My long-term boyfriend is very very conservative when it comes to sex. Sex is not bad with him...in fact it is very emotional and nice. But he seems embarassed if i suggest anything new. Even lingerie makes him slightly uncomfortable, because he's turn red and just tell me i look pretty and smile. I can see myself marrying him, and it would be interesting to try different things with him. He says it's "cultural" but I don't know what that means. He is Chinese (from China) and I am white (from Cali). Any thoughts?
2007-02-15 07:56:18 · 28 answers · asked by chicabonita 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is funny! He is scared of sex! hahahah
2007-02-15 08:00:15 · answer #1 · answered by Monet 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I can understand how frustrating it must be when you are dying to sex it up and he is happy where its at. Even though he says it's cultural( and I'm sure some of it is), I think alot of it is ego. He maybe afraid that you are not satisfied with just him, which you said your not. If I were you, I'd just talk with him, not during sex, but during a quiet time. Tell him that you love your sex life, but it would really turn you on to try something you both fantasy about. Opening him up and getting into things that he would like will open the doors to a much more adventurous sex life.
2007-02-15 16:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably embarassed about something. Either his body, his male "part" or his performance. Just make him feel powerful and good at whatever he does do. Once you've got him feeling like an All-Star, he'll want to play more. This means saying things that might seem too blatant at the time, but he won't question it, he'll just get really proud of himself and become a lot more confident.
2007-02-15 16:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by tcsmoooth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex-boyfriend was part Chinese and he wasn't like that. In fact he was the opposite. I was the conservative one. It just sounds like he isn't comfortable with sex yet. I'm certain he likes it, he just doesn't know how to react. Take baby steps with him, don't just come out in lingerie if he is uncomfortable. He'll be more open eventually.
2007-02-15 16:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't understand what he means when he says that "it's cultural," than you still have lots of talking to do. He needs to explain the differences about how you were raised. these differences are going to be really important if you really think you could build a life together, because he'll also have different ideas about children and how they should be raised, about how a household is run, financial issues, etc. You sound like you still need to do a lot of getting to know him.
2007-02-15 16:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew there were cultural differences when you started dating him. Have a good sit down and talk things out. Obviously you're both a little naive when it comes to each others sexual ways in the two cultures.
2007-02-15 16:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cannot just say "cultural" and leave the issue. You are at an emotional stage to share love and thus share emotion and feelings. Ask him why it is cultural and what can be done about it...A harsher answer is because of culture and his perhaps unwillingness to change or comform to your ideas of a more sexual boyfriend you and he are incompatible
2007-02-15 15:59:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is more reserved than you are. I can understand the "cultural" thing. It's hard to bring someone out of the sexual inhibition shell. Even in an American-American relationship. I stripped once for my husband he felt guilty looking at me, had to keep telling himself that it was ok, this was his wife. I really felt like he couldn't really enjoy it because of his hang ups. Good luck Honey!
2007-02-15 16:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He isn't comfortable with you yet to go that far. Give it some time, he'll come around. Don't be discouraged, just take your time when trying new things and don't try too many new things at once. Try something new every couple months or so and try talking to him about why he is conserved.
2007-02-15 16:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably is cultural for him. Orientals are VERY conservative when it comes to sex, and easily embarrassed. That doesn't mean he won't change over time... Keep trying slowly.
2007-02-15 15:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"cultural" (in this case) means that in his culture sex is more conservative...talk to him more about how you feel and if he would be open to slowly and gradually exploring new things sexually with you...he may find a world of experiences he loves, that he didn't even know existed.
2007-02-15 15:59:15 · answer #11 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋