Why do Mormons try to separate new Mormons from their non-mormon families?

Question

I mean, that is what cults do, right?

Contact...yes I get a (rare) phone call every so often from my converted sister and father. But they make a point to never be alone with me. They always make sure there is a mormon chaperone.

fish...you're so wrong, you don't even understand your own cult! Geez my kids mormon grandfather refused to go to their bday parties because it interferes with his mormon choir practice!

Wow, mormons are so defensive. They refuse to believe this doesn't happen! My sis and I were best friends until one day she had the talk (shortly after her baptism) with me that she would no longer be hanging out with me. But she said if I wanted to come to her church youth group I would be welcomed! I didn't see much of her for a few years after that until I agreed to start going to her church youth group (I knew I was strong enough to resist their pressure). I have talked to many, many other relatives of converted mormons who experience the same thing.

Pink-I don't drink, never did drugs, never smoked, have good morals. I really resent that you call me ignorant because of the way I have been horribly treated by my sister and now recently horribly treated by my father (not to mention his poor grandkids). I have tried to talk to her but had forgotten the conversations she had with me back then and basically didn't even acknowlege me at the time so has no memories of it.

twik-your snobby attitude is the same as my sisters! You all act like your perfect and treat everyone the same but you wouldn't talk like that to another mormon! Family relationship was just fine until she became a mormon, that was the only thing that changed.

Answer 1

It has never been the standing of the Church that its members should stay away from non-Mormons.

That being said, there are sometimes members who come into the Church with old conceptions that the Church is "secret" and shouldn't be mixed with anything "unholy". Some of these newer members tend to alienate themselves from their previous friends.

I know people of many religions, including Mormons, Catholics, Baptists, and other mainstream Christians (Muslims as well) who tend to have a tight-knit group of friends predominantly of their own religion. Since Mormons tend to be active participants in their religion, this effect is exacerbated sometimes.

I can neither justify nor condemn the actions of your family, not knowing the circumstances, but I can say that Mormons are extremely delighted to talk about their convictions. Maybe they are embarassed and thing that you might find them weird for being Mormon. If you let them know that you don't think any less of them, that they are still your family, and that you love them every bit as much as before, that might help them pull their heads out from under the rock and realize that religion shouldn't separate loving family relationships.

As a mormon, I have family who is Mormon, family who is not, and family who used to be but is no longer. We all get along great, have family reunions, hang out together, and sometimes attend each other's church meetings just for the sake of going to church together.

If it doesn't work out the way you want it to, then i feel bad for you. I would never wish that experience on anybody, inside or outside of the Church. Jesus said to love one another, and I believe that that should exist first and foremost in the family.

Answer 2

You are making a broad generalization based on your own experience with your family, or maybe a little larger group. However, this is not what the Mormon Church teaches or believes. Mormons believe that all people should be respected and welcomed regardless of their beliefs. I'm sure if someone was defensive, a distraction or demoralizing they may not want them around, but if they are respectful and good natured there wouldn't be a problem.

In my family I and my mother are members. My one brother is completely anti or against Mormonism and my other brother is impartial, but we still get together and rarely talk about religion. We respect the fact that we each made our choices. Likewise, I am married to an agnostic, but we still love and respect each other completely. She totally disagrees with what I believe, but she respect me and my decision to attend church weekly and do other things in the Church. I also support her beliefs and respect her regardless. What is important is that each individual study things out, become educated, and make both a logical and rational decision based upon their findings, including what they learn from sincere prayer if they believe in that.

I see no reason to try and tear down someone else or call them names, but people will always do it. We would get much further in this world if we just had mutual respect across the board.

As far as being alone...that's funny. I know missionaries aren't left alone, but that's it. Maybe people are uncomfortable with you. Don't have an answer for that, but is certainly doesn't have anything to do with the church. I've always been willing to sit down and have a respectful conversation with someone, even alone. Good luck finding the source of the problem.

Answer 3

That's sad how your sister and father are treating you.

I have had a simular experience, I am LDS (Mormon) but my older sister isn't. We use to fight continually trying to convince each other of our different religious beliefs ( we are both strong willed and both think we have to be right). I finally got to thinking one day, was it better to be right and to be fighting all the time or to have a relationship with my sister. After talking with my sister she agreed with me and we agreed never to talk about religion to each other again; we have had much fewer fights and have a better sister relationship. (Religion does slip up now and then, but we are now more understanding of each other)

Now I know that there is nothing I can say to make things right and you have probably already tried talking to your sister but I would either talk to my sister, or if that was not possible, write her a letter, telling her of your feel, how you miss your close relationship and how you would like to be close again, tell her honestly that you think religion is getting in the way and you would like to start over without religion being attached. I would try the same thing with your dad.

She may not listen and maybe time is the only thing that will help. But I hope she does, because family is so important, and we need each other now not later!

Hope it works out!

Answer 4

There is nothing in Mormon Doctrine that teaches this. But many individuals in the church do try to convince other LDS to not be too close to non-members that obviously have no intentions on ever converting, or are believed to be in "grave sin".

This is EXACTLY why I left the LDS church after being a member for 5 years.

Those five years were great.

I met many of my current friends in the Church.

I felt so connected to the other members.

I felt special receiving the priesthood and the endowment.

I also was STUPID for listening to the advice of my bishop who told me to cut of contact with my Gay father because he was Gay.

I spent the last 4 years of my father's life ignoring him.

Now I will never get the chance to say goodbye or tell him I love him.

I'm haunted by the fact that my last words to him were "I'm sorry dad, but you are too evil for me to talk to you".


Not all Mormons preach this.... but sadly MANY do.

This happened in liberal California, I'd hate to see what bishops are telling their parishoners in Utah, Idaho, or Arizona where the LDS population peaks at least 50%.

I find it very ironic that a church that prides itself in family values absolutely destroyed mine.

I hate LDS ideology, I hate the history of the Church, the history of blood atonement and polygamy. I think its absolutely evil and I think its VERY DISHONEST and down right deceitful that the LDS missionaries NEVER mention the church's seedy history EVER during any of the 6 discussions, or even directly after their conversion.

Its disgusting that I had to find out about the "secret" doctrines of the church until AFTER i went to the temple, and even then I found out about them through ex-Mormons, and non-LDS books.

Mormon people are still some of the nicest I've ever met. Most virtues and morals practiced are good ones. Their ideas on the family and community however need some coarse tweeking. I pray every day for all my friends in that church.

Answer 5

So, your sister doesn't want to "hang out" with you...have you considered maybe she feels her beliefs are important and she doesn't want to be around the things you are doing or the way you might be acting?
My husband's brother is not active in the LDS church, he and his wife have big drinking parties all the time, we are always invited and rarely go. It is not because of "pressure" from other members or anything, it is because we don't drink and don't want to be around drunks and their behavior and language. I do not judge them because of what they do, they are really nice people, I just don't want to be around that kind of stuff.
To generalize and say why do "mormons" separate other mormons from non-mormon families is just you being ignorant, sorry. Why not talk to your sister, express your feelings, ask her to share her feelings on the matter as well. Family is #1 to us as members so try talking to her and maybe ask her about what she believes. You don't have to believe too but maybe then you would at least understand.

Answer 6

I won't attempt to lay out a full analysis, but there is a phenomenon of recognizable stages throughout one's acceptance of a religion. One stage is that of the "new comer". Be they called "born again" or anything to the like, the recently "converted" are recognized both as strong in faith & susceptive to what would be considered less-desirable aspects found among other members. One such undesirable aspect is the religiously-divided family and is another of recognizable stages; i.e. being a sense of shame that comes from not fulfilling the ideal of a fully religious family. This shame may stem from feelings associated with fear of inadequacy (e.g. of converting one's own family, or convincing family to "return to the fold"). Those conforming to religions that emphasize ideals of forgiveness & family may find it a difficult task to straddle the gap between them due to the involvement of often several conflicting “interests”. One of such is the belief of a divine and final judgment resulting in eternal consequence that would/should matter to the associated family.
So it may be applied to the question that depending on how one member of a religion sees both oneself & the newly converted, an effort to separate family from the “once-lost-but-now-found” would be out of an interest to protect either the newly found faith of one, or the shame of another from being exposed.

Answer 7

Every religion has their zealots. I am not sure that your family would shun you. I am sure we do not know the whole story here. Sorry that you are feeling this way.

It is not a very Christian thing to do and yes Mormons are Christian, they are just a different sect of Christianity like Baptists and Catholics. They just have different beliefs that seem strange to some. But that can be said for other sects as well.

Answer 8

Really...that's the best you can do???

LOL

Mormons don't try to separate anyone from anyone. And, if calling them a "cult" makes you feel better about yourself, go for it. I'm sure that's what Jesus would do....

In fact, this question is just downright dishonest. The LDS church has a more family-friendly agenda than any other church out there. Get your facts straight.

Answer 9

this has more to do with your FAMILY RELATIONSHIP than a religion. I have non mormon family members and they are NO DIFFERENT!
The way you talk is like you just made it up. If its true I am sorry that you lost the relationship you had with your sister. You should try and work it out, rather than be bitter about it.

Answer 10

Actually, My experience has been that they want the convert to "share the gospel", with their non-member relatives.In hopes of getting the new members family in the church.