Here it is joke of the night !!?

Question

A drunk walks into a pub he turns to the left and says "you lot over there your all ba***ards" he then turns to the right and says "and you lot over there your all c**ts" A bloke on the left says "I'm not a ba***ard" and the drunk says "well get over there with the c**ts then"

Answer 1

So who got offended?
The guy who said he wan't a ba**ard or the c**ts?
He He!

Answer 2

HERE IS " JOKES OF THE YEAR "

A young Indian asked his dad "dad how did you come up with my name?"
His dad replied "As soon as a baby is born the father walks out of the tepee and looks for a sign as to what to name the child. for example when your sister was born I walked out and saw a doe grazing in the field so she was named grazing doe. And when your brother was born I walked out and saw an eagle flying overhead so he was named flying eagle. Why do you ask Two Dogs Humping?"


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A Small Problem

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

''How did you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ***, didn't it?'''



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Carrots

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?




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Star Trek

Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.



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15 Ways to be Annoying

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.
2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a ''spider person.''
4) When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: ''Don't let him in! He's the killer!''
5. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: ''I hope I fixed it this time.''
7) Beep when a large person backs up.
8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the ''little men.''
9) Insist on making inanimate objects ''dance''
10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.
13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
15) Insist that life is ''one big musical,'' then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.




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What's for Dinner?

A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again."
"Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"




Hope these jokes are funny LMAO material!!!!!!!! good luck

Answer 3

Can only imagine what happened to the drunk by the end of the night..lol

Answer 4

Not bad but certainly not joke of the night!
Try telling one for joke of the day.
Keep smilin'.

Answer 5

Funny

Answer 6

What a foul-mouthed drunk. He should be barred.

Answer 7

That is quite possibly the worst joke of the night

Answer 8

Seen it happen on the tube.

Answer 9

yes well it made laugh so i would say it could just be the joke of the night ,Have´t heared a better one yet great stuff

Answer 10

hasn't got any funnier since i last heard it 20 years ago...