Help! My son will not do the daycare at the gym!?

Question

I recently joined a gym with a daycare on site. I have been trying to
go, but my son wo is 17 months will not do the daycare.
The first day I took him they had to come and get me because they
couldn't get him to calm down. The second time he cried the whole half
an hour it took me to tan. I thought if I just do little bits at a time, it would get him used to it easier.
Then today I attempted once more, and didn't even make it past the
double doors before the tears and the clinging started! I just left,
after not being able to calm him down. They girls in there are nice
but very young, they say just to leave him and let him cry it out, but
I can't bring myself to do that!
Any advice would be helpful, I've already paid in advance so I've
got to figure out something!!

Answer 1

He has separation anxiety and he needs to get over it, however he's only 17 months and you need to go slowly. Go with him and spend 10 minutes there, walk around even if he's at your shirt tail and leave with him, then go again and play a bit with the other children maybe for 20 minutes,leave with him and go again and to the same, include him in the play, once he gets comfortable leave for your tanning, if he cries let the girls calm him. He will get the hang of it, just need patience.

Answer 2

Start with spending the whole time in the nursery with him - maybe 1/2 hour. Gradually introduce leaving for a few minutes - to go to the bathroom or step outside where he can still see you. See if you can reduce the time with you spend with him bit by bit.

If all else fails, you may need to buy a jogger stroller and some workout tapes. Some kids just don't do well at such a young age. My son didn't separate well until he was almost 4. Once he did, however, he ran off and never looked back. Since then, he has been completely at ease in any new situation.

It's best to make your son feel completely safe at this time in his life and not force separation. There is time for that later. You need him to internalize the safe feeling he gets from you so later he will have it in himself. It seems like a long time now, but it is worth the time investment, believe me.

Answer 3

if u have already paid get ur moneys worth. go a little ahead of time and spend a little time with him and the daycare providers. let him see that u like these girls. He is just really attached to u and then u are leaving him with "strangers". Another part of me is saying that these girls might not know what they are doing. If u go frequently enough he will get used to it but keep in mind in the day care world it normally takes a screaming child a few weeks to become adjusted. letting him cry it out is the best thing. if u come back every time he acts that way he thinks every time he acts that way mommy will appear

Answer 4

Your initial idea of trying short amounts first was probably the best bet. But perhaps you need to start with smaller increments. Try 10 or 15 minutes to start. When he seems to be coping, move up some amount (say 5 or 10 minutes).

When you drop him off, give him a hug and tell him you will be back. Then leave in full sight, so he doesn't feel like you snuck away. Then come back to get him, and cuddle and reassure him then. Gradually, he will learn to trust that you are coming back.

It is difficult, but the children will adjust. And they need to learn to trust that you are not abandoning them, that you will be back. It will make it much easier on him if you do it now rather than wait until he is starting school. Trust me.

Answer 5

Tell him you love him, reassure him you'll be back in a little while and then just go. Sometimes the children sense that you have separation anxiety and they act on it. They will cry and scream because it's a new environment, but after a few times, the child should get used to it. Rather than keeping his/her stay at the daycare short, leave him/her there for awhile occassionally. But, don't make a big deal about coming and going...that only makes it worse and heightens the fear in the child.

Answer 6

~ Stay with him and settle him into the playroom for 5 minutes or so.
~ Bring his cup, a blanket, a small toy.
~ Get a friend who has a small child to come with you so he has a familiar playmate.
~ Join a mothers group or play group to ease his anxiety when you are with others and may step out for a minute.
Hes at stranger anxiety stage and may take a month or two to outgrow it.

Answer 7

Stay in the day care for him for a few hours, let him know that it's a safe place. Slowly reduce the time you spend there inside with him and introduce him to the staff there.

Answer 8

Bring a new toy with you or his favorite toy.
Are you giong to late in the day?
Can you leave him with someone like your husband while you go.
You need to encourage the people that work there to help you through this, tha tis part of their job, they have to help him feel comfortable and not like he is among strangers. They should give him a warm welcome and hug him and play with him initially, if they are not willing to work with you complaint o management and say you would liek to cancel your membership.

Answer 9

kids are manipulative...bottom line. You need to realize that he is crying and clinging because it works...stop letting him make a big deal out of it.After a few times, he will see that you come back and that his fits arent working. Buy him something new, and dont let him have it til you drop him off...and that can be his "toy" or security thing that he has while you are gone. Just do your best not to "oh, baby, im so sorry mommy has to go" kind of thing. The less of the deal you make of it, so will he eventually.
#1 thing to remember is that you sweet little baby son is smart enough to manipulate you-and hes succeeding!

Answer 10

if he is 17 months old you shpuld wait until he is older til he's ready for daycare, some children under 3 years old feel un comfortable in unusual and unknown environments, especially if the mom or dad is not there with them. maybe you should wait until he's older and find a different routine for excersizing and tanning