The thought of meeting someone and going out on a date makes me feel a little uneasy. I guess its due to trust issues. I feel like I'm wasting my time when I date because I'll be thinking to myself...ok when will I see his true colors. My friend's fiance is trying to hook me up with his co-worker. I talked to him today on the phone but I'm thinking...how many other women are you talking to too. Am I going to be added to you harem of women? He seemed to be nice but I was like -- thats probably short lived. I guess it really doesnt matter at this point because we haven't went out on a date yet but even before I officially dated someone., I get a call from a girlfriend...so I'm at the point now that I'm like whatever. Although I'm 30 with no kids, never married, I do want to be married and have a family someday but I don't want to go through the unecessary drama of dating --- kissing frogs thinking that they will turn into princess but they don't.
2007-02-15 09:55:12 · 5 answers · asked by gloried 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't believe in dating multiple people at one time. I tried it before but its not for me.
2007-02-15 10:04:52 · update #1
When I think about it, I have trust issues with everyone but moreso with men.
2007-02-15 10:12:21 · update #2
It funny thought because he has seen me before but I don't remember him at all. -- As for the depression, I do suffer with it but it stems from other medical complications. -- I do believe in self -fulfilling prophecies. Thats why I'm scared.
2007-02-15 10:17:11 · update #3
Ha ha.... If only you knew how desperate 92% of all guys are.
Even the ones who just get it on and run - are running back to lonliness and nights of drinks with the boys, watching tv and playing x-box.... Seriously.
It is extremely frustrating to me when girls assume I have a harem of girls. That's such hollywood reality. Just because you are not saying these thoughts out loud - a even half way intuitive person can feel your hostility and if he is a nice guy will take this as rejection and not make the effort to to really get to know you.
Slimy guys on the other hand w/out such reservations or inhibitions will continuously press on you.
Therefore - as so many other things in life - you are perpetuating a self fulfilling prophecy.
Take me for example - I am a good looking guy, in shape, good job - educated and considerate with a range of talents and interests...
Yet finding someone I really feel comfortable around is very hard.
And I won't sleep with a woman unless there is some type of connection (or we are both liquored up - but I drink seldom so)
As a result I don't mess with girls when they are apprehensive and judgemental of me sigh unseen. There is too high a probability they will try to manipulate me, or dissapoint me and heck when you are holding back those types of unwarranted thoughts - we (human beings) can sense there is a lie buried beneath fake smiles.
And we (humans) don't trust that sort of thing.
Nor do we (men) like being pegged as frogs until we have earned such a title. Messes with our own confidence level and makes us assume you have serious emotional baggage.
Think about it.
Sounds like the person who posted this may battle depression.
There are quite a few non-medicinal solutions to that very common all too human problem.
good luck!
2007-02-15 10:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Nicholas J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I feel like you're reading my mind with this question. I'm the type of person who isn't easily attracted to a guy... but once I AM attracted to him, if he starts showing interest back, 98% of the time I bail and avoid him altogether. Its weird... almost like you're subcontiously sabotaging any chance you have of being happy.
I really wish I had some insightful advice for you but, the sad truth is, its a personal issue. I think what you first need to do is figure out the root of your trust issues... is it only with men or do you also avoid close friendships with women? Do you find yourself having a hard time trusting only guys or do you often question the motives of EVERYONE around you?
Its a whole lot more complex than we like to believe. I know this sounds kind of drastic... but, if its something that really bothers you and continues to hinder your love life... I'd consider talking to a couselor or something... just to try and sort it out. But, hey, I'm just a major hypocrite.
2007-02-15 18:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have some of the same issues that I have. I think you are putting too much into meeting the person at first. What is your hurry? Just relax, be friends with this guy first, don't let your emotions get so involved to quickly, take his word for truth (until you find out otherwise) and date more than one person at a time. This will help ease your anxieties.
2007-02-15 18:01:14 · answer #3 · answered by kawmort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fair enough. Know what i always wonder though? Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places. As cliche as it is it could be true. What about all the guys are already know? Maybe they're your potential future but you're too busy looking at strangers not wanting to date them. If it's a friend already then you're past that awkward "soo... what's your favorite colour?" stage of it all right?
2007-02-15 18:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by cm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not the only one
I'm a guy of 22
i don't want to have a girl pretend to be someone she's not
really sweet and Innocent.
i have really bad ways of dealing with things i kept them inside and don't say a word to anyone no matter how bad i feel it sucks
but there are nice people in this world we just have to find them hope you find the prince you can love and trust
kind regards JP
2007-02-15 18:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by johnc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋