There is a girl who is soft-spoken, caring, quiet, pretty much keeps to herself, talks occasionally or just talks when spoken to. You would consider this girl a friend of the same sex. She seems nice but it's hard to get to know her. She seems really comfortable with email though and lately she has been slowly revealing more about herself when she writes to you. Yet, she still remains quiet and soft-spoken when you see her but will always greet you with a smile or a hello.
SO: Would you think it was weird that she can reveal more things in an email rather than verbally? Would you be flattered, turned off, intrigued by the emails? How would you react to her in person?
2007-02-15 08:44:55 · 7 answers · asked by Chelsea 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, I don't think it's weird at all, there are many people who do the same thing; I happen to be one of them, and I suspect that there are many others here that are as well.
It is, for these kinds of people, much easier to open up without the pressure of someone (consciously or unconsciously) analyzing your every gesture, your every "uuuuhh and aaaah". With the written word it is far easier to contemplate the exact word you're
looking for. You can re-read the sentence that you have just written to make sure that it conveys your exact sentiment instead of being something that you nervously said that may easily be misinterpreted.
Not only those thing above, but even though one is emailing a person that knows them, there is still a slight feeling of anonymity.
When you see the friend who is sending you the "open" emails. Smile, say hello, and mention how funny, nice, or touching something she said in one of her emails was. This will let her know that even "in the light of day and reality" that you think of her as a friend and accept her as the person she is inside, instead of just for the person she feels free to be in her emails. It also lets her know that you like her and not just the quiet wall flower that you have known her to be in public.
Good luck, I hope you have found a true friend that you will cherish for many years to come.
2007-02-15 11:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, she is just reserved in person. Try and get her to open up more in social settings.
Some people are more comfortable with revealing these sort of things through email because it does not require an immediate reaction (good or bad). In person, just react like nothing has happened as they are choosing to act the same way. If you do act different, things may become awkward, as I've recently experienced - although probably in a less mature manner.
2007-02-15 09:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by blahblahblahblah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not weird, some people don't feel comfortable expressing their thoughts aloud - they feel they might say the wrong thing or phrase things wrong so the message comes out not how they wanted it. Those people tend to find it easier to communicate thru written word - they have the time to compose their thoughts and choose their words carefully before actually saying anything. Treat her the same in person, if she's opening up to you in e-mails, eventually she'll feel comfortable enough to be more chatty in person. Bring up something that she's said in an e-mail and ask her how it's progressed or how she feels about it - just to help her break the ice!
2007-02-15 08:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by margarita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think she's weird. I know someone who is really nice but is soft spoken and she gets anxiety attacks speaking around large groups. When she feels comfortable enough to share those same feelings in person she will. Give her time!
2007-02-15 09:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by ladyP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldnt consider it odd. people tend to be able to write down better than speak their feelings. couple of examples:
i personally dont speak well about sex with others verbally but i can talk about just anything when im talking to someone in im or email. as well i can speak about other things a little easier that way than talking to someone. it is sometimes about being able to compose my thoughts before saying, other times its about not having to look at the person when i say it and killing myself over what they are thinking with their expressions.
2nd example. my father is a quiet person and doesnt talk much. and found that getting to know him after his absence in my childhood hard due to him being quiet. well in the last few months we have been speaking via email and ive learned all sorts of stuff about him, my family and stuff in general. its easier to for him to speak to me that way i guess so i accept it.
another thing i used to be quiet in person somewhat like your friend i found that when i was around my stepmother for a few years it changed. she is a very out spoken person and funny as can be at times. she loves to do silly stuff. well i opened up a lot more because of it. so it just depends on the person but the longer you are around her the more she will open up. and if you are like my stepmom well you might help her out of her shell she is in.
2007-02-15 12:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by snow1378 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate more with emails since she is more comfortable with this form. In person, just be nice to her.
2007-02-15 18:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe E-Mail her and ask what is up?Could be she is just feeling you out, to see what kind of person you are. Do you like her? If so ask her out for coffee. lots of luck
2007-02-15 08:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by sadie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋