bored!!! can ur please me??

Question

i'm very bored
can anyone give me riddle that will shake off my whole body?

Answer 1

Well.. sorry.. i dun have any riddle for ya.. but i have some jokes..

---1st---
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.

He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
---2nd---
Hidden Clues...

One day an employee sends a letter to
his boss asking
for an increase in his salary!!!



Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing
mo$t
de$perately. I think you $hould be
under$tanding of
the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given
$o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your
company. I am $ure
you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond
$oon.



Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh


The next day, the employee received
this letter of
reply:


Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very
hard. NOwadays,
NOthing much has changed. You must
have NOticed that
our company is NOt doing NOticeably
well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the
world`s leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United
States may go
into aNOther recession. After the
NOvember
presidential elections things may turn
bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You
kNOw what I mean.


Yours truly,


Manager

--------3rd----------------------...
The Lover's Diary

HER DIARY

Saturday night...

I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you, too.

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted no thing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

I decided that I could not take it anymore and to confront him with the situation, but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY

Today the Yankees lost... But at least I got laid :-)

----------4th--------------------...
Prince n Princess Story...

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through
no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an
evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only
one word each year. However, he could save up
the words so that if he did not speak for a whole
year, then the following year he was allowed to
speak two words. (This was before the time of
letter writing or sign language.)
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips,
golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain
from speaking for two whole years so that he could
look at her and say "my darling".
But at the end of the two years he wished to tell
her that he loved her.
Because of this he waited three more years
without speaking
(bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But at the end of these five years he realized that
he had to ask her to marry him.
So he waited ANOTHER four years without
speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy
knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded
and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden
the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap,
knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said
huskily,
"My darling,I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair
behind a dainty ear,
opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting
her ruby lips, said:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
scroll down.............

Well, guess what she said ..........

.

.

.......come on, guess what could she have


.

.

.

said..............

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


.

...........well, she said..............


.


.

.

.

.

.



.

.

.

.


"Pardon??''

=============================

::There goes another 9 Yearx...::

-----------5th-------------------...
Well.. this joke isnt really suitable for kids under 13..
but its kinda funny..

A blond guy, a brunnette guy and a red head guy
take their girlfriends on a triple date to a
restaurant. The brunnette guy say to his
wife, "Pass the honey, honey!" She says ''awww
your so sweet!'' The red head thinks ''Man that guys
good'', so he says to his girlfriend, "Pass the
sugar, sugar!" Shes says ''Awww I love you!'' The
blond guy thinks ''wow they are good'', so he says
to his girlfriend, "Pass the pork, pig!"
-----------END-------------------...

Tht'x alL fro me..
-EnJoY-

Answer 2

What is more powerful than God, more evil than the devil, needed by the content, and owned by needy?

Answer 3

What can surround you at anytime but goes away once its name is said???