I like a guy, and I found out he likes me. We were both talking to eachother, and other people. Still trying to get to know eachother and nothing too serious. One night though, one thing led to another and we had sex. I hadn't planned on it because I knew it would throw off my plan of being friends first and getting to know eachother. I didn't want to feel awckward knowing he is hanging out with other girls, but because I slept with him, now I will definately feel awkward. Is there any way to salvage this and change our newly awkward relationship? Or did we ruin it by sleeping together too soon?
P.S.
I'm not the type to sleep around, and now, I feel pretty low when he hangs out with another girl, even if he isn't sleeping with her. It kind of hurts. I don't want this to turn into a 'friends with benefits' thing. I want either FRIENDS or RELATIONSHIP. Only it's too soon for a relationship, but since I slept with him, I'm really worried I messed it up.
2007-02-15 13:37:28 · 11 answers · asked by Ali 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have talked to him since it happened. I let him know that I felt a little awkward now, and that I messed up and slept with him too soon. I said I didn't tell him that I like him sooner because I had wanted to take it slow, and then we had sex and that went down the drain. I didn't tell him when we had sex because I didn't know if he was one of those guys who can just sleep around and not really like the person. He answered me by saying he's not like that at all and the only way he'll do that with a girl is if he likes her. So this isn't a one sided thing.
I've pretty much decided to give us a little space and start hanging out with different groups of people (we hang out w/ different groups). Maybe some space will do us good.
2007-02-15 14:39:22 · update #1
Meant to say we hang out in the same group every weekend, but I plan on breaking away from that group a little.
2007-02-15 14:42:47 · update #2
Yep, it may be a gonner. If I were you I would go about my business, say hello when you see him and otherwise go on with your life. Perhaps if you can infuse a bit of mystery about yourself he will come back around. Or......be right upfront with him and tell him how you feel....the good, the bad and the ugly...yanno and go from there. I wouldn't however press him for his feelings.....he'll duck and dodge like you've never seen before!
2007-02-15 14:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Janet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should do is talk with this guy and make sure he knows how you feel. Not to burst your bubble but if you guys slept together and he didn't follow up with his feelings, then he probably doesn't see you more than a hook-up buddy, someone he can occasionally sleep with to satisfy his needs. The fact that he flirts with other girls only intensifies this point. I don't know what kind of friendship you guys had and I don't doubt that he might have liked you at some point, but I honestly don't think he wants a relationship with you at this point. He probably wouldn't mind sleeping with you though. It's not your fault. Some guys are just like that. And it doesn't mean he's a bad guy. It's just human nature.
Talk to him and see what he has to say and then take it from there.
2007-02-15 14:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by amcstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, how old are you?
If you are still really young, then yes you did make a mistake. The reason you're feeling guilty is that you have a conscience (which is a good thing). Sometimes we look before we leap. However, don't beat yourself up about it.
It happened, (I hope you practiced safe sex). If he is seeing someone else, is he having sex with that person? When you go to bed with someone you need to consider all of the consequences that come along with making the decision to go to bed with them. You made a bad judgement call, and it's over. If he really likes you, step back and see what he is going to do. You have to remember one thing and that a womans body is her temple. It is something to cherish. You give yourself to someone that you really care about then you don't have to worry if you made the right choice.
To answer the question you asked, you'll know if you slept with him too soon if he doesn't come back. Sometimes we have to take "licks" and keep on going. Just don't make the same mistake over and over. It's all about learning to control yourself. It takes two to Tango. So you can't really blame him. You were thinking with your head not your heart. If it bothers you that you slept with him because you truly liked him, then don't worry. Sometimes we do things we regret later, but that's how life is. You learn from your mistakes and you move on.
If he is for you he'll be back. If he's not that's his loss. Just remember, you are a good person, don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes it happens to the best of us. Just remember if it doesn't work out, take time to learn a little about the person before you go to the next step.
2007-02-15 13:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by marsha 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You blew it (probably literally). You best bet is to be honest, say you made a mistake and want to take this relationship slowly, with no sex. If he says no, he is a pig (as are 90% of guys) so drop him. Otherwise you two can continue at a slower pace.
.
2007-02-15 13:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you communicated with him? Do you know his side of the story? Where do you both stand on that issue/ You have to hash it out now as doing so will allow you both to know whether a realtionship is right for you.
2007-02-15 13:51:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late for friends.. Once you show interest in a guy (even if there is no sex), then you can forget about ever being just friends..
2007-02-15 14:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by ........ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tight spot to be in, i think that you did mess up the "friends" thing, if you was really feelin him and wanted to take it slow thats out the window. try talking to him bout whathappened but to be honest i think that the relationship might be done. good luck with that
2007-02-15 14:03:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay from your photo u seem like an adult so you shud know by now u shudnt feel low. you were naked and so was he 50/50 all u have to do is be a bigger person call him talk about it and tell him whats on your mind. he will be so dazed and hel respect u forever.
2007-02-15 13:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by uncrowned ruler 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See him like nothing happen, just be what you are. Start all over again and hopefully the relation will come back.
2007-02-15 13:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by James Louis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just need to sit down with him and talk... talk about being bf gf or just being friends.. but without the bennifit.... dont think about it if you dont want him as a bf... just think about what happend as a good thing.. you had fun ,,, it felt good and let it go..
2007-02-15 13:41:47 · answer #10 · answered by fred Flintstone 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋