. Hold on for a grateful one. You can do it.
2007-02-15 23:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by wingedladyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason or another...girls seem to htink that these "Players" are hott or whatever! Most girls go for the bad guy even though they know they are going to get hurt! My advice to you....Don't change! Because in the long run, those same girls are going to wish they woudn't have screwed it up with you.
2007-02-23 13:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by He's my world 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all boils down to "players" do things on thier schedule, not the girls. whoever you put first is who she will put first, I think saying goes whoever cares less in the relationship is the one in control ....think about it and it will make sense. Im not saying to be controling but to be "in control". think back in history when things were not so easy to achieve, when the men had to be the leaders in the tribes, they hunted, built houses and defended the community. if you were female would you want some pansy thats not in control of his life and couldnt defend you? girls want what they cant have so if you let them treat you like a puppet they will get tired of that and leave. if you had someone kissing your A$$ and trying to please (impress) you constantly wouldnt you get tired too??? I knew you would
2007-02-15 23:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by declaar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on! Trust me, I know about this topic. Nice guys always finish last. Girls don't know a good thing until they get mature and realize they had enough. There are a lot of fish in the sea.
2007-02-15 23:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuz dude the hotter the chick,the badder the boy has 2 b. most chicks dig the guy who iz mysterious and we treat them like shyt jus 2 say they got a hot guy. Best bet iz 2 find a gurl who lykes u 4 u, not so she can go 2 a playa.
2007-02-15 23:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by Josh D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋