my son has always been respectful of his mother and i, and still is. but he just is not motivated to clean his room. we're afraid someday he may disappear in there.
2007-02-15 07:25:14 · 20 answers · asked by good question 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Tell him that if he doesn't start to keep his room looking halfway decent, that you will have to charge him room rent in addition to his share of the bills, and then he can live like a pig if he wants to since he's paying for the space.
It's your house and he is an adult, afterall, so I don't think that would be out of the question. Paying a small portion of bills and room rent is cheaper than an apartment any day.
2007-02-15 07:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know that it is your house but at the same time if he is contributing then he deserves some freedom, like not cleaning his room if he doesn't want to. YOU shouldn't clean it or anything but I don't think it's fair to make him clean it either. If there are dishes in there and stuff, tell him he'll have to clean those plates and eat dinner on them, etc. but don't set it up in a way that would cause a major fight. I think treating him like a little kid would be a horrible idea. If he has always been good then reward him a little! Most teenage guys don't clean their room, be grateful he's not doing something worse, pick your fights- and try to do something less directly related to cleaning his room like the plate thing or something like that.
2007-02-15 15:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it just his room that he leaves in a mess? Does he do his share of housework out in the "living" areas of the home? In my opinion a bedroom is "personal space," and considering he is doing his share with paying the household bills, then allow him to have his space how he likes it. Eventually he will clean it up on his own. Besides, it's his room, if he wants to live like a pig, so be it....it's not like you spend your time in there just tell him to keep the door closed. But if he leaves a 'trail' around the whole house....tell him to shape up or ship out! That is when he is invading everyone's space with his mess....and that's not acceptable!!
2007-02-15 16:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cblack22 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One thing that worked for me was that I "lost" something. My room was always a mess, and I always put it off, until one day I couldn't find a very important paper I had done for school (I was in High School, way back when). I turned my room upside down, was not able to find it, and then got a sarcastic remark from my mom telling me that none of that would have happened if I was organized. I begged for her help, and *poof* she found my paper. I became a lot more organized after that, because I took that as a lesson.
A couple of years later I figured my mom sneaked into my room, and hid the paper to prove her point. She fessed up to it, but I thank her instead.
2007-02-15 15:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by rafa922 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As long as he is paying part of the bills, the room is his. He owns it. It is no longer yours to ensure it is clean. I think it is one of those situations where if you don't like what you see, close the door.
2007-02-15 16:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is my theory, take it or leave it, but if i were paying a share of household bills in my parent's house (i have been out of my parent's house for 4 1/2 years now. im 22) but i think i would have felt like, if i were paying part of the house ('my' room) would me 'mine' to do what i please. and im sure if that were the case for me, i probably would have used this argument with my parents. and on the one hand (maybe its just me) there is some logic to that theory. but it is still YOUR HOUSE and he wouldnt be living in it if it werent for you.
here's what i think you should do...
remind him that its YOUR house and tell him if he wants to live his own lifestyle (messy) he should move out.
then leave it in his hands. prepare yourself for him to STILL not clean his room, as he probably wont.
then remind YOURSELF that he IS paying his share of bills, and not freeloading like so many kids do these days. and learn how to deal with it, or maybe clean it for him every once in a while (my dad had a cleaning lady, and i always loved coming home from school to a clean room)
i really hope this helps.
2007-02-15 16:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Blenderhead 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's an adult. If you are really upset about the state of his room, then start taking things from him. Treat him like a little child, until he cleans his own room. But, after all he is an adult. You should talk to him and tell him that he is 19, and needs to be looking for somewhere to live. He needs to move out. If he doesnt, then he could not mature...
2007-02-15 15:31:52 · answer #7 · answered by drainingrose 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Close the door and stop going in there. When he runs out of clothes and clean sheets, he will do something different. When mine were younger, I went into each of their rooms with a yard rack to pull stuff out from under their beds and get it in a pyle in the middle of the room. They had to stay there until it was cleaned up. But at his age, you are limited to what you can do. Stop cleaning it
2007-02-15 15:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by Miki M 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The thing is nobody likes cleaning there room and if he doesnt learn now he might not ever clean it and everything will get a mess and he will b mad because he cant find anything threaten him such as to clean his room or no cell phone tv, no going out and things like that then he might actually do it
2007-02-15 15:36:28 · answer #9 · answered by lexi b 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, I know I hate cleaning my room, I think it is my room and it shouldn't matter because I only have to be in it. But you could try taking away privilages or telling him to move out if he won't clean his room, which may be too harsh. Why isn't he in college/university anyway?
2007-02-15 15:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by smileforawile 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋