my boyfriend has anxiety and depression. Out of nowhere he started telling me today he's not sure if we belong together. he started telling me that's he's been hanging out with 1 girl and he likes her. but she doens;t mean anything to him because he loves me. it confused me for a second. Now he keeps texting saying he needs help and he loves me.I don;t know what to do. he's right now working and i'm scared he might do something. can someone tell with anxiety tell me what i should do? I love my boyfriend. and i did not get mad at him when he told me he likes this girl. i was just sad. . please help me out!!!
2007-02-15 08:29:38 · 18 answers · asked by latina_girl 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
If he's texting you he needs help because he's anxious and depressed, after telling you he likes someone, it sounds like he just wants an excuse for you to not be mad at him. "I'm anxious and depressed, so it's ok for me to cheat on you."
Anxiety and depression have nothing to do with this at all. I have both.
The only way it could affect this situation is if his anxiety is making him afraid of losing you. But that does not explain the other girl.
You have a lot of talking to do, and understanding and dealing with his anxiety may be part of that. But focus on the fact that he doesn't put you first, for now. Because that's a much more pressing issue, it seems.
2007-02-15 08:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend does have a problem, but it's not anxiety and depression. It sounds to me like he's trying to tell you that he wants out, but he doesn't want to be the one to break up, he wants you to do it so he's not the bad guy. I also think you're using his possible 'anxiety and depression' issues to excuse his behavior so that you can stay with him without feeling like you're being made a fool of; you can always blame his 'illness' for anything he does, and you can feel like you're doing a really great thing by 'sticking by him'. I think you *both* have some issues of your own that you need to work on, and staying with each other should be WAY down the list.
Just my personal opinion of course.
2007-02-15 08:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by pookieb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing about anxiety is that it is irrational. One thing you need to understand is that anxiety comes from the fight or flight center of the brain. That is not a rational part of the brain. Neither you nor he can rationalize your way around this situation.
If you truly believe that this is all related to his anxiety, you should encourage him to speak to someone. In whatever stage of life you are, there are many opportunites for people with problems such as his to get professional help for little or no charge.
The important thing for you to remember is to try to be as calm as you can. You need to maintain a reasonably objective outlook on the situation as well, so that you do not get sucked into playing a counseling or administrative role in his life. He needs you to be you -- for other roles, he should seek out professionals to help him.
I have anxiety and depression problems. For a while I was terrified to leave my house or even to go out on my own porch. I understand what he might be going through -- it is confusing and makes you feel helpless. This can make you depressed, which, in turn, makes you more anxious.
My husband stood by me and I saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist as well as my regular medical doctor for several months before I got to the point where I could leave my yard without being terrified. He understood his role and encouracged me to see other people when what I needed was outside his scope.
Hope that helps.
2007-02-15 08:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well. 1st of all he's afraid because he has this condition. anxiety makes u nervous and doubtful alot of times. try 2 hang in there with him. does he see an therapist? that might help. also he will need sum medication 2 help him with the depression as welll as the anxiety.u really need 2 sit down and talk 2 him face 2 face and ask him what exactly he wants. u r better than that 4 him 2 shoot u lies so he needs 2 b honest get help or give him the boot.
2007-02-15 08:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only help you need...get out. You are going to live a life of misery and it's not because he's got anxiety or depression. Millions of Americans suffer from these and don't straddle the fence with the one they supposedly love. Get out NOW!
2007-02-15 08:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by Elvis lives! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's using you honey! Anxiety is no excuse to be "hanging" around with another girl! And you should get mad at him for that! You are worth more than that! Get someone who is already together and can treat you as you should be treated, like a lady!
2007-02-15 08:38:10 · answer #6 · answered by Shari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Understand him and give him loads of support and care. Understand how anxiety and depression works. Get your info off the web. There are tons of em' there. Meanwhile, if his anxiety and depression is affecting his career or family, then it's about time to visit a psychiatrist.
2007-02-15 08:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by Mark L 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hey, this kinda happened to me. you gotta just tell him you love him, and if he doesnt already tell him to get a counsler to help him out. my gf's going to one right now. call him a lot, and be positive and happy. asure him that u love him and stuff and you'll be there for him. if he really loves u, he'll see passed that girl. well, maybe, cuz some times it takes disaster to learn a lesson. if he says he wants to go witht hat girl dont stop him. just say, ok fine. he will come back to you, i assure it!! and if he doesnt then it wasnt meant to be
2007-02-15 08:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by thecoolguy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont think its anxiety hun i just think he likes the attention he is getting from this other girl and yes he might love you but he does like her and he obviuosly likes what she has to offer
2007-02-15 08:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's jerking you around. He likes the chick and he's making you an accomplice for dumping you. Wake up. Tell him to shut up about it or walk. Be ready to dump or be dumped.
2007-02-15 08:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by rocken_heimer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋