If you were to make up your own church to get gain, how would you do it?

Question

My seminary teacher, about a year ago asked me this same question, at the time I said that I would say "If you join my church, I'll make all of your wildest fantasies come true."

I think, in addition to this, I would preach an "alternative" translation of Genesis 28:22 (among other scriptures) in which instead of a tenth, my church members would be commanded to give an eighth.

At that point, I would essentially set up a pyramid scam, in which I would take ten percent of the money that I take in and make the smartest contributors' wildest dreams come true. I would take the remaining two and a half percent for myself and hope that the intellectually inferior would forget the promise that I made to them.

I just want to know how you would do it.

To all:

I would never actually consider doing this, I just wanted to expand on my seminary teacher's question and hear your thoughts in a completely facetious way. I'm not one for a lake of fire and brimstone.

Answer 1

If the risk of going to hell is small, but the suffering is infinite....wouldn't you be safer sending me $5,000 to learn how not to go to hell?

$5,000 is a finite number. The chance, no matter how small, of going to hell if you DON'T give me $5,000, and recieving infinite pain as a consequence, results in the possibility of infinite pain. Infinity multiplied by ANY number, no matter how small (your chance of going to hell) is still infinity.

Therefore......isn't it worth a finite sacrifice of $5,000 to ensure that you don't risk inifnity in hell?

E-mail me for mailing instructions, and learn how to avoid eternal damnation in hell. It's so simple even a child could do it, and it takes only 8 minutes a day.....

LEARN MORE...and SAVE YOUR ETERNAL SOUL for a mere $5,000.

Please note....that if you were in hell for only 100 years of punishment.....that would come to $50 a year, in other words about 4 dollars a month.

Isn't a 4 dollar a month investment worth not going to hell????

You'll be glad you did!!!

Answer 2

You can't come out as being that fake. You have to fulfill a deeper need for people. Give them answers they want to hear! There are scriptures with some kind of a promise of Paradise- read them first. Start small, with a few of your friends to back you up (and make a deal to split the profits!) and start holding meetings. Have your friends go out and a big part is "word of mouth." They need to talk about how positive a church it is, and all the questions about life were answered. And do little miracles or readings where you "heal" and "see" dead people.

As sad as it is, people need false hope. So lie- tell them you know what happens when we die, we are never alone, for a few dollars you will pray for them. And your prayers are all powerful, because you have a feeling, a sight that they can not have and that you are blessed.

As sad as it is, you need to play on people's insecurities and fears. Tell them you have all the answers and to not be afraid.

lol- wow. maybe I will do this myself. But of course I would include your brilliant pyramid scheme to increase my profits!!

I had something like this last semester in school. It was great to see people's ideas.

Answer 3

First., learn some magic tricks that you may convince many that it is a miracle. Oftentimes the miracle of making money and healing the sick do the best tricks. Then in the middle of it all, start injecting things that may put people into a lot of fear or damnations. Once people are afraid, that is the time you can make whatever scam you want to do. Just make it short live from one place to another. Some clever mind will see it at once and envy might push them to expose you or get a franchise from you. Just don't end your life like the WACO incident.

Answer 4

I would heavily study the techniques of L. Ron Hubbard and other people who have spawned financially successful religious groups. I'd research the people who've already done it, and find out how they were able to make it work. However, in reality, I would have no desire to do such a thing.

Answer 5

Oddly enough a friend of mine is trying to sell me on an "alternate religion" (even though I hold to being more spirital than religious). His take is that God and Lucifer were equal parts (light and darkness) of creation force. Mankind came to worship light (lucifer) through sun cults and such and fear darkness (God). Out of jealousy God took two ppl (Adam/Eve) aside and made them worship only Him, and denied them "knowledge". Lucifer saw this was wrong and told them they were entitled to knowledge. God then kicked them out. Then later flooded the planet out of jealousy. Even the bible doesnt assign blame to Lucifer for much chaos (Job-with God's permission and revelation-which is God's point of view) only his original sin against God... What do you think?
I think you are well on your way to your own church!

Answer 6

I wouldn't. I have to give an answer to God on the day of Judgment for everything I think, say, or do. There is no way I want that against me.

Answer 7

I'd say if you DONT join my church and believe in me, you will burn for eternity

hey.... i think thats already been taken though.

And then just pass around a collection bowl , whoever doesn't put enough money in is also going to burn for eternity. that'll scare the pants off of them!

Answer 8

I would buy all the gummy bears in the world and ransom them for about $5 each to anyone who had been fasting.
P.S. (On Fast Sunday, ha ha).

Answer 9

Go get a tape of Eddie Long this should give you more than you will ever need to be a big time pimp.

Answer 10

Sounds good, take a belief someone already has, change it and say your the one with the real truth
Like this guy: (Claims he's Jesus and getting rich off of it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=037HvQ1TyGM