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She's a good friend of 2 years. We're not very close and I'm flattered that she invited me. What should be approrporate value of wedding gift if I attend w/ a guest, without a guest, and don't attend? We're both professionals earning pretty good salary.

Btw, she is Asian and would probably accept cash gift (asian culture).

2007-02-15 08:45:02 · 6 answers · asked by SHH 3 in Society & Culture Etiquette

6 answers

1. Everyone will accept cash, especially since you would put it inside a card and send it to her.

2. People don't like to admit it, but most cupples who just go married PERFER cash, since there are so many bills associated with the wedding. It just isn't polite to ask.

3. If I attend a wedding, I try to always cover the cost of my plate and my dates plate, plus a little extra. Generally this means $50-$75 per person. If I am close but not attending the wedding, then I would prob. give $75-$100. But all of this is dependent on what I can afford, which might be more or less than what you can afford.

2007-02-15 11:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

OK, well, if you do choose to attend with or without a guest, I would say there is nothing wrong with just handing her a nice card with a $100 bill or maybe a gift card to somewhere where she is registered in the same amount. However, if you don't attend at all, just look on the website for her registry and get her one of the items she has requested, in the $100 price range. Don't spend more than $100, though. Like you said, you're not that close, and besides, if she gets a $100 bill or a $100 gift from everyone who attends, she'll have done pretty well for herself. I always thought money was the most practical gift for a couple who's just starting out anyway. These days, lots of people live together first so they pretty much have all the kitchen appliances, dishes, etc. they want already, but we could all use money to start a savings acct. for when she wants to take time off work to have a baby, or maybe for a down payment on a new house.

2007-02-15 08:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 1 0

How do I not offend family and friends when having a destination wedding? You don't. If the bride's family were in London and the groom's in Los Angeles, then you could expect family to understand that it is physically impossible to NOT choose a location which disallows attendance for many. However, you are not in this situation at all. You have the option of marrying in a way that includes your family and are knowingly choosing another option that will exclude them because your beloved has a "bee in her butt" about Hawaii and "doesn't care about offending anyone." (Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with a lady who has so little regard for the feelings of your relations? But like money, that's another issue.) No, it is NOT "supposed to be about us" and all guidance along the lines of "This is YOUR day and YOU should have things YOUR way" should be firmly ignored for the selfish horse manure it is. A wedding is not just about the couple, but is also about the families who are interested in the future happiness of those two people, about the parents who deserve the pleasure of having their relations present at the marriage of their handsome son. "Right now I am just trying to please everyone and can't." Of course you can't. When your bride has created a situation in which you must either insult your family or thwart her whims, then that is exactly the choice you must make. If you are spineless enough to "just say the heck with it" then I predict that you will be unlikely to develop a spine after the wedding. Your future will be a series of power struggles in which your wife will not only be inconsiderate of your family but insist that you treat your family inconsiderately as well. I suggest that you use this opportunity to insist that your bride at least ACT as if she had some concern for your family, even if her actions are social hypocracy rather than genuine concern. Congrats and good luck.

2016-05-24 04:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Whether you attend with a guest or not has no bearing on how much you spend for a wedding gift. You spend what you are comfortable with, without creating debt or a financial hardship for yourself. You can give cash, a gift card or just your best wishes. Put your own financial situation first, then choose something that is not likely to get returned. Take care.

2007-02-15 09:41:47 · answer #4 · answered by Val 2 · 1 0

Either something off the registry, or cash would be appropriate. When I got married we got some off the wall gifts (a video game, tackly candle) and we really appreciated just the cash, or the things off the registry. But if you do the cash thing, I would go for at least $30-$50 for not knowing her that well, $10 is just cheesy. If you get them something for $10 off the registry, it won't be so bad because it's something they wanted. Well, some people don't put things for $10 on their registry but I tried to be sensitive to all the financial situations of my guests. But since you said you are well off, this is probably irrelevant anyway... Have fun in Hawaii!

2007-02-15 11:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by Just another opinion 3 · 0 0

I can't give you any dollar figures, but I will say this: The appropriate value depends on your budget and your feelings for her, not whether you attend, with or without a guest, or not.

2007-02-15 09:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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