feeling sad...best joke gets 10 points!?

Question

Me and my bf have been apart for a couple of days because of snowdays! I want to see him, and im bored! someone give me a great joke to make me laugh, the one that makes me laugh so much that i cry, i will choose!

im 12!!!!!

Answer 1

LOL, I like all of the jokes. But heres one-

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time you were unfaithful to me, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them"



An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"



A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replies "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTTWEILER "JESUS".



A kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts at the end of the year from her students. A little girl who's daddy owned a meat shop, came up to the teacher, and handed her a box. The teacher held the box above her head, and shook it. Then she said, "I bet it's some beef jerky."
"Why, yes!" The little girl exclaimed. "How did you know?"
"Just a lucky guess..." The teacher replied
Then a little boy who's daddy owned a sweet's shop, came up to the teacher and handed her a box. The teacher held it above her head, shook it and said, "I bet it's some sweets!"
"Yes it is! How did you know?" The boy asked.
"A lucky guess..." The teacher said.
Then a third little boy came up to the teacher. His daddy owned a
liquor store. The little boy handed the teacher a box, and as the
teacher went to hold the box above her head, she noticed it was
leaking. She let a drop fall on her finger, and she tasted it.
"It's wine, isn't it?"
"No." The little boy said with a grin on his face.
So the teacher let a few more drops fall on her finger, and tasted it
again. "It champagne isn't it?"
"No." The little boy said with his grin getting bigger.
"Alright." The teacher said. "I give up. What is it?"
The little boy then shouted... "IT'S A PUPPY!"




Three guys die and go to heaven, and God tells them, "You will each get a vehicle depending on how often you cheated on your wife." So the first guy says, "Never." and gets a minivan. The second guy says, "Sometimes." and gets a golf cart. The third guy admits, "More than I should have." and gets a motor scooter. Suddenly, the fisrt guy starts sobbing and says, "I just saw my wife in rollerblades."



A philosophy professor stood before his class. He picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.
"The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

But then a student took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a can of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is: That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.



In a small town in England, there is a small store. And in the store is a magic Mirror of Truth. If you go up to it and tell the truth, you get a shiny piece of gold. But if you lie, you disappear.
A very ugly brunette came in, stood in front of the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think I am the prettiest woman in all of England!" And poof, she disappeared.
Next came a fat, redhead. She stood before the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think I am the prettiest woman in all of England." Poof! She disappeared!
Then a drop-dead gorgeous Blonde came into the store. She stood before the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think..." Poof! She disappeared.



Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.

"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" asks St. Peter.

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children."

The last guy replies. "I would like to hear them say.... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!



A man was riding in his car when a patrolman pulled him over and said, "You've just won $5,000 for wearing your seatbelt in a safety competition. What are you going to do with the money?"
And the guy said, "Well, I guess I'll go to driving school and get my drivers' license."
Then his wife, who was sitting beside him said, "Don't listen to him. He's always cocky when he's drunk."
Suddenly a guy popped up from the backseat and said, " I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
Soon came a knock from the trunk, and a voice said in Spanish, " Are we over the border yet?"



An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady limping slightly with a cane slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and as the boy and his father watched, small circles of light with numbers lighted up above the wall. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction, and then the walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."



One day a blonde and a brunette were watching the 6:00 evening news. On the news was a boy at the top of a building getting ready to jump. The blonde says out loud "I don't think he will jump."
The brunette responds by saying "I'll bet you $5 he will jump."
"Well I bet you $50 he won't jump," the blonde retorts.
"You're on!!" says the brunette.
After some time the boy finally jumps. The blonde pays up. As the brunette is walking out the door she turns around and says "I can't take this money from you. I saw the whole thing on the 5:00 evening news."
The blonde says "So did I, but I didn't think he would do it again."



There were three construction workers working high on a skyscraper. During a lunch break, the 1st guy opened his lunchbox and said, "Yech, ham! Next time I get ham I am gonna jump off this building!"
The 2nd guy opened his lunchbox and said, "Yech, tuna! Next time I get tuna, I'm gonna jump off this building!"
The 3rd guy opened his lunchbox and said, "Yech, baloney! The next time I get baloney, I'm gonna jump off this building!"
The next day during lunch, all three workers opened their lunchboxes. The 1st guy got ham. The 2nd guy got tuna. And the 3rd guy got baloney. Without another word, the three men jumped off the building and plummeted to their death.
At the funeral, the mothers of the 1st guy and the 2nd guy were crying and blaming themselves. The mother of the 3rd guy, however, was laughing. "Why are you laughing?" the two mothers asked. "Your son is dead. It was your fault."
"No it wasn't," she explained, "He made his own lunch!"



A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started to discuss the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
Then a third child brought the argument to a close...
"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."



A cop saw a car driving erratically and pulled the driver over. "Sir, I need you to breath in this breathalizer for me," said the policeman.
The guy said, "I can't do that, office. I'm an asthmatic. If I do that, then I'll have a really big asthma attack."
The cop said, "Okay, then I need you to come down to the station with me and we'll do some blood work."
The guy said, "I can't do that either. I'm a hemophiliac. If I do that, then I will bleed to death."
The cop said, "Fine. Then I need a urine sample from you."
The guy replied, "I can't do that either. I'm diabetic. If I do that then my sugar will get REALLY LOW and I may die."
The cop then said, "Okay, okay! Then I need you to step out of the car and walk this white line."
The guy said, "Sorry, but I can't do that either."
The frustrated cop said, "Why not!?"
The guy said, "Because I'm drunk."



These two really dumb guys were walking along the beach one day. They had never been to a beach before and they were in absolute awe of all the seagulls. As they looked up in amazement, one of the birds took a dump on one dumb guy's head. "Oh my goodness," said the other. "I'll run back to the car and get some toilet paper!"

"Don't bother," said the splattered one, "I kinda think he'll be gone by the time you get back!"



Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl. The first man said, "I think it's WOOMB."

The second replied, "No, it must be WOOOOMBH."

The third said, "You both have it wrong -- it's WOOM."

The fourth stated, "No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB."

At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, "Look. It's WOMB. That's it, that's all there is to it." Then she left.

Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, "Well. I don't know. A young girl like that. I don't see how she could know. I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart!"



A man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories.

A week later, the man was back at the doctor's complaining that his constipation had gotten worse, not better.

The doctor asked, "Have you been taking the suppositories?"

"What do you think I've been doing," said the fellow, "Shoving them up my butt?"



A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, his wife enters with frying pan and smashes him over the head with it.
Man: "What was that for?"
Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on it?"
Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on."
The wife was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him.
Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head.
Man: "What's that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called."



Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.



A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence from the following words:
1. Deduct
2. Defense
3. Defeat
Nobody could think of a sentence. And then the dumbest kid in the class raised his hand and said, "I can do that - 'Dee duck jumped over dee fence and hurt dee feet.'"



Sven and Ole worked together, and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.

Asked his occupation, Ole said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he said.

Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.

When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained: panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor.

"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls on it and says, "Yep, diesel fitter."



Two Irishmen were in a lifeboat after their craft sank in a storm. After hours of floating aimlessly, one spotted an old lamp in the boat. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"

That's all I have...ENJOY!!! Hope ya feel better!!!!!!!

Answer 2

A horse sitting on the top of the bar. This guy is obtainable in and asks what's up with that horse he looke extremely bored. Bartender says he basically sits there like that so if all people could make him snort i visit offer loose drinks. the guy is going down and wispers interior the ear of the pony and the pony incredibly starts off giggling. the guy drinks his 3 loose drinks and leaves. A month later this comparable guy is obtainable in and the bartender says that dam horse basically won't provide up giggling. it is your fault. the guy says do you p.c. him to sop laughint. you've got each and all of the loose dirinks you p.c. for the subsequent six months. the guy is going down and motions for the pony to stick to him and then a cuple of minutes later the guy comes back and sits down and after a mutually as the pony comes back finding very unhappy or perhaps crying. The bar soft says you probably did no longer could flow that a strategies yet tell me what did you assert to make him snort. I informed the pony I had a dick bigger than his. ok the bar soft says i will understan why he would snort at that. Now tell me why he's so unhappy now. I proved it to him.

Answer 3

Here's some jokes to cheer u up...

Hidden Clues...

One day an employee sends a letter to
his boss asking
for an increase in his salary!!!



Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing
mo$t
de$perately. I think you $hould be
under$tanding of
the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given
$o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your
company. I am $ure
you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond
$oon.



Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh


The next day, the employee received
this letter of
reply:


Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very
hard. NOwadays,
NOthing much has changed. You must
have NOticed that
our company is NOt doing NOticeably
well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the
world`s leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United
States may go
into aNOther recession. After the
NOvember
presidential elections things may turn
bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You
kNOw what I mean.


Yours truly,


Manager

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The Lover's Diary

HER DIARY

Saturday night...

I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you, too.

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted no thing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

I decided that I could not take it anymore and to confront him with the situation, but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY

Today the Yankees lost... But at least I got laid :-)

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Prince n Princess Story...

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through
no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an
evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only
one word each year. However, he could save up
the words so that if he did not speak for a whole
year, then the following year he was allowed to
speak two words. (This was before the time of
letter writing or sign language.)
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips,
golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain
from speaking for two whole years so that he could
look at her and say "my darling".
But at the end of the two years he wished to tell
her that he loved her.
Because of this he waited three more years
without speaking
(bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But at the end of these five years he realized that
he had to ask her to marry him.
So he waited ANOTHER four years without
speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy
knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded
and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden
the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap,
knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said
huskily,
"My darling,I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair
behind a dainty ear,
opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting
her ruby lips, said:
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scroll down.............

3 hours ago
Well, guess what she said ..........

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.......come on, guess what could she have

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said..............

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...........well, she said..............

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"Pardon??''

=============================

::There goes another 9 Yearx...::

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Well.. this joke isnt really suitable for kids under 13..
but its kinda funny..

A blond guy, a brunnette guy and a red head guy
take their girlfriends on a triple date to a
restaurant. The brunnette guy say to his
wife, "Pass the honey, honey!" She says ''awww
your so sweet!'' The red head thinks ''Man that guys
good'', so he says to his girlfriend, "Pass the
sugar, sugar!" Shes says ''Awww I love you!'' The
blond guy thinks ''wow they are good'', so he says
to his girlfriend, "Pass the pork, pig!"
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Tht'x alL fro me..
-EnJoY-

Answer 4

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!



Here is one more I thought you would like..............

Just a reminder........

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Answer 5

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.

He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Answer 6

A blonde walks into an eletronics store. She goes to the cashier and asks to by that tv, the cashier responds: "Sorry, we dont sell to blondes." So she goes out and dyes her hair brown, and goes back and asks the same question. And again, the cashier responds, "Sorry, we dont sell to blondes"
Frustrated, she goes and dyes her hair red and returns to the store and again asks to buy the tv, but the cashier replies "Sorry, we dont sell to blondes." so she finally dyes her hair black and goes in to the eletronics store and asks to buy that tv, and the cashier still replies "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." So she finally asks him, "How do you know I'm blonde?" and he answers "because thats a microwave, not a tv!"

Answer 7

Heres a few for you:

What did the snail say who climbed on the back of a turtle?

WOOOHOOOO!!!

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once there was a little girl and a little boy who every day saw each other at the sand box and one day it was 120 degrees so they took their close off and the boy look at the girl and says whats that she says "i dunno" then the girl look down at the boy and says whats that the boy says "I dunno" so they decide to go home and ask their parents about their parts.
so the boy goes home and says dad whats is this the dad answers that is your car and you should always park it in other girls garages he says ok.
so the girl get home and says mom what is is this and the mom says that is your garage and u better not let any boy park their cars in there.
The nexted day the girl comes home to her mom with blood on her hands. Her mom immeadiately asks her where all the blood came from, and the little girl says. Oh, mommy a boy tried to park his car in my garage so i ripped of his back tires!

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how did you know?" The drunk replied, "Because you are UGLY!"

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A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again."
"Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

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A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are to small.
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger.''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should grow over a couple of years,'' he answers.

''How do you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your buttt!'''

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A young Indian asked his dad "dad how did you come up with my name?"
His dad replied "As soon as a baby is born the father walks out of the tepee and looks for a sign as to what to name the child. for example when your sister was born I walked out and saw a doe grazing in the field so she was named grazing doe. And when your brother was born I walked out and saw an eagle flying overhead so he was named flying eagle. Why do you ask Two Dogs Humping?"

Answer 8

~not really a joke but

i wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself

~how do you kill a blonde
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
how do you kill her blonde sister
tell her to go down there and do CPR

~Your mama is so fat that when god said let their be light he had to ask her to move


hope they helped!
cheer up:-)

Answer 9

ok snowdays I am going to guess your a teenager and the jokes i know are not ok for kids under the age of 40

Answer 10

ur jsut a little young to have a bf
unless you mean best friend, not boyfriend

Answer 11

there was two peanuts walking down the street.

one was assaulted

*get it assaulted(a salted)hahahahaha*