why does my dad yell so much???

Question

like for example, once i was walking my dog just around 2 blocks or so. And i have a big dog, and my dog lunged for no apparent and i scraped my knee. Well when i got home, my dad just started screaming at me and screaming things like "why are you so careless?? you have to be more careful!" And it was a total accident... And another example. My dad was cooking his food and got the floor all wet. And then he slipped because of the water and you started yelling and screaming and stuff and blaming me for putting the water on the floor... .And another example, whenever my mom calls my dad on the phone to ask him something, my dad replies by yelling and saying things like"YEAH OK OK OK OK YEAH OK WHATEVER!! STOP BOTHERING ME!" and also, whenever my dad's on the computer or doing something else, and someone asks him a question, he just starts yelling and tells us to stop bothering him...My dad just never understands us!

and if someone just sits him down and tells him about this, he'll either switch the subject, deny everything, blame something on us, or just completely ignore us and start talking to our dog.... and it's just so annoying! he can't listen or commmunicante with us whatsoever! and he can only communicate nicely with strangers and my dog...

i mean... he's honestly a nice guy and he does have his values and all of those priorities too.. but just the way he talks!! UGH!

EDIT > lol my mom gave up on my dad too.. she's just all like "whatever" now

Answer 1

To me it sounds like your dad is experiencing a great deal of outside stress. I have been thinking about situations such as this a lot lately. I believe that we take our stress out on our family because we know that they love us unconditionally. He can not yell at his boss or the bank who messed up his account. He can not yell at the credit cards that have brought tons of debt in his life. They will all fire him, cut his credit and make his life even more stressful. So he comes home and unloads. Now I am not saying that it is the right thing for him to do just that I think it is what a lot of us do. My suggestion is to first think of all of the things that could be stressing him out and try to relate to him when he yells. "WOW dad sounds like you had a hard day. Perhaps we can talk about me knee later." I am not sure that I am right but I belive that a lot more of us adults do this then we are willing to admit. Good luck to you. Hang in there

Answer 2

You won't understand until you are a parent how frustrating having kids can be. It still does not make it right and it is stressful to grow up in a house full of people yelling. Trust me I know I did. Maybe you can have a talk with you dad when he is calm and tell him that this is really effecting you and your brother and see if it is possible to communicate by talking before it gets to the point of yelling. good luck hang in there.

Answer 3

I don't know how to fix this, certainly if your Mom couldn't do anything, the chances of you being successful are very doubtful. There is family counselling available which you might all want to participate in, and it sounds like he could use the Anger Management course. I once had a fellow working for me that always yelled and sounded very angry, one day I was in a meeting with my peers and our bosses and they started talking about this fellow and his bad attitude. I listened to all their whinig and how they were going to limit his career development because of this, then came to his defence. I told them that I had discovered that while he certainly sounds like he's severely Po'd all the time, this is just the way he is if you disregard his method of delivering the message, and listen to what he is saying, you'll discover that he isn't PO'd at all, this is just the way he is. So the moral is, is your father angry, or just yelling, listen to what he is saying, not how he says it. If this is the case, you will be less inclined to "get your back up" when he talks to you and significantly reduce the tension you feel.

Answer 4

I totally agree with Princess, but sometimes you don't have to say anything. Just love him, walk up and give him a hug or kiss, or just pat him lovingly on the back. He will feel your understanding. Another good idea is to write out how you feel, writing is very therapeutic. You can say how you feel and express yourself without interruptions. Even if he doesn't respond, I'm sure he will take it into consideration. Either way you will have felt better for writing it. Leave little notes of encouragement and love where you know he'll find them. It's really hard for people to get mad at love.

Answer 5

Walk up to your dad and say "hey dad, is this a good time to discuss something?" If he starts calm ok, but if he gets loud have you ever tried saying dad I'm right next to you why speak so loud. Don' t say he is yelling for that might be his trigger. If he continues say "I love you dad but i'll hear you better if we speak as if we are next to each other not countries apart." Also let him know sometimes his words hurt though you know they are not intentionally meant to hurt you. He may not get it the first few times but consistantly repeating those words help. When it is not working just say dad I'm not ignoring you but maybe we should discuss this another time.

Answer 6

It sounds like he has a lot of issues right now.

Stress? Problems?
Maybe he needs to let out some of his problems. Ask him why he gets so upset all the time. Maybe get someone to try and talk to him, let him express what is on his mind.

It sounds like there is a lot of pent up stress, and it is just building up on his shoulders.

Answer 7

just stress probably, just take the yelling unless he hits you, or says something really offensive. but he just being a dad.

Answer 8

omg u r going throught the exact same thing as me. my mom kind of gave up with my dad. u just kind of have to put up with him. deal with it kind of..... idk, maybe he should get sum anger managment classes or sumthing.... its hard though, just try to to provoke him or nething.