He is 3 and a half. He talks back and whines when asked to do anything, or says 'I can't'. He can't seem to make decisions about anything. I've tried speaking to him quietly and yelling, bribing and punishing, the timeout thing doesn't work anymore. I'm nearly at my wits end. Has anyone experienced something similar?
2007-02-15 10:59:44 · 10 answers · asked by natalie v 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The only thing I can think of is don't beg him or bribe him. The very second he resists you (I mean as soon as the look comes over his face or before he is done saying "no") jump up or swiftly walk over, pick him up and remove him from the room, tell him what he has done wrong and make him stay there for 3 minutes (they say 1 min per year) come back and see if he would like to apologize or complete the task you asked him to complete. If not repeat... In a week or two... really, really hard weeks for you and him, you will see a difference. DONT GIVE IN. Three year olds are masters of manipulation. MASTERS! Repeat after me..."HE IS A MASTER OF MANIPULATION"!
And if you think he is too young to be a master of manipulation next time you are considering going and getting him from his punishment early because of the heart strings repeat the above mantra. LOL.
Good luck!
2007-02-15 11:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by Rackjack 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try a reward system... it could be with stickers, an extra night time story, or t.v. show.
Simply make him look at you, tell him once- firmly and clearly, then go about what you need to be doing. Do not give his talking back and whining any power by responding to it.
If hes having trouble with putting on shoes, coats... offer minimal assistance, or bet he can't do his faster then you and make a game of it.
Do the same with toys and such... grab a basket and say I bet you can't fill your basket faster then me... then simply drop the stuff in the toy box (if that is the system you have). If you are unable to help with messes or tasks ask to complete one at a time.... Johny put your gloves on please, then his jacket, then zip it.
Pick up all the yellow blocks, all the turtles...
Kids dig competition and you can make it fun and get stuff done.
In the end... look at a chart that says what things he should be able to do at his age level and his maturity level and make sure you are not expecting too much from this little person (I sometimes do this with my oldest, thinking she should be doing something when shes not even near ready!)
2007-02-15 20:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every parent experiences this,children will push you to figure out what the limits are. You need to be FIRM and CONSISTENT with your discipline. When your son whines, tell him you don't understand when he talks that way and then stick with that. He will soon learn that whining is NOT the way to get what he wants. Same goes with other aspects...
2007-02-15 19:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Mommy of 6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never bribe! If you don't like to spank, maybe try restricting him from something he likes. Be strong and stick to it though, kids see our weaknesses when it comes to punishment!
Your obviously doing a great job, and remember that this will pass!
2007-02-15 20:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by tori g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the library and get the book about 1,2,3 Magic Discipline. It will work and is full of information about how to deal with this sort of thing.
2007-02-15 19:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Cappy. My three are 23, 21 and 18. I couldn't be more pleased with them.
2007-02-15 19:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by KirksWorld 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking as a young kid that nevers listens to her parents and talks back (even though i'm 14), NEVER EVER BRIBE THEM AND TAKE PRIVELIDGES AWAY LIKE TELEVISION
2007-02-15 19:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by nycholean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he says I can't you should spank him. That's not abusing it's teaching them right from wrong. if the spanking doesn't work punish him and don't let him out of his room and don't let him play with his toys. Kids hate boredom more than anything
2007-02-15 19:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Spare the rod, spoil the child. Worked with me, and my children.
2007-02-15 19:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hes gonna be just like george bush !
2007-02-15 19:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by deadlypope.TNT 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋