Did I do the right thing?

Question

I've been seeing this girl for 4 months. She has a lot guy friends that call her on the phone every now and then. Normally I wouldnt have a problem with this but I do notice that she does talk to some of her "guys friends" in a flirty way. She tells me that they are just friends and that its nothing that I need to worry about.

Then yesterday I found a " Hi Sweety, I miss you" text message on her phone. I confronted her about this and her answer is that she cant help it if her guy friend has developed feelings for her.

So I broke off the relationship with her because I felt that she has cheated on me with that guy. She wants to work things out and says that she'll stop flirting if I give her a second chance. But I still said no. Would you have done the same thing if you were in my position? Or would you forgive her. Would you considered what she did as "cheating?"

Answer 1

Don't break it off because she "cheated" - break it off because flirting with other guys, and even encouraging their crushes is a crappy way to treat you in general.

Answer 2

Heres the deal......
He felt totally confortable saying those things to her, which leaves u to believe that she has never protested passes made to her or flirting in that manner.
She should have respected u enough to tell the "guy friends" that she is taken at the moment and that she will not accept any type of text messages or anything that isnt strictly on a friend basis only.
She should have handled the situation.
I am not sure about taking her back or not. That would have to be up to u, however, if u do......i would stipulate that she fill her guy friends in on the rules from here on out regarding flirting and messaging and such. Thats her job to do it. Make her show u she really wants to be with u.
Good luck to u.

Answer 3

First off~ why were you going through her phone? That's like one of the uncoolest things to do.
Some people define "cheating" as something you wouldn't do if your significant other was standing right next to you. So, if she talked to guys like that while you could hear she obviously wasn't trying to be secretive around you. Some people just have those flirty personalities~ so if she is with you because she only wants you then you shouldn't be so upset about it. Also, she should try to keep the flirtatiousness to a minimum.
Also, if someone sends her a text saying what that one said~ it was the sender who wrote it, not her she was just the receiver.

So, maybe if you are insecure and don't want to tolerate it you shouldn't go back out with her~ but she didn't cheat if you go by what you wrote.

Answer 4

I don't think you did the wrong thing. She ought to know what is appropriate behavior with these so called "guy friends" Follow your gut instinct, and if it is telling you that there is only more of this kind of behavior from her, then get out now. There are many more nice, honest & sincere females out there. Oh, and don't buy that line about not being able to help it if her guy friend developed feelings for her. Married people put off vibes all the time that say "I'm NOT interested" without so much as a word!

Answer 5

woh.... ok if you've been with this girl for four months, you guys are probably pretty close, but being a girl, I know alot of my guy friends flirt with me, but nothing would ever happen, if you reeaally believ she would cheat on you then you did the right thing, but I think you should think it over a little, it could be harmless, and if she's willing to try, that means you mean more to her then some flirty convo, if this is the first time something like this has happened I think you should give her another chance.....

Answer 6

before you say that you are going to give her a second chance be a guy friend and see what she is about first that way you arent tied down but you are still talking to her as 'friends' if you cant do that just remember that you cant change anyone. so if you dont like something from the beginning go somewhere else. there are so many women out there and if you know what you are or arent looking for....finding your right person will be easier

Answer 7

hmmm... i can actually see this story from both your p.o.v.s...

in her defense, the message doesn't rlly seem all that bad. the guy may've just missed seeing her... i kno a lot of guys who call their friends who are girls, "sweetie..." he might even be gay...

on the other hand, the message could mean something entirely different... it could mean something more like "hey, sweetie, i already miss you, even though i just saw you last night! the se x was great wasn't it? i can't wait to do it again..."

i say talk to her about it and tell her to be open and honest. say that you won't be mad if she was cheating on you (even if you WILL be!), and get her to talk... that's the only way you'll find out the real truth...

Answer 8

Well, it depends on how attracted you are towards her. Obviously, there are other guys interested in her. Are you willing to fight over her with other guys? It also depends on how attracted she is towards you. Were you two really close? If you were, then it probably wasn't smart of you to break it up. If that's the case, pray to God that she'll come back to you. If you guys weren't that close, oh well. What's done is done. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

no cause she new that she was flirting with that guy so she should have stoped when she started going out eith you or maybe she was just tring to get you jelous so you would do more stuff with her but so for on what you told me i think you did the right thing

Answer 10

if i were a man
i would do exactly what you did
she is too flirty
and a high candidate for a cheater

its right that she cant help if a guy friend has developed feelings for her, but its also wrong that she entertains it while she is with you