I have a 5 year old daughter and I'm too selfish to have another baby.?

Question

I was raised as an only child and I always wished to of at least had a brother or sister.

I've been thinking about having another baby lately but I've gotten really comfortable with how things are now.
I love my daughter very much and spend lots of time with her but I also love having a personal life too and having another baby would take away that freedom.

Also, my daughter has been asking me why she doesn't have a brother or sister because she says all of her friends do.
I feel guilty for putting my needs ahead of my child's but I don't want to live my life based on children. I'm only 26yrs old.
Any advice would help ??

Answer 1

I think that it is very mature to recognize that you don't want to have another child (selfish or not). Stay true to those feelings. When your daughter asks why she doesn't have siblings, tell her it is because you want to give her all of your love... or that it is because she is so wonderful that you don't need another.... something like that. It will turn her focus from wondering what she is lacking to thinking about what makes her special.

Good luck.

Answer 2

We had our 2nd baby , a girl, last year, 13 years after our son was born. We regret for not having the second child earlier. However, better late than never and we're really happy for her.

It's really nice for your child to have a sibling, someone to lean upon later when the parents -i.e.you- are older and probably not in a position to totally understand the specific requirements of a different age group. This will be especially true when she has life events.

However, don't feel you're selfish / guilty if you decide otherwise. Your child's happiness is not 100% dependent upon having a sibling and as long as you satisfy the physical / emotional / intellectual / spiritual needs of your child to a decent degree, this shouldn't be a big thing.

Answer 3

I don't think we can help but I think you should definately think about how your life is going to change. I have two kids now, one is six, the other is one and i am considering a third. It is a huge decision for me because of the changes that will need to be made. Going from one to two kids was not that bad, i still have a life and both me an my wire are very supportive when the other wants to hang out with friends and we have family that is very eager to help watch the kids. Having three kids will be a larger load but if we get it out of the way now (i am 26), we will be able to do more things when the kids move out.

Answer 4

Do what you feel is right. Don't have another baby just cause you think that your daughter wants a sibling.

You have to be up to the challenge of being pregnant and raising that child.

Answer 5

If you and your husband don't want another child, then don't have one. Children act on whims much of the time.
My older son wanted a baby brother until he got one. One day I heard him tell his little brother, "I wish I had never asked for you".

Answer 6

Continue to love your daughter. And things will go their natural way from there. A mother who is happy is the best mother in the world!

Answer 7

Having just one child is fine...I don't think you are being selfish...if you don't want any more kids don't have any. Not having another one is better then having one for all the wrong reasons

Answer 8

If you don't want another baby, don't have one. You are young and have plenty of time ahead of you if you want more children in the future.

Answer 9

You can get her to have neighbors & cousins to play with her.