my two year old has been kicked out of 2 day cares, too aggressive what do you do?

Question

The child is a girl. She has a older sister who talks alot but good every way you can be. She gets upset wehn people take things awy from her. She struck a child in the head with a cup. And pinches teachers when they try to take things away from her! They say they dont have the time to put into her> What ever that means, she does not act out at home.

Answer 1

Where do you live?
I ask because I hear things like this all the time. I have worked as a consultant to child Care Center for the last 12 years. I recently stopped as I am tired of this very thing.
Interview the child care providers and ask them about what they do for discipline and what there experiences are and what the philosophy as far as spending time with children.
Make sure they tell you straight up. Ask how long they spend with any behavior issues before they dismiss a child of her age. If they say a few days or 2 weeks then don't give them your time or money. If they say as long as it takes that is what you want.
She sounds like a Two year old and not anything unusual. If they can't put time into her then you don't want her there either.
I am making the assumption that she is in a center based care like a Kindercare or a La Petite. You may do better with a small in-home type of arrangement.
Also if you have a childcare resource and referral center call them and let them know what is happening. They may be able to point you in the right direction for where you live.
I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

First and foremost if they don't have the time they are WAY too busyto take care of her. That's why they have strict child to adult ratios. She might just need a smaller group. She could feel like she's in competition for attention. If the caregivers are that busy who's to say they aren't missing things such as the other kids taking things from her. More time would give them a better chance to delelope a good relationship with her and gain some play time and respect. If the other teachers were only there to tell her what to do and act if there was already trouble I could see it turning into a problem. When you look for a new daycare explain that others stated right out they had no time for her. That way you will get a feel for their acceptance of ability to be patient and show her a better way to behave. If they get that doubting look keep searching a little extra drive is worth her happiness and your peace of mind.

Answer 3

What is your 2 year old doing?? (Biting, hitting, pushing)...I used to work in child care and if we had an aggressive child (and believe me, we did!) we used the "shadow" techinque...one of the teachers would stay with the aggressive child to ensure that they didn't hurt another child...every time they did show that aggressive behavior we would put them in a time out (as long as the parent was aware that we were using that form of "punishment") or just talk to the child about that behavior. Eventually, the child stopped being so aggressive because they couldn't get away with it. And sometimes we found that the child was being aggressive because they were being "picked on" and didn't know how else to react! As hard as it is to reason w/ a two year old, talk to your child about being aggressive and try to teach him/her better ways to deal with frustration also, let the next child care facility know about your child's tendencies and see if they are willing to work with you guys on it....good luck!

Answer 4

Ahh...there are parents out there like me! I have a now three year old son who acts out in the exact same ways. He does have a genetic condition which predisposes him to hyper active/aggressive behavior. Another difference we have is I have always stayed home with my children but most of that is due to his behavior and knowing that he would never make it in a day care enviroment. Eventually, our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric behavior therapist. It has worked wonders!!! We live in Columbus, Ohio where we have a great Children's Hospital and all the satellites that go with it. We did go through one therapist before we found the one that was right for our family.

Since starting therapy in late November our son has made great strides in his behavior. He wouldn't let us administer medicine, brush his teeth, help pick up his toys, have any patience, throw screaming/hitting/biting temper tantrums if you told him no, hit/kick and bite the staff at the peditricians office. Since we began using the therepist, he is excited about brushing his teeth, lays down and takes his medicine without incident, picks up his toys with help, shows patience and understanding, and listens to the staff at the doctors office and can come and go without incident.

I must emphasize that finding the right therepist in crutial to succeed in helping your child. And also know that the therepy at this age is more for the parents not the child and implimenting techniques to stop meltdowns and aggession before it starts. Make an appointment with the doctor and ask for the referral to a pediatric behavior specialist. If you have any further questions, email me at [e-mail]

Answer 5

I suggest a smaller daycare or a private in home daycare that will work with her and her social issues. You could also try more playgroups with her to get her used to interacting with other children her size. I believe her problems are normal for her age and not a big issue at this point. Some basic/simple redirection is probably all she needs.
Emma... that hurts me, please do not pinch. Maybe a short break at 2 she can understand a short 2 minute "break" away from her friends.
Good luck

Answer 6

You should talk to your son's peds doctor and take what they say in to serious consideration. They may even suggest another doctor for him to talk to. I understand the whole meds debate but my girlfriend was the same way and believe me I love her children but her one son was way pass hyper. And she always said she did not want her child on drugs and one day my sister was watching her children and he took a rope and tried to hang himself. He was only 6 years old when that happened and my girlfriend was a hot mess. Which she had every right her child just tried to kill himself. So she took him to the dr and she broke down and had to put him on meds and now it is almost 5 years and he is doing great. Grades went up, his behavior did a 360 and he is not perfect but no kid is but he is the regular get on your nevers pre teen. But every situation is different so I hope the dr can help you out before it gets to the point that he acts out his threats of killing himself. Because I feel if my sister was not keep such a close eye on him he could of gotten really hurt.

Answer 7

Does he have any siblings at home? If show and he is aggressive with them you need to start teaching him how to stop start with a time out chair and give him rules at home. The daycare you choose should also help you work with this problem. I had the same problem but instead my son was coming home with bit marks from another child. They took they child to the doctor and started working with him. and now the little boy is fine but it took a lot of work from the parents.

Answer 8

apparently you have done something wrong at some point, does she have a father or any positive role model? if shes kicked out of daycare at age 2, i would be afraid for the future. what next, juvenile hall? i think the root of the problem is she needs attention and isnt getting it, try paying for attention to the little monster and see how things go from there. good luck

Answer 9

what r u doing at home? I have been a caregiver for years now and i have had some really bad kids. But i have never kicked them out. (or asked to have them removed) U need to search for someone that is willing to give Ur daughter the attention she needs. u might want to consider a private babysitter. she needs to see that there are consequences for her actions each and Every time she misbehaves

Answer 10

spank her on the butt hard, make it sting, let her cry her eyes out and if she dares rasie her hand to you smack it real hard, this child needs to be 'cut down to size', you were given a perfect new born only 2 years ago and you already turned her into a TYRANT. straighten her out now or trust me a kid will at school.
a well behaved child is a sweet blessing in our lives.