If an ex keeps on coming back despite of every effort to send him away, does it mean he doesnt respect you?

Question

We were together for 3 years it started as infatuation then it grew but began to grow cold when he became more distant which provoked me to become more demanding and jealous because everytime i try to sit down and talk with him, he's just quiet about it. so it ended with him saying he needs to fix his self issues and he can't manage me anymore and said a lot of hurtful things. since then until now (2yrs now) he's been trying to win me back but just for a season then he'll be nowhere again and then he's back again.. he doesn't want us to be gf-bf when he tries to win me back, his intentions are just to make sure it will be us in the future. so i dont like the setup he wants, because i don't like to keep things hanging, after all i find it hard to trust him anymore so i keep on saying no and even run away.. when i send him away, he just smiles or laughs and keeps on coming back.. does this mean he doesn't respect me?

recently we have said goodbyes (for like the hundredth time) but still he indirectly said about coming back like he just said goodbye because that's what i wanted him to do. but it doesn't feel like he knows what he's doing because he would want me back one moment and when i open the door for him, he becomes cold again, just wanting to make sure we'll be together in the future not now.. now if he doesn't respect me does he? what will i do next time we see each other and he tries again to pursue me? how should i treat him?

Answer 1

Tell him it's over. Don't be friends don't return his calls. Eventually he'll get the hint.

Answer 2

Tell him in very clear language that it is over. The two of you are never getting back together again. By being too nice about it you are leaving the door for 'us' still open.