doing good, or living my life?

Question

I am worried. I dont know if it is more rewarding to do good all my life and like the results after I die. Or try and get as high happiness I can get without worrying about morals. I am to a point in my life where, I act so nice that I am thought of as a nerd or whatever. Which maybe girls dont like which takes girls out of my life. I guess that is not the worst thing. And friends I might act a little to nice for most people. I want to go to and endless haven. I am so deeply inspired to do good. But I hear this talk of life being all you have. I wouldnt want to waste all I have(this life) doing good for others at the expense of my own hapiness. I am confused.

Answer 1

You seem to be looking at doing good like it's a job or something! And you mention that girls do not like nice guys, well, that's wrong! Sincerity and honesty are the most desirable attributes any girl who's decent, looks for! A guy you can trust and rely on, are highly valuable attributes to have, if that's what you mean by being good. You have to live your life from your own inner sense of direction. I don't think it's optional, to just switch to be something else, because it's not helping you win dates! It doesn't work that way! You would be a fake version of yourself if you did not live in the way that feels comfortable to you. That doesn't mean you can't become more hip or enhance your appearance if your fashion choices are in the nerd category. But it's a totally different scenario to change your mind like you'd change your shirt. You are who you are from all your experiences since the day you were born. How would becoming "immoral" increase your happiness in life? But I guess it depends on your definition of morality. Doing good for others does not imply sacrificing yourself. You do have to set boundaries. It's called self-respect, and conversely, others should have respect for you in return. If not, you're hanging out with the wrong people. But if you're over-extending yourself to be nice and do good, as you say, then you're going beyond personal limits into the area of that of another, who's life you cannot live, but to whom you can help, but only to the extent you are not taking away from what you need in your own life. It is not your responsibility to carry the burdens in the life of another, friend or not. If you are nice to the point that you are not really telling the truth anymore, then that's called living a lie. But being nice and good is fine, providing it's based on honesty, integrity and caring. But not if it's carried past the point of robbing you in ways that are important to you. Then notice that and change that but still be honest to your true intentions from your heart. There are those who do live lives of sacrifice for others, and if that's the only way life has meaning for you, then that's a different story! If it feels natural to you, and not forced, then that's the way you must follow for your own peace of mind. So do what comes naturally, and when it feels forced, or put upon you in any way, then there's your indication that this is not part of who you are!

Answer 2

Dont try so hard to impress people with your kindness at the expense of your own happiness, that really doesnt do anybody any good. As the saying goes, you cant really make anybody else happy unless youre happy. Do whatever you feel the need to do to take care of your own needs and wants ie following your own bliss, then and only then can your life have meaning and ONLY when your life has true meaning can anybody be happy. Then kindness will just naturally flow from your own heart.

Answer 3

Life is a test, and where we spend eternity is dictated by our choices and actions, and what we make of the relatively short time we have on earth. Most important is how we treat others. Religions teach us to be kind to others, and that begins with having a healthy self respect and treating others with the same respect. "Being nice" as in acting nice is probably not the best way to look at it--we should have a sincere concern and live our lives for truth and justice, with selflessness and generosity of spirit. Morals play an important part in the building of character and self respect. Have you read the poem "Desiderata", by Max Ehrmann? You might find it helpful.

Answer 4

Are you saying that in order to live your life, you should be bad?

I don't see anything wrong with being good all the time. If people don't appreciate you because you're too nice, then they are the ones who have problems. Are you hanging out with the wrong crowd?

Free your heart from hatred; free your mind from worries; live simply; give more; expect less.

Answer 5

hi, I don't want to try to convert you, or corrupt your apparent faith, so I will try to give as christian an answer as possible. That should be hard, because I'm not one, and I don't believe in endless heaven. Still, I think that if God wanted you to do good all your life, he would have made you to be that way. I think that if indeed he is real, he made us to survive, not to fade away as we worry whether or not he'll accept us. I say live your life, don't worry about how to sneak past it. Just don't go robbing banks or causing chaos and anarchy wherever you go. It's unpleasant.

Answer 6

you always have the "free will" to do what you want. you have been given a choice between good and evil. what's your choice? does making other people happy doesn't make you happy? those people that you've done good was inspired by "you" and they will never forget the good deeds you've done. are you miserable for doing good? think about it. for me, doing good things gives me that wonderful feeling that money can't buy. it's felt by the heart. goodluck and be happy.

Answer 7

Loving and doing for others is not wrong, it brings happiness to ones life to do for others and to do the will of God.

Answer 8

Just live your life happy and do good . Enjoy it