My mom is rasict with mexicans.....?

Question

ok well first to start it off im 13.and im white.
well i started going out with this mexican guy.im in 7th grade and he is in 8th so i dont see him that much,only in between classes and we have only been dating for like 3 days now. well i told my mom that i have a new boyfriend and that he is mexican. because i tell her most things that i do. she started yelling at me at how they are pigs and lazy people.and all that the mexican guys wanna do is just to get into ur pants. mexicans are normal people.just like whites or black or whatever. but she doesnt get that.and then she started going to my myspace to see what i talk about with him and all my friends.so i told her it was my privacy and she cant do.she got mad at me cause she says that she has the right anything she wants cause im only 13 and im her daughter. so she made me delete my myspace. i cried soo much.not bout myspace but how she doesnt want me to date him.
any tips for me how to deal with this? how to make her trust me?

well so i didnt finish...
she had never been this nossy before. since ive turned 13 she has been going through all of my stuff.and i tell her most stuff that i do,but some things are just ment to be kept to myself. and it pisses me off how she thinks that mexicans are just pigs and stuff. because she work with some mexicans that are like 21-25yrs old,and they dont do anything and now she thinks that every mexican is like that. =/

and she also thinks that my grades droped because of my new bf. no! my grades drop at the strat of second trimester because all that stuff got harder for me. but now my C became a B. for science. and i do pretty good in school. i tried to bring all my grades up. and if they are low i work hard to bring them up to an A or a B. but she thinks that my new bf got my grades down. school comes first to me not a bf.

so please help me. cause i dont even think that i can trust her anymore with anything because she doesnt trust me.

thanks everyone

Answer 1

Growing up, my parents were racists too. I always had friends of all different backgrounds. I just didn't listen to their opinions. It is hard, but if you know your friends (or in this case your boyfriend) then all you can hope is that your mom will come around to seeing that she is generalizing about a group of people and knows nothing about this individual (let alone that her generalization is awful).

I agree with the poster that stated don't be the victim. You will not change your mothers opinion by fighting or arguing with her. You might change her opinion by showing her that you are a mature person and that you believe your boyfriend is not like she thinks and hopefully she will see that by both of your actions. Does he get good grades? If so, that might also help show her she is wrong. A positive projection is always best.. meaning don't try to prove her wrong or fight with her, but let her see how this relationship does good things for you, such as a good attitude, clean room, etc.

As far as your mom yanking you myspace account. I can see that she is scared and was making a fast panic reaction to her overall fears. She is afraid you are going to get hurt or have sex too young (which in itself could hurt you emotionally). Having been "online" since 1987 (which wasn't the internet, but dialups), I can say things have changed a lot! Being a parent now, I can't imagine letting my kids have the freedom I did then because there are so many more people and sickos that can log on now.

Your mom is scared because she loves you and wants to protect you. Find a way so that you two can communicate without her yelling at you and for you to not keep secrets from her and you might find that she will trust you more and you will have someone you can always go to for support and understanding.

I hope you two work your differences out. I hope she is able to see she shouldn't stereotype people as well. Keep safe.

Answer 2

1) It's not your privacy. While I really dislike your mother's racial issues, it's not your privacy online. What your mom did was over reacting to a threat she feels is immediately affecting, and I agree she did it for the wrong reason. Don't say that it's YOUR privacy. She's taking action and protecting her daughter from bad people on the internet. Unfortunately for you, her idea of "bad people" is filled with racial tension.

2) Talk to her. Why does she feel like that? My dad is the same way, but I have never dated anyone who was Hispanic. Would she feel comfortable meeting him? If she is, perpare your boyfriend for the possibility of a melt-down on her part.

3) Don't become a victim here. Your mom is a racist, and the worst thing you can do right now is to fuel her anger. It's not going to help. Instead approach this as a young, mature adult.

Answer 3

In the first place Mexican guys aren't the only ones wanting to get into girls pants, that applies to all races, but not ALL guys are like that, there are a lot of decent respectful guys out there.
In the second place you're way to young to be dating, wait until you're at leatst 17.
And in the third place I'm sorry your mom is racist.

Answer 4

Sounds like what you are going through is hard, but really there is nothing you can do to change your mom's mind if she feels so strongly like this. But who cares what your mom thinks? As long as you are happy with the boy then thats all that matters. ON the trust aspect just show her you are trustworthy in things you do. Do not lie to her, get in trouble in school, or be bad. She will eventually see that you are a trustworthy person

Answer 5

One day you'll be 18 and you can go be on your own. Only thing you can do is not let the hate your mom has consume you. Keep loving people for who they are even if you don't agree with them. Just like your mom one day she may change, or maybe not good luck and peace!!!

Answer 6

well if she dont like mexicans thats her fault if you love mexicans then booboo for her becuase its your life and it may be the law that she can go throught your stuff but if she trusts you then she has no reason to go snooping round in your stuff change your passowrd to anything she wouldnt think of and i would get a nother myspace but keep it a secret

Answer 7

OMG you are only 13 it is not like your life is over. There are going to be a lot more guys in your life. You are way to young to date. Most guys want in a girls pants I don't care who they are!!!! Just remember she is your mom and she wants what is best for you!!! You will understand one day!!!! Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 8

Just talk to her about it. Tell her that it hurts you that she does that. Pregiduce is always wrong and it shouldn't be tolorated. If you like the guy just go out with him no matter what anyone says. The have no right to butt into your love life. Be strong!

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with your mom. Your are just a young, snotty nosed kid. You are definitely too young to date anybody. Also, folks are supposed to stay with their own race. You will smarten up.

Answer 10

Sorry! Your mom is a monster kid.....

Learn Spanish and never again talk to her in English.