I'm so excited - but worried. My best friend has asked me to be in her wedding. The shocker - she wants me to wear a bridesmaid gown. In a way, its not shocking - I'm transgendered and we've hung out alot w/me dressed as a woman - I met her when she was working as the manager of a womens clothing store - we've gone on trips together, nights out, dances, etc. And she told me along time ago - kidded me - that she'd want me to be a bridesmaid if she ever got married. But I'm worried that she's just doing it to be nice - and I'm also worried about offending the older folks and/or detracting from her big day. On the other hand, I don't want to disappoint her - and I'd love it. And people that don't "know" just think I'm another woman. She told me that the other bridesmaids and even her fiance are great w/it. What should I do? Decline and just attend in boy mode? Or do it? I think I'll start by calling one of the other bridesmaids.
2007-02-15 08:50:42 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you are her best friend it is natural for her to want you there as one of her attendents! I think is is a great idea and if I were her I would be so happy to include you in my wedding as a bridesmaid. I do not see any problem and I think it is sweet! Good luck and I hope you enjoy the wedding and I wish a happy future for your best friend!
^_^
Umi
2007-02-15 09:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by felisuncia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're doing well by considering the feelings of others, especially the bride. After all this is her day not yours. She is supposed to be the center of attention, not you.
Do call up some of the other bridesmaids, and also talk about it to the bride some more too. Make sure that her family has been told in advance and that they will not be offended. If there is a good probability of problems then just wear the bridesmaid's dress for the bridal shower, and wear a groomsman suit for the actual wedding.
However, if you can pull this off and be perfectly passable as a female, and not draw attention to yourself, then it just might work out. I think it could actually add to the special day it is for the bride.
2007-02-15 18:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its totally fine if you wear the dress as your wedding dress if you want to do that. If you're concerned the bride would be upset, you should talk to her and let her know of your plans in advance. None of the guests from her wedding are going to remember the dress from her wedding, apart from her and POSSIBLY her husband. People just don't remember things like that. I can't remember a single BM dress from any wedding I ever attended other than those I personally wore. I think the other person is one the right track with possibly changing out the sash for another color-that would be very inexpensive and make the dress more for you. If it were white, that would be a little nod to the white wedding dress idea. Some people will find fault and make assumptions about anything. Don't worry about them. If you love this dress, feel special wearing it, and think it will suit you and your wedding, I say wear it.
2016-05-24 04:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that you and the bride need to talk about.
I was recently at a wedding that had a male bridesmaid. He did not wear a gown. He wore a tux with a vest that matched the other bridesmaids, but a little different than the groomsmen.
It wasn't that distracting, even though he was positioned with the girls for pictures, dinner and at the church.
I might not have noticed if I didn't know ahead of time.
No one really focuses on the bridesmaids/groomsmen. They focus on the bride and groom.
If you and her (and future hubby) are comfortable with it, then go for it.
If not, talk to her about wearing a tux, for being a groomsman.
2007-02-15 09:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by TiDi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its her day. She wanted her best friend to be there for her. Some people might be offended but trust me when they see her walking down the aisle, they wont focus on you.
Dont hide yourself in boy mode. If the other bridesmaids and her fiance are ok with it then strap on those heels and enjoy yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Honor your friends wish by being her bridesmaid.
2007-02-15 09:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you're comfortable being cross dressed at that big of an event, than by all measn go in women's clothing!! if not, ask her politely if you could wear something else, because you're afraid of embarassing her or making anyone uncomfortable. where i go to college, it's perfectly acceptable for guys to dress as women...there's actually a drag show this weekend, and my roomy is friends with the school's main drag queen, so i'd e used to it. might giggle a bit, but other than that, i'd be fine. if you'd love it, than go ahead and be yourself, even if you think it might offend the guests...they'll look back and think it's amusing, and if they know you as a woman, than i think going in boy mode would cause more of an upset than going as a woman!! calling another bridesmaid is a good idea!! have fun!! and congrats to your friend!!
2007-02-15 09:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by Duelen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to be mean, but you may think other people think you are just "another woman", but I have yet to see a man dressed up as a woman look like a real woman. But I guess it's up to the bride and groom. If there OK with it, then why not. I wish I were going to the wedding - would love to see that.
2007-02-15 09:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by hotmomma 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She may just be asking you cos she has joked about it before and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or she wants to shock people, or she is genuine.
If the wedding is going to be very 'Non-traditional' then i'd say go for it - BUT if it's going to be traditional (except for the guy in a gown) then I would politley decline. Not only will the 'older' family freak out - all the guests SHOULD be looking at her - not the dude in a frock . . . .maybe she hasn't thought about that ?
Good luck
2007-02-15 14:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Vicky J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in her place then I would be happy to have any of my friends there supporting me on my wedding day
I would go wearing the dress You matter a great deal to this friend or she would not have asked you to be a part of her wedding As long as her and her hubby to be are okay with it, then it should not really matter Some older people dont like different changes and are just stubborn. Its your decision on what you have decided to do with your body and if you feel comfortable in wearing a dress, go for it Just remember your are there for your friend and have a great time!!!!!!
2007-02-15 09:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by nette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have boobs (or some fake ones) and a nice wig..... Go for it... I bet most people won't even realize your a man.... might be kinda depressing if you look better then the other bridesmaids though... for them.. LOL I was just at a show and I can't believe how pretty some of the men are.
2007-02-15 09:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋