My 2 year old just will not listen to me at all.?

Question

I know he hears me, but if I say "no" "stop" "put it back" etc...he will ignore what I say and continue on.
I m getting fed up with his behaviour as if he doesnt listen to me now, what will he be like a 5? 15?
Any ideas on how to make him listen?

Is it ok to spank, like on the butt or hand?

Answer 1

he will listen better when he is 5 and up. right now he is testing you. its what two year olds do. warn him that he will be punished if he does not listen to you. the second time in a row that this happens punish him. we usually put ours into time out for two min or until he stops crying it works. good luck and don't give in thats what he wants you to do and once he sees you cave its over.

Answer 2

Ok. Listen he is 2. Not 22. These is no YES or NO. Get tough. It is obvious that some of your behavior is inconsisent and he has gotten some wrong signals. So today is a new day. When you say yes it means yes. No means no. And stand by your answer. Believe me, it will be a really hard reality check but better now than a few years from now. I always counted to ten when a child begins to show their selves. He is still too young spank. Spanking does not really solve the problem he has anyway. He just needs to get his yes and no problem corrected. When you go to the store, tell him we are in the store for food or for buying tonight supper or the birthday party supplies or what ever. When he wants this toy or that, stop tell him no and why. Its not part of supper, its not part of the party. (This is just an example situation) But I hope you get the idea. Keep your decision don't change because he is showing off for the crowd. You are boss. Get eventive. Today my grandson who is now 5 has a serious problem with asking over and over until he gets his answer that he wants. So I said everything to him four or five times, he looked at me and said stop it, I don't like it when you do that. I looked at him and said neither does your mother when you do it to her. He started it again and we both, started saying everything over and over again. He stopped and has not done it again today. I believe it solved the problem. All the yelling that Mom has done, did not solve the problem but a suttle but effective peat and repeat did. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You child does not respect you. There is not enough detail here to say why or what you are doing wrong. Never back out of an answer you give a child, never back down from a no and do not let your child continue to do something it has been told not to do. A child of this age should do what what he/she is told and if they test you they must be put in their place right then. Time outs work great and so do naughty chairs. The child is placed in the time out when this happens. Do not respond to the childs questions or pleas when you do this. Put the child in the time out location tell the child: This is a time out for ______and it will last for XXminutes. The child is not to move until the minute are up. If the child moves they are put back in the same place, this is a time out you have choose, not them and if they move they are trying to regain some control over the situation by choosing where to take their time out and if this happens you lose again. When the child is done the time you go over and this is the time they have to tell you they are sorry. Once they say they are sorry you can give them a hug and tell them you love them. If they do not want to say sorry then they get another time out. The first time outs will be the hardest and your kid will test you, dont let them win. You need to gain control and respect right now because this is a very crucial age. I hope everything works out for you.

Remeber, do not let a child question you as to why you have asked them to do or told them to do something, you are the mother and they need to respect that. Never argue or reason with a child.

Answer 4

Ah, the terrible two's to soon be followed by the horrible threes. He is testing you to see how far he can go before you take action. 2 is a bit young to start spanking, but a light tap would probably do no harm. Spanking, contrary to Liberal think, is a good healthy means of getting your point across by the way so do not be afraid of it, just be mindful of the amount of force you use. Too much can cause physical harm. You need to be firm and repeat your demands. If he still seems to ignore you, do a time out. Pick him up and sit him down and make sure he sits until you are ready to allow him to move. Explain to him firmly why he is being punished and what is expected of him. Its hard when they are so young, but eventually they will learn, just be patient. If he crys, leave him have at it and cry, do not cave into him because that will teach him how to circumvent your parenting.

Answer 5

Don't just say it. Do something about it. Get up and remove the toy, pull him away from the trouble, or walk him in to put whatever it is away. He isn't listening because you aren't following through. You have to not let him ignore you. It WILL get worse at 5 and 15 if you don't follow through now. Right now he is testing his limits and trying to figure out what he can get away with. If you let him now, you will have a hard time keeping him straight later.

Answer 6

I am going through the same thing right now with my 3 yr old. We have found making sure we put him on a strict bed-time (even if it means ruining our plans) has helped. Also, make sure you are not giving him rewards for "normal" behavior, such as "if you eat your dinner, you'll get dessert", and no second chances (this was a BIG one for us). Tell him to do something once, making sure he hears you. If he doesn't do it, time-out, bedtime, or some other sort of consequence. One or two times going to bed hungry because you weren't acting properly at the dinner table has a HUGE effect. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Nope, none here - but just to let you know, I'm running into the same thing with my daughter, now 2 1/2. The only thing I can do is physically grab her attention. By that I mean going and physically taking her away from whatever she is doing that she shouldn't be, or that I've asked her not to. If just saying something doesn't work, you've obviously gotta do something else, or that behavior will continue. I'm still working on it though!

Answer 8

I have the same problem with my almost 3 yr old! I have tried to give him time-outs in his bedroom, but he just plays up there or destroys something. Many times when he has done something he knows he shouldn't have, he just walks right up to his bedroom and shuts the door. He even locks me out of his room. I have even given him a swat on the butt but now he thinks it is okay to hit me.

I know you have probably heard this before, but I have had success with counting to 3. Sounds too simple to work ,but for many things it does work. The first time I did it was when he would not get out of the tub and kept splashing water and throwing toys at me. I told him if he didn't get out I was going to get him out. I counted to 3 and picked him up out of the tub. He cried for a long time. I think the key to this working is that the first time has to have an impact and you have to find your childs button (my son has to do things himself-get cereal out of the box, put his pants on, get a book etc) so I can use the 3 minute rule for anything I know he would really like to do himself and tell him if he doesn't I will do it for him. I also use this 3 minute rule for timeouts - If he doesn't stop by the time I count to 3 then he will go up to his room.

Of course, like I said, the timeouts are not working very well for me yet. However, I purchased a cheap colorful throw rug and a kitchen timer with big numbers and loud ring. I am starting to actually time his time outs with the timer placed in a spot he can see. The rug is for him to sit on, the rule is he cannot leave the rug until the timer rings. I am hoping this will work better than his room because he won't be able to play with anything. Also, it is portable, when we travel to friends and family, I can still give him a timeout on his same rug and with his same timer.

Just my thoughts on this subject. I had to answer since I have currently been trying to deal with the same problem as you.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Hun, my 2 year old daughter is the same way. Spanking on the butt is ok, just don't spank hard. I end up having to "threaten" to spank and she will listen then. You could try putting him in time out if he doesn't listen....like sitting on the couch doing nothing for 5 minutes. You could also take away his toys when he doesn't listen too. Both have worked with my daughter. The thing to remember is that he is just 2 and all 2 year olds do the same thing. Its not a trend that is going to get worse as he gets older. You just have to practice what you preach. If you say you are going to spank on the count of 3, make sure and do it.

***I'm glad some of you think you can raise your child and never have to spank them. Good luck with that. All I am saying is that you have to stick to your word. If you tell your child that you are going to leave the grocery store and take them home if they don't quit acting up, then you better do it. Your child has to know who's boss. Otherwise he or she will run all over you. I really don't like to spank, and personally prefer not to do it, but when my daughter throws a toy at me because shes mad, and I have exhausted every other option, and she still throws it at me time and time again, at some point its time to spank. If you never stick to your word and hold your end of the bargain up, your child will grow up being a terror, and will never respect or mind you.

Answer 10

The second he disobeyes your order, remove him and put him in the playpen for 2 minutes. Remove the toy he was going after. You need to be consistent with this for it to work, which may mean a lot of time on your part, but once he gets it, maybe he'll come around. Good luck to you, 2 is a hard age!

Answer 11

He's testing you! What you need to do is give him one chance to do what you said if he doesn't listen pop him on the butt! I bet that will get his attention and he'll start to realize that he can't do what ever he wants. You just have to stick with it. If you don't do something now it will get worse! I see it all the time.