I lost my virginity to a friend of mine a few months ago who told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship. I was ok with that at first, but now I want him to be exclusively with me. Please keep in mind that I really really want to be with him. I need a lot of help on this one.
2007-02-15 10:21:20 · 17 answers · asked by eldorado00 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You already gave him the pie, it is to late.
2007-02-15 10:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by Rob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You certainly do need a lot of help. Friends with benefits is the LAMEST, STUPIDEST, most PATHETIC notion going. There is no such thing.
You must have seriously low self esteem to lose your virginity to a guy that told you flat out that he didn't want to be in a relationship with you. You made your bed, in more ways than one, and know you must deal with it.
He isn't going to change, why should he, he gets to nail you and you get - what do you get - oh yeah, you get nothing! You are a piece of meat, nothing, and to demand that he suddenly screw you only - he is going to thank you for a lovely lay and tell you to move on. You can love him all you want, you lowered yourself to less than a prostitute - at least she gets paid.
Move on and learn from this experience. You already lost your virginity, don't lose any more self respect. While you can never recover the virginity, you can salvage your reputation by walking away and refrain from having sex until you are old enough to deal with these issues - at least after high school.
2007-02-15 10:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his friends. Guys talk about girls a lot and usually not withholding any information, so try talking to his friends.
Also, you may just be feeling strongly for this guy because you lost your virginity to him, which is extremely natural. If he told you he does not want to be in a relationship, it probably has not changed since then. However, if the guy talks to you a lot or calls you or something, then he might be interested. It seems to me that your true option here seems to be just to ask the guy if he is interested. You know that is the only way too, but you're scared that he will say no, and that you cannot handle that rejection since you "really really" want to be with him. Its understandable, but if you care for him as much as you say you do, you will risk it.
Besides, most guys like it when girls tell guys how they feel about each other because we have a hard time figuring that stuff out on our own.
Good luck!
2007-02-15 10:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by fernando danger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn something now. You girls seem to forever be trying to change the rules or trying to change what you said or agree upon. If you ever wonder why we cant figure you all out, this is just the reason. You gals seem to forever be changing your mind or wanting to go back upon what you said or agreed upon in the beginning. So often, you ladies dont seem to know what you want and we get worried by that.
Now, you also have to see that this might be what he considers a clue of the last paragraph. He might think that you pay no attention to what he says or wants and that he also cant trust you do ever be for real about what you agree to or say. That would be one thing that would make me veer away or be worried with you. Think of it this way. How many get married then say they changed their mind. That doesnt do any good for the other xz person that took them at their word or trusted them, now does it?
You of course have to have him agree with a chance and if this is violating the set terms, you dont have a right to be upset or offended if he says no.
Ask yourself just what makes you want to change it. What in him makes you wish to do so? Also, ask yourself what you offer that would make him consider you as more. Seriously, you have to examine what you bring to the table that would be worth his considering you for more then sex and some freindship.
2007-02-15 11:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just let him know you are ready for the next step. Let him know that at first you were ok with how things were going but you would like to be in a progressing relationship. He might flip out but better to know what you want and go for it instead of wasting your time on something that isn't right for you. And who knows he might have feelings for you the same way. It is worth a shot good luck.
2007-02-15 10:26:40 · answer #5 · answered by tjnw79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear you want more out of this relationship, but you had an agreement.
And well when a person goes into one of those types of relationships it really is just that (sex)
Usually when you want to end things it really gets kind of messy when the other person is trying to hold on to you
So end this thing and start a real relationship, one were you are not denying or hiding your relationship
Give yourself what you need, someone to compliment you and ditto.
2007-02-15 10:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by Elka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all are you still having relations with your friend? If the answer is yes then I would tell him how you feel about him, that you want to be together, and see how he feels. If you are not still having relations with him, keep it mind it could have been a one night thing, maybe he might think it was a mistake, be ready for these kinds of answers when you tell him how you feel and that you want to be together.
2007-02-15 10:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by nickhawkins21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time if a guy says he only wants to be friends with benefits, that's what it will always stay at, no matter what you try to do. My suggestion would be to find a new guy and start a relationship with him!
2007-02-15 10:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I would try to sit down and have another talk about how he feels about you now that you have been having sex for a few months. But be careful because if he still isn't interested in in a long term relationship, than you could get seriosly hurt in this deal
2007-02-15 10:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by joker:P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, it's too late. If a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship and you have sex with him anyway, you'll never be anything more than a booty call.
You want to have a relationship with him because you had sex with him and now feel closer and bonded. Men don't get that kind of reaction from having sex.
2007-02-15 10:29:56 · answer #10 · answered by Leroy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You feel like this because he's the first one........ When the next lover comes along and he is better than the 1st you'll hhave something to compair..The first one will not be an option for you
2007-02-15 10:25:37 · answer #11 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋