In the past 2 weeks, I experienced so many things. My ex-husband died of cancer last week. My boss called me a "homeless boss" yesterday over a tiny stain on my blazer. Just being stressed from work. Having PMS (I never get that many mood swings in my life). My ex's family is demanding money so that can save one of their children's butt (he wrote a bad check). The pressure of losing the weight before going on vacation (I lost weight but I feel if I don't reach my goal, I would be a failure). My regular family issues. My current boyfriend and I fighting for no reason. I don't know... I just can't help but cry every few minutes. I got upset that I couldn't finish my workout today, let alone if nothing goes right at work.
I never feel this low in my entire life and it seems no matter how much I scream and shout, no one will listen. I tried to tell my boyfriend but we fought instead. I just need help. I really feel like crying again this very moment.
2007-02-15 12:21:35 · 13 answers · asked by Bibi 3 in Health ➔ Other - Health
A few things about me... I'm turning 25 in May. I got married when I was 19 and left him at 21 (but the divorce was final last year after he finally decided to cooroporate). Had to leave him because I felt I need to be by myself and learn more about me (not to mention things weren't right between us at all). He and I became close the last few months up to his death last week.
I started working out early last month to finally be in shape. I currently lost 12 pounds but still felt that if I don't reach 160 or lower (I'm 5'7") before going on vacation, I would be a failure.
I really love my boyfriend but yesterday I was very moody and really needed someone to talk to.
As for my boss, well she's just a (rhymes with witch).
2007-02-15 13:10:02 · update #1
Sounds like you need to get some perspective on your life. I gotta say, your trouble don't seem like that big of a deal. The problem is that they're all piling up at one time. You can only deal with one situation at a time. Let go of what your boss said - just let it go. Tell your ex's family where to get off the train. You're not under any obligation to them any more. It's all this stress that you're allowing to get to you that is causing you and your BF to argue. Put your troubles aside, go to a day spa, get your hair done and just forget about it all for a bit. Regain some perspective on this situation and take control of it!!
2007-02-15 12:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss. Even though you were divorced does not mean that you stop caring about him. Sounds like you really need to step back read what you just wrote, what would you tell your best friend to do in this situation? Take time for yourself everyday. Let your ex's family take care of their business a bad check their kid wrote is not your problem. You didn't say your age, are you going through the change. You are taking on too much and expecting too much of yourself... Relax honey, stop being so hard on yourself.. here is a suggestion, write it all out on paper, everything you are feeling then forget it... You are trying to take on the world... after you have written down all that is bothering you and put it aside then make a separate book... set some small goals start making yourself a priority... if you are a religious person and believe in God after you have written down all of your feelings put it in a box for God to do, he will get to it in his time, and forget it... Live in the present, only for this second, minute, hour, day, week, month year. Live in the present, yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift that is why they call it the present, there is no sense worrying about something that you cannot control. Good luck sweetie, God bless and put angels on your pillows. You can do it! I have faith in you.
2007-02-15 12:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by fluffyflo_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are having a simple case of "I try to take just one day at a time, but lately, several dyas have attacked me at once!" We all get the blues sometimes when we feel overwhelmed. Resolve one issue at a time and only what you CAN resolve...feel sad, grieve, over your ex husband (apparently you didn't grieve him the first time he died, when you divorced?). Feel sorry for your boss--he's pathetic. Relax each night when you come home from work and do something just for you to transistion from work to home and you won't stress so much about work, or find a less stressful job. See a docotr about getting off the hormonal roller coaster--there are meds to help with whatever is causing the mood swings. If you are not responsible for this other child's bad check, you need to remind yourself that you are not responsible--it is THEIR problem, not yours. All these stressors are not condusive TO losing weight and it seems to me the only one pressuring you about losing it is you--do you really need to lose it? You and your boyfriend could be fighting because of all these stressors or maybe he's jealouos because you ARE grieving you ex instead of being happy with the relationship you have? Take a deep breath...a lot of this stuff is somone else's problem and you are making it yours--your choice. Now choose to STOP making it your choice and DO FOR YOU for a change...do what makes YOU happy, not making everyone around you happy. Choose your attitude. And if you still feel like you need to scream and cry, IM me and vent here...sometimes just screaming and crying is a good release and you will feel better and regroup and get back in that saddle and ride again proudly....
2007-02-15 12:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by beetlejuice49423 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, take a deep breath and relax for a minute. You need to prioritize your tasks. You yourself know what is important to YOU and what is not. OK, the death of you ex-husband is tragic, but he was your ex and you shouldn't have to be bothered with giving money to his family for something someone else did. Tell them to use there own money. As for you boss, well all bosses are asses at times and you having a bad day just magnified your feelings at that present moment. Take it in stride, smile and say yes I was saving some of my lunch for later. As for the weight loss, my feeling on that is you need to love yourself before you worry about what anybody else thinks. Now as for you current boyfriend, if he can not lend a shoulder or ear for you maybe you need to reexamine whether or not he is needed in your life at the present moment. Yes you may be fighting due to your low self esteem, but he also needs to understand what is going on in your life. I wish I could talk to you and help you though this but we know how that goes, I wish you luck and smile you deserve better and you will shine in the end.
2007-02-15 12:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by jcmc3056 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your ex's family to worry about their own money. Take those little wipes to work in case you get a stain (the ones Kelly Ripa does commercials for). Exercise. Eat right. Those will help you lose weight and lose stress. Go get medication if all of this doesn't work.
2007-02-15 12:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. 1 - tell your boyfriend to shape up or ship out.
No. 2 - It is not your responsibility to save your ex family's son - he has to stand on his own two feet.
No. 3 - Don't stress about your weight - buy the next dress size up and feel comfortable - worry about that AFTER the holiday.
No. 4 - Take time out and look after you!
2007-02-15 12:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by jammer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would those who have been through a similar emotional crisis in life please raise your hand?...... Looks like there's quite a few of us, Hun. Today is almost over. Get through it and keep doing it. Eventually, it gets better. We all like to enjoy life.....but sometimes, you just have to survive. I'm glad you're talking to us. I hope you have, (or will find) someone you can sit down with who knows how to listen. A councilor may be of great benefit and may assess your possible need for medication, (maby just for a while). I'll mention you when I talk to The Man tonight.
2007-02-15 12:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by Rudy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely talk to your doctor, there could be a medical reason for your mood swings. If anything he/she might be able to give you ideas on how to 'de-stress' yourself.
Try talking to your boyfriend again...or write him a letter explaining how you've been feeling.
As for your boss, ignore the rude remarks...and tell your ex's family to get the money themselves.
And congrats on losing weight! Good luck with everything
2007-02-15 12:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lucy_Fir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you don't need help--you need a vacation!
The hell with your boss and your boyfriend and your workout--you need to take time for YOU!!!
Now get yourself to a spa and spend the whole day there--after that drink martini's til you pass out and you'll feel much better in a couple of days after the hangover wears off.
God bless and Good luck, sweetie!
2007-02-15 12:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex is your past. If the boyfriend won't help you through this, he should be history, too. A doctor can give you an anti-depressent to 'tide you over', but you will have to solve the issues.
Think loving thoughts about everyone, including yourself. Good luck.
2007-02-15 12:26:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋