Why do waiters interupt my conversation with someone at the table only to ask my friend how is everything?

Question

this is my pet peeve. Whenever I go out to a restaurant, the waiter constantly interupts me in the middle of my sentence then IGNORES me and speaks ONLY to my friend to ask her "how is everything?" this happened like 4 times last night.

if you are going to ask my friend how is everything, then why not ask me too? I was never greeted, never told thank you and never acknowledged. So why do they interupt me in the middle of my sentence and ignore me and expect a tip?
By the way I am asian american and the friends I eat with are white.

Answer 1

WOW!!! You have been given a list of some of the worst answers I have seen all afternoon....

Waitstaff routinely perform a quality/guest satisfaction "check back" I agree that it comes at the worst possible time... ie: middle of a conversation, when your mouth is full... they don't mean to time it this way, but it seems to be the norm. Some restaurants care about guest satisfaction.... others (the large chain restaurants) kind of go through the motions on this...

It is unfortunate that you received the service and evident cold shoulder that you did while dining out. I'd say that they are lucky that you didn't name the restaurant. In the future... I would actually reccomend statements like "Oh, mine is really good too.... thanks for asking" to get your point across. The tempo and pace of a busy restaurant can cause its employees to take things for granted, and if you can point that out in a nice way or sometimes a not so nice way... things generally will improve. Hope this helps and sorry that your waiter/waitress was so poor.

Answer 2

First, you should be happy that your waiter is asking you instead of ignoring you.

Second, it has nothing to do with you being Asian (and that's not a fair card to play).

Third, when you are waiting on a table, you greet everyone there. But, more often than not, one customer will be more vocal than the rest and will thus become the unofficial table spokesperson. If the waiter was directing questions at your friend, it's probably because that person was more vocal and gave the server the impression that they would more readily answer. Also, as you were talking, it makes more sense to address the ones who are not speaking.

Fourth, was the waiter standing there before he asked? Did you stop talking to allow him to address the table when he approached? If not, then you should have yielded the conversation when he arrived. That way, he would have gotten the chance to do his job well for your table and you would not have been interrupted.

I can see how it would be upsetting to get interrupted, but it's not fair of you to complain about it when the waiter was just doing his job (and quite well too).

Answer 3

Usually, when a waiter asks if everything is okay, they are adressing the whole table. I've never had a waiter ask each individual person at the table if everything was fine.

As for the interruption, obviously you've never waited tables before. If you don't interrupt people, they will go on with their conversation, and let you stand there until they are done. They might go on 15 minutes if you don't just cut in. It's not like it's really interrupting your story for them to take ten seconds and ask if everything is fine. If no one prompts you to go on, they probably weren't listening in the first place.

BTW-I think the woman above me meant that she's sure they didn't ignore you because you're asian american.

Answer 4

Once upon a time, waiters assumed that one person at the table was treating the rest, so, logically enough, the question would directed to that person.

Nowadays, no one treats anyone anymore, so things are a bit muddled.

I do agree that it is irritating to be cut off in the middle of a sentence. Waiters should at least wait for a pause. After all, it's pretty obvious when customers really do need something (i.e. they'll be looking around for the waiter, not talking to each other)

Answer 5

Perhaps it was just an oversight of the server. The servers are expected to greet the entire table as well as ask the entire table how their meal is, how everything is, etc.

I'm sure they didn't greet you because you're Asian American.

Did you complain to management? If you had, you might have at least gotten some sort of discount on your bill.

Answer 6

Maybe you talk too much and it only seemed like you were being interrupted.

The waiter has a job to do. If you were talking it is easier to address someone else.

Don't look too deep into the Asian thing. Sounds like you may be fishing for an excuse.

Answer 7

Waiters don't have time to stand there and wait for you to quit talking in order for them to do their job. They have more than one table to wait on. They just ask one person because they are in a hurry. If there is a problem with someone else's food at the table they can speak up.

Answer 8

Because they'll get in trouble if they don't. I had a job where when people were shopping I had to interrupt them to see if they found everything they needed, even if it was obvious that they had. Some managers are very strict & will repremand their employees if they don't see them asking the people eating if they have everything they need. It is a stupid rule but the waiters & waitresses need to support their families.

Answer 9

Its abvious he had the hots for your friend(s).
Now if I were the Waiter and you were Asain American, I would ask you for "Everything"... Don't hold that against him, but it is also possible his family lineage may have been victums of Pearl Harbor. Who knows, thats definetly a Visious pet peve!!
Good luck in future indeavours!

Answer 10

Usually they look at one person only when asking how things are going and they usually look at the hot person, so if the waiter does not look at you, it means you are ugly!