Worried about my son being disabled..?

Question

My son was born 5 days over due..but had alot of problems, mainly his lungs collapsed coz there was air around his lungs.

He was in the NICU for 2 weeks and came home after that. When he was discharged from the hospital the doctor said that they had no way of telling if it had caused any permanent damage to him, until he started hitting his milestones...so i went away feeling ok about things...

but then when he was 6 months old he didnt sit up, which is the normal age, he only sat up at 11 months..

same with walking..instead of about 12 months, he didnt walk till he was just past his 2nd birthday...
also many other things have been slower...

now i have convinced myself that there is something wrong with him, not mentally coz he has no probs with speech etc...but i cant get it out of my head that he is in some way disabled...

My health visitors are fed up with me ringing them all the time, and said that there is nothing wrong with him. Am i being stupid?

My son was 5'14 when born, and the docs were a bit concerned about his low birth weight, and i didnt smoke or drink during pregnancy

Answer 1

You aren't being stupid, or paranoid, you are a loving mom who wants the best for her son.
If I were in your situation, I would be phoning my health visitor too...but then I would step back and remember that some children are just like this.
You are probably more aware of things because of his tricky introduction to life and are focusing on what you don't think is normal, but remember that it is normal for him.
Relax!

Answer 2

No I do not think you are stupid. I worry all the time about my own children and I believe it is not a bad thing to be cautious at times.

If you are really really concerned about your son then go and ask for another opinion from a different doctor and health visitor! It does not hurt to ask for another professionals opinion.

He may just bit a little slow in picking up things - every child goes at his own pace. Not every child can walk at 12 months, some do earlier or later. We all are different but we do all catch up eventually.

When I was little my mum was convinced that I had hearing problems as a baby (was born weeks early and had a few problems). The doctors said there was nothing to worry about and told her all was fine.

My mum was determined so she took me to an audiologist and had hearing tests but me being a crafty kid, I would peek and cheat at the hearing test. I didn't mean to cheat, was just curious and look around so in the end the audiologist thought I was hearing fine.

My mum wasn't convinced so went back again for another test and finally found the truth! I was born deaf so she started learning sign language. We all coped with my disability.

Answer 3

Most states have a program for free diagnosis and testing for children, contact your local school or your pediatrician. You know your child the best.

However, I also had a baby with a difficult birth. He spent 6 weeks in the NICU. He was normal birth weight, about 7 lbs. You don't say if your child was a large baby. Large babies tend to have later physical milestones. My niece didn't sit up until 12 months, didn't start walking until 17 months and didn't start talking until 18 months. Your child doesn't sound like he's really having any problems. He sounds like he's still within normal. If your pediatrician isn't worried, I wouldn't worry as much. Especially if he is walking.

Answer 4

Obviously something is hanging in the back of your mind. You won't have peace until you get some straight answers. I would get a second opinon. Two is late for walking but isn't abnormal either. All children do develop at different rates and it doesn't mean they have any other mental or physical problem. Perhaps, your son concentrated more on his speech at that time rather than walking.

I've head that babies will often throw their concentration into one milestone. Then, once they conquer that they move to another. I know a two year old that doesn't say anything other than mommy and daddy. But, he's been walking since he was a year old.

Answer 5

Of course you are not being stupid....you are a concerned mom and you have the right to be.

On that note just because you son seems to be doing things a little later than most does not necessarily mean anything is wrong with him. There is a very wide spectrum of normal. So sit back relax and watch your little man grow.

Also I don't know where you are from but here in Ohio(I do believe all states have a similar program) we have Help Me Grow and Early Intervention which could both be of some help to you and your son. My youngest daughter has been a part of this program since she was 8 months old as she was delayed in some areas and they have helped her out dramatically.

Answer 6

Parents are responsible for the acts of their minor children. I suspect a case is being made against you, the child's parents, based on your suspected negligence of somehow allowing a 6 year old severely autistic child to run amok in the neighborhood. Generally, the District Attorney (D.A.) pushes issues such as these in an election year. "Intake Information" indicates the child is going be undergo a pychological or mental evaluation & they must have the parents information on hand @ the time of the hearing. Otherwise, your child might become a "Ward of the Court" due to a judges bench order. You need legal advice. If you cannot get it or afford it, then petition the court for REPRESENTATION (Public Defender or legal aid) AND ask for an EXTENTION on the trail date due to financial hardship & 5 days not being enough time to retain Legal Council. Don't blame your neighbor. They most likely had no idea what the system was going to do with the information when someone "innocently" came to their door or phoned them about the incident in question & they answered questions like any good citizen would. Addition: If you cannot get any help---contact the ACLU & raise "you know what" on the basis of discrimination. If they won't talk to you---then contact your local newspaper & have them run a story on how you think your 6 year old disabled child is being targeted by the local authorities. Whatever you do...just don't do nothing & don't go to court without knowing your rights. You have the right to an extention if you ask for it.

Answer 7

Have you had your son examined by a paediatrician. Or perhaps by someone who specializes in child development?

But if your concern is that he's hitting the milestones slowly, then it's not that great of a concern, simply because he is hitting them. He'll get there a bit more slowly than the other kids because of his early health problems. But he should catch up to the rest of the kids eventually.

The important thing, though, is that he's meeting his intellectual development marks. With that and the love and support of those around him. he'll be just fine, no matter what.

Answer 8

NO NOT STUPID!! You are a caring, loving mom it seems. You care about your son, and just want opinions. Maybe you should get a 2nd one from a dr. The little boy I was watching didn't start walking until he was 18 months. He is now 2.5 and running everywhere! He still ISN'T talking though, but his mom doesn't seem concerned and THAT bothers me! ;( If it is in the back of your mind do something about it, and don't let those other individuals tell you any different.

Answer 9

You seem to think he's on track mentally, so that's good. Also, there is a lot of variation in the times that kids hit milestones like sitting, crawling walking so you shouldn't be too worried about that either. You said that he did sit up and did walk eventually, so it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. He's just taking his time with things- he probably has a very relaxed temperament and doesn't feel the need to rush the milestones.

Answer 10

No No No you are not being stupid. You are his mom. If you dont take care of him who will. Are they just telling you nothing is wrong or are they testing different things then telling you the test are fine. Stay on them and if the get attituddy go to some one else. My son is 17 and was born with (ASTHMA) I would always take him to the dr. with complaints of weezing and shortness of breath. The would pat me on the head and send me away. I was only 18 at the time but I knew something was wrong. One doctor even suggested I see a shrink. When he as almost 3 and several cardiologist and pediatricians later they found his heart condition ( PDA AND VSD) so much for ASTHMA. Until you are satisfied dont feel silly stay strong. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing, but everytime you have a question ask it until you get your answer.