In relationships women always say, "What happaned in the past doesn't matter", but does it?

Question

See, I can see both sides of the issue. Alot of people say, what a girl or guy did in the past, slept with alot of peope, went crazy, etc, is in the past and their a changed person now. You know all that garbage that those reformed hookers spout when their trying to attract Mr. Right. I suppose I can understand that.

However, that arguement doesn't really hold up, because if a girlfriend of mine murdered someone and then ate their body (in the past), well, I think I would hold it against them, even if it was in the past. Same with if they cheated on their past boyfriend or slept with every man in cuba.

What's your opinon on th matter?



P.S. This question doesn't apply to my personal life at all, just random musings.

Answer 1

Well, I think that what happened in the past is of some importance. For instance~ if you're with someone who slept with someone and got herpes~ you really need to know that tidbit from the past... important stuff.
I think there are things from the past that are safe to keep to yourself... if they ever came up in conversation randomly it would be wrong to lie about them, but you should try a tactful way of approaching the topic if it should come up.... like if you had a threesome years ago, or if you've been with tons of different people... don't brag, just try and steer around it as smoothly as possible.

Answer 2

I personally think that what happens in the past, usually ends up INFLUENCING decisions in the future. In a way what happens in past DOES matter to what happens now.

Sleeping with billions of people before and looking for Mr. Right a few years later is an "okay" move, but will be more difficult for a person like that to stay faithful, because of influence from the past. Hopefully a person like that will realize that a lesson like that without getting emotionally hurt [though it is very unlikely].

The whole girlfriend cannibalism thing sounds really bizarre, but it can influence the decision of others to stay away from the girl, or never get hired for a job because of the criminal record.
See my point? The past will eventually HAVE to matter at some point, no matter how much the person has changed.

Answer 3

I can see your point like I always hear "Once a cheater always a cheater" and for me that is mostly true unless that person has had what I like to term the "Golden Moment" in which you realize what you have been doing is hurting everyone involved in your life. Then you just stop.. I had that moment about a year ago and I no longer think that sex with some random women is worth losing my girlfriend. But this did come after several failed relationships where I did alot of wrong. I guess you have to find that reason to change for yourself.......

Answer 4

It depends on who you are and who they are. If you're looking for the "right one" and so is she, then both of your opinions will matter. They should be the same, by the way.

If you think that the matter in question is not ok, then therein lies your answer: She's not worth it. But if you're fine with whatever it is, and you and she are sure that the other has really changed and done away with that, then it's all fine and dandy. But if you or she is unsure...well I'm sure you get the point.

Hope you got what you need for "musings", mate.

Answer 5

I agree with you. I think the importance of what a person has done in the past really depends on what exactly they did. Past performance is a good indicator of future performance. I would be wary of being with anyone who had cheated in the past, stolen, or slept with an entire nation. Some people do change but it is ridiculous for them to expect everyone to be tolerant of their past transgressions.

Answer 6

thank you for leaving the States, and truthfully why did you come back back? It of course wasn't given which you found out a thank you to be a stunning, respectful and honorable individual. i like the adult men who sense they'd desire to flow outdoors of their present day united states of america to locate a spouse who fits into their 1950's stereotype of a sturdy spouse, exceedingly whilst they locate different halves who they'd't even talk with and not employing a translator. how are you able to probable create a large trustworthy relationship in case you won't be in a position to even talk? To me that speaks greater related to the potential and mentality of the guy than it does related to the relationship pool interior the U. S.. It exhibits how judgemental, disrespectful and hypocritical that guy is. the way forward for the yank kinfolk falls heavily on the two men and girls human beings, it constantly has and constantly will. It takes 2 companions to create existence, no longer in trouble-free terms one and for there to be little ones out of wedlock and without 2 loving mom and father falls on the two who created that existence, no longer in trouble-free terms on the single that carried the infant to term. except you remained a virgin till you have been married, please do no longer press that double familiar bull crap on women human beings. thank you.

Answer 7

It always matters. Whether or not you want to admit it, even to yourself. Cause you could look at the good things, and if those don't matter, then what's the point of getting to know someone? Its all fake then. But the bad stuff, noone really can let those things go 100%.

Answer 8

First of all, I would hope you wouldn't have a murderous cannibal girlfriend lol. It has been my experience that women can let go of a man's past better than a man can let go of a woman's. Women want to be forgiving but, men want to constantly bring up old wounds that happened before they met their girlfriend/wife.

Answer 9

In some instances it your past does not matter. It was done before I came in the picture.But it also depends what was done. Some could be youthful indiscretions, while others could not be forgotten as easily or at all.

Answer 10

It IS relevant, although if you really like them you should be able to work through the issue (depending on the situation of course).