Only clean chat is tolerated. Is it a good idea to see who step daughter is associating with or is it simply 'just not right'?
2007-02-15 12:21:02 · 10 answers · asked by uverhaff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for the answers, keep them coming. She actually added me to her convos and then knew that they had added me to their msn. They know who I am and talk to me as me. She knows I chat with them and is fine with it. So there is no dishonesty going on between any of us. However, step daughters grand parents (on her mothers side) strongly object because 'what might people think? A 35 year old talking to a 15 year old. Should I stand fast and keep chatting, or should I back away?
2007-02-15 12:33:53 · update #1
You sound like a great Mom. I wonder why you have a question about this so long as your step daugther doesn't. It's not like your spying on her behind her back. Don't worry what anyone else thinks, this is between you and your step dughter.
2007-02-16 02:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have no idea how old your SD is, but if you are impersonating her you could really betray her trust that way. Perhaps there are other ways to get to 'know' her friends? Do you have a reason to mistrust them or her? My stepdaughter 'fell in love' puppy love with a boy in her circle of friends almost completely through conversations on the cell phone. We had no idea, we had no reason to mistrust her, she had simply gone BOY CRAZY....but if you think your SD might be facing some of those types of 'friends' then perhaps sneaky might be the best way to gauge the situation. I'd rather have betrayed my child's trust and protected her from her 'friend' who was simply a predator looking for girls to seduce. She would have never forgiven me till she had kids of her own, but hey, it would have been worth the price she paid in heartache....
2007-02-15 12:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably awkward having a stepmom talking to a stepdaughter's friends on MSN. I mean, a girl is a girl, sometimes they just don't like parents getting in their social life. I wouldn't like my Mom talking to my friends because she'll spill the MOST embarrassing stuff, and baby pictures.
2007-02-15 12:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It's fine to be friendly and have conversation with your stepdaughter's friends when they are in your house, but chatting with her friends on MSN is like reading her journal: it's a flagrant breach of privacy, and ultimately. I'm sure your intentions are good, but reserve judgment for when her friends are around, and don't chat with them online.
2007-02-15 12:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Evangeline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! do not do it. pretend you were the daughter and your step mom or mom pried into your privacy life like that. how would you feel? it's good that you're concerned but try to get what you want to know in a different way. you might just end up ruining her life(temporarily)
2007-02-15 12:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by peachyfuzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do her mothers parents matter to you? you are just being part of your step daughters life and that's the underlying factor here. the grandparents need to stay out of it. if she allows you to talk to them then chat it up but remember they are her friends not yours that could become a problem in things like if they talk to you more then her. be careful but stay involved in her life know her friends.
2007-02-15 13:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by Charlee S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she will hate it (unless she's more openminded than most). If you want to see who your daughter is associating with, tell her that she can invite them over any time and offer to spring for pizza and pop. She will like that more than you talking to her friends. Instant messaging treads the thin line of parenting and befriending. My mom rarely talks to my friends on aim, but they come over quite a bit, and she feeds us!
2007-02-15 12:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Matia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! That is not a good idea! Let your daughter learn from her own mistakes! She will really, honestly despise you if you creep into her personal life and if she was clean before--she won't be anymore just because of you.
2007-02-15 12:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes and no. Yes because it is good that you are checking on your step-daughter, and no because it is a invasion of privacy. Will you pretend to be her? Will you be yourself?
2007-02-15 12:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by Apfel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is a good idea. you can never be too sure out there in today's society who is on the internet. you are not invading her privacy, you are just being a responsible and caring parent.
2007-02-15 12:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋