is this bad for me to do?

Question

Im 14 and no one in my life knows how i feel to cover what they know my dad is an acholic and my mom works all the time to support me and my lil sis she tries to be a good mom but she treats me like her scapegoat for all her anger and frustraition, what they dont know is that ive had 7 close relatives die in one week 15 close relavtives in 5 years and heck of a lot more i dont want to tell them because they will treat me like a baby, i can not feel anything, love or hate ive blocked myself from the outside world ppl think that they r close to me but they r nowhere near it i have mostly guy friends and im good at math and reading, I ride dirtbikes, fourwheelers, I skateboard, I play paintball, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, hockey, softball, and I play the guitar and bass, im VERY good at video games I’ve beaten every halo game atleast 6 times ,I’ve been to every Ozzfest in the past 4 years I like Slipknot and almost every rock, heavy metal/death metal band there is and mostly I hang out with my best friend of 6 years CJ(16) is like a brother to me, we get in A LOT of trouble together from staying up until 5 A.M on school nights, setting of fireworks on the roof of my house, and jumping the 14 foot drop off my roof into my bushes and breaking my leg and a whole lot more we're inseparable anyways I wont open up to anyone...and pls don’t tell me to go see a psychiatrist it wont work...and I have very few friends because evryone thinks im too quiet...what can I do?

Additional Details

26 minutes ago
o and the other day my uncle was cutting a piece of rope with a knife that had a gut hook on it well it slipped and my lil cousin was short enough to where it was going to hit her in the head and most likely kill her, i stuck my hand infront of the knife so it wouldnt hit her it pierced my hand and went almost all the way through, i could see the metal through my skin, it was blleding hard well i pulled it out and the hook on the end tore the inside of my hand more...i didnt shead a tear and i almost died my hand is paralized for a while from the nerves...it is wierd that i didnt feel any pain?

Answer 1

If i were you i would not have just put down my whole life story

Answer 2

Sweetie you are really going through a tough time. Hanging yourself on a rope is NOT the answer, despite what some jerk says. You may not feel comfortable talking to a psychiatrist, but there are some really good counselors that are not psychiatrists. You need to be able to open to someone you can trust. Try to talk to your mom. Tell her you are depressed and need help. If you have lost that many relatives, chances are your mom and dad have too, and they are probably having a tough time of it as well. They just may not show it, and they may not realize how much you are hurting if they are tied up in their own hurts.

There are support groups for kids of parents who are alcoholics. Try contacting this number if you need to talk. It is toll free 1-888-425-2666 (1-888-4AL-Anon) or go to
www.al-anon.alateen.org and click on the "my parents" button. There are tons of other kids out there going through the same things you are. It might help to chat with them. You might even be able to meet up with some in your area. It's nice to have friends who understand what you live with everyday.

As far as your hand not hurting. Sometimes our bodies protect us when the pain would be great. It's like, we might get a leg cut off and not feel a thing, but a paper cut hurts like a son-of-a-gun! Plus it's possible that the knife cut your nerves and therefore your pain receptors.

It's not good for you not to cry though. You need to be able to let your emotions show to someone. Thats why I think a counselor would be good. You can cry and spill your guts and they aren't going to talk about you all over the school like a friend might. It stays confidential, and you don't have to tell anyone your going to counseling if you don't want to. If you keep all your emotions bottled up inside you, you could get sick from it. Plus you need to deal with all your hurting NOW, or it will affect you when you grow up and become a parent. You don't want to do that to your child. You want to get the help you need, so you can get back to feeling like a normal kid and doing normal kid stuff. You have a lot of FUN in front of you!

Answer 3

Just reading these answers are going to give me a nightmare thinking of if these musicians formed a band. Worst Vocalist: Chad Kroeger Worst Drummer: Meg White (Although I do like The White Stripes) Worst Bassist: Nikki Sixx Worst Guitarist: Herman Lee

Answer 4

hey honestly your depressed dont listen to those silly remarks about finishing it
i know the feeling
"numb feeling disconnected feel cold to the heart nothing anyone says makes a difference " you may feel like you need to cut yourself to feel pain just to make sure your alive
you are alive your mother hits out at you because shes hurting to and you are there - im a mother i do the same its bad but when you are trying to do evrything it gets a bit overpowering at times
find a friend to talk to not the one getting you in trouble - i now that sound harsh but please a teacher or older family friend
maybe try a chat board or blog the other girls message if she wants to talk talk to her please ask for help
after the death of my eldest boy and 2 brothers all dieing i now depression and grief but i also realise now how much it will hurt those you leave behind
your mother will never get over it trust me i know - there is no pain as great as buring your child please be strong and ask for help if you are feeling so numb then remember it cant hurt you can it

Answer 5

awwwww......honey i am so sorry! i am close to your age and i know how you feel because i once felt that way. you are going through a depression and you may not know it, but from what you sed i am thinking your depressed. i dont know why ppl say pills or professionals help depressed ppl because they dont. the only thing that will help you is giving you something to live for and a true friend. it seems to me like CJ is a good friend, but you need someone to TALK to, not do fun/crazy things with. so hon, please email me! i will help you so much, because when i was going to kill myself, i found a friend here on yahoo answers and she is now my bff and she stopped me from killing myself. email me and i will be a true friend
[e-mail]
just please email me i will help you so much!

Answer 6

You should probably contact the doctor about the knife thing. Don't worry about the family situation.Just find someone you can really pour your heart out to.Find someone who really cares about you and just talk to them about everything.

Answer 7

Open up. tell people how you feel. Try to talk to your mom or your sis. It's gonna come out sooner or later... But the more you wait, the more devastating it will be when it comes out

Answer 8

i am not sure i am also confuse