Why can't I seem to make friends?

Question

I'm in my late twenties and married with 3 kids. I just can't seem to make any friends! I spend all my time with the kids or trying mom groups which are always dismal failures. I'm really tired of feeling so alone. My husband works so much anymore all he does is come home to eat and sleep. I'm starting to think that maybe my personality just sucks because I just don't seem to click with anyone. I'm really starting to hate the at-home mom thing, too, because it is so isolating.

Answer 1

i have the same problem, i dont know why.... i think other people are so busy with the kids and husbands and doing their own thing that its just hard to find someone. some women are just content being with the kids all day and only hanging out with thier husbands, i couldn't do that. it would drive me crazy.

Answer 2

It is isolating and I understand why you feel this way. Sorry. Maybe you can find just one other person from your past that has kids, think on it, ask around, maybe even a family member. If so, ask them how they do it, if they have the same issues maybe you can trade off, keep her kids and she can keep yours maybe twice a month for a few hours just too give each other a break. If you find that person it will help a lot. Also, what about family, can someone take the kids for just one night a month so you can spend time with dad? Ask you mom, his or a sister or someone...you could even get them to sleep first to make it easier then sneak off to a room someplace. Whatever it takes. you may feel better about yourself if you get in touch with him again and he needs to help you to. I know he works but he can stay with them for a few hours so you can go do something fun....with even a family member. We all have very few friends in a life so if you have one, concentrate on that one and try to spend time with her. It takes work but you can do it. Maybe you need to go to a small job at night when he gets home, that might make you feel better. He should understand, talk to him and the rest of the family and see what you all together can come up with. Don't shut yourself off, tell anyone that will listen how you are feeling, you might be surprisd how much they are willing to help. Love coming your way baby girl.

Answer 3

Being a mom is tough, and it sounds like you're not happy with yourself right now. If you can find a way to like yourself more it will show. You deserve better, I can tell you're okay - just a little beaten down by the daily grind.

Find a Bunko group in the neighborhood and just go play some cards with the ladies. My wife (over 50) says they are all ages and they have a blast. Tell your husband it is imperative he get home on Bunko night and give you a chance at some fun.

Walk the kids and connect with other walkers. Do your make up and get feeling good about yourself before you leave the house. Invite somebody (female!) you connect with out to lunch.

I'm a guy, but my wife went through this - we have 3 kids - and she'd agree with me. Good luck - things will change.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are in a rut. Look at the community classes offered in your area. There are "Mommy and Me" classes where moms get together with kids and socialize. Or take some classes at the community college and get a baby sitter.

Sounds as if your husband needs to work less and be more of a husband and father. Limit spending and begin to need less money so he won't have the excuse to have to work more.

If you are hating the stay at home mom thing, maybe it is time to get a job and put the kids in day care.

Answer 5

It's hard to make friends as you get older (especially when you have kids, I have two daughters myself), I have been a line dancer since I was 16 and although I go twice a week and have tons of aquantences, it's harder to find people with the same interests and lifestyle and make that really good friend or group of friends. If there is a hobby you've always wanted to involve yourself with, see if family can watch the kids once a week and do something for yourself. Talk to people when your out and just make friendly conversation. I don't know what your religious beliefs are but if you go to church try to go to the lady's group meetings, they are usually held at other church members houses and I think that's a great way to get to know people and make friends.

Good luck! Just be patient.

Answer 6

My husband and I have recently started going to the bar once a week and before we were at home with the kids every night he got home from work and i was tired of being in the house all day too with no one to talk to. Well now we have lots of friends and they come over and play cards if we cant make it out that weekend!! Try a night out!! It helped us!!!!

Answer 7

Don't get depressed. You'll find out that there's a lot of people that you do click with. The problem these days, is that people don't have much time for anything , even friendships. I have just a few friends that I hardly ever see and seldom have a social connection with. Maybe you have more friends than you realize. True friends are the best, and you'll know who they are.

Answer 8

Why don't you start a all female group thing at your home were you invite some Friends over for anything and just talk about anything. You should start at your children school like the PTA were you'll have something in common with the rest of the parents (YOUR CHILDREN) Just don't force yourself to make Friends with someone let it just come natural.

Answer 9

I'd simply say follow what everyone else said above, and don't give up. Being a parent is a blessing, so don't get frustrated with them! I'll be your friend!

And just a question - is your hair really pink, or did you just do that on your avatar for the fun of it?!


LC

Answer 10

well first of all you shouldn't think so negative and maybe try calling some old friends up just for lunch or something make it a habit to have lunch ones a week with some old friend even if it is just to catch up and tell them to bring a friend or something to that and start talking to her friend get to know her too.