How do you balance motherhood with being a wife?

Question

How does everyone do it?! Cleaning, cooking, working part-time from home, and a ten month old comprise my life. How do you other moms balance everything? I want to spend as much time with my daughter as possible, but what about housework and cooking? I also work part-time, and let my daughter watch videos or play in the room while I work. I feel so guilty... I don't know what to do to better care for her.

Answer 1

It would be great if your child had siblings, cousins, nearby friends, or relatives to play with when she is a year or two older.

It can be rough the first year, because the child can't interact much with other kids.

Cut yourself some slack and don't try to be perfect. You'll have more time as she gets older.

Also, life would seem "great" if hubbies could find jobs that would allow a family to live on one income.

Answer 2

Well, I'd like to know how "part-time" is part-time? I work outside of my home full-time, and still have time to be a loving wife and mother. I've been a wife for 17 years and a mother for 16 of those. Not to mention, my youngest (11 yrs. old) has special needs! So, I have to balance all of their needs as well as balancing the time I spend at work, cooking, cleaning, my eldest son's extracurricular activites, my youngest sons doctor and specialists visits, etc., etc., etc.

Is there a way that you can work when she's taking a nap or when she goes to bed for the night? This way, you'd have more time during the day for spending quality time with your daughter and housework. You could also cook and/or clean while she's napping. There are many possibilities . . . .

How do I do it? I ask myself once in a while . . . . I guess it's just commitment and managing my time. I tend to double up on my cooking--I'd freeze an equal portion for another meal. I try to shop for groceries at least once a week--usually at a 24-hour grocery store. On my days off and evenings, I make myself give myself to each of my sons and my husband, do laundry, cleaning is shared by all of us--I still do the brunt of it--but it does get done! And, no matter what day of the week it is, we always have dinner together. That's when we all go over our day--quality time; talk and laugh and have discussions.

I never thought I could do it on my own; I never had the help from either sides of our families (my own and my in-laws). But, I did it by committing myself since it was our choice to have a family. Don't get me wrong, though, because sometimes I feel there's not enough hours in a day. But, I manage my time by prioritizing my long list of "to-dos". It can and will be done. Good luck!

Answer 3

i wish i could work p/t
i have pans for some at home stuff so eventually i can stop working f/t away from home!!
hubby and i both work f/t and he is military, so in about 2-3 weeks he'll be deploying for 6 months!!! that's when the tricky part happens.
gosh, things feel like a breeze when we are working regular hours and we're both around. it's when he's gone that things get hard.

we have a 5 month old and it does get tricky, but here are some things that i/we do to make them easier....

first,
i have a list of food main dishes and side dishes that we make and like. it hangs on the fridge. each sunday i sit down and plan the meals for the week. then, i make up my shopping list based on that menu and what we need like lunch foods, breakfast stuff and consumables, like paper towels, which should get added to a list throughout the week.
SO! that takes care of "what to have for dinner" and last minute shopping trips to the store! it's AWESOME!

then, each night whoever gets home first starts dinner. the recipes are in a box on the counter and are all pretty easy.
a great website that i rely on is www.quickeatsplus.com this guy has AWESOME garlic lemon chicken and balsamic cordon bleu!

whoever isn't cooking spends time with the baby. then, after dinner they do the clean-up and dishes and the cook plays with the baby and puts him to bed.

if there's time someone will take the dog for a walk, toss in a load of laundry, run the vacuum,...anything small that can get done in a jiffy.

then, as soon as the baby is asleep, we cuddle and spend time together! lately, we have been opening a bottle of wine and drinking a glass while we laugh at american idol. it's relaxing and nice to just have time together.

then, around 10pm we go to bed.

OH! i forgot to mention that while i take the baby grocery shopping on sundays, my husband stays home and cleans....the whole house.

now, when he's deployed this will change in that my dinners won't be so complex, will probably happen after the baby is asleep and i will clean throughout the week and walk the dog on weekends...poor guy!

i guess the big key is getting organized. evaluate your life and what's important and try to get a system in place to make it work.

as for being a mother and a wife....you just do it. :)

have you considered a play group for he while you work?? maybe a friend who has a child close in age can watch her while you work and she'll get some social activity! of course, you'd pay the other mom a fee......

take care.

Answer 4

Housework is a job all on it's own. We just think we have to do, do , do. Which we do to keep a clean house. And we have to cook because we have to eat. But I learned how to balance that. I work full time in have 3 kids. If I didn't I would be stressed out everyday. I learned to live by a schedule in sometimes it gets broken because things come up. But for the norm of things I learned how to cook a big meal enough to last for 2 nights. That way I don't have to cook every night of the week. And house cleaning I don't do any thing major during the week. On Fridays if were planning to go somewhere on Saturday morning I make sure the house is clean Friday night. Things like that I had to learn how I could have more freer time for me and my kids.There's nothing wrong for what your doing, just maybe you need a schedule for House cleaning , cooking learn how to limit those things in don't stress out over them I don't mean leave your cloths pile up were you have 10 loads of laundry or dishes in the sink because I don't. Every night my dishes are done. But my point to you is you need to learn how to limit the big staff. Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has some really good books out.

Answer 5

Schedule your time and your daughther's time for the entire day. By taking a good hard look with how much of something is going on, you can then evaluate it if it works.

Letting your daughter have some TV/video time isn't bad (say half hour to hour a day). Letting her sit in front of the TV for four or five hours is bad. Bad for her as she expects to do this all the time, bad for you because you feel guilty.

Learn to live with some things undone. IF that means the kitchen floor isn't mopped every night, so be it! Most people can deal with pulling their clean laundry from a basket too. There are some things which are not as important.

Also, schedule time with your husband, alone time. Make the time quality. By planning ahead, you'll notice some differences and feel more in control of your life.

Answer 6

First, all loving mothers are way too hard on themselves.Try not to feel so guilty, at least you are present. You have to choose what chores can wait and let your home look like a loving mother lives there. I'm not saying stop cleaning all together,but there will always be dishes,laundry,etc. Your child on the other hand will grow up,become independent,move out etc. Enjoy your child and your life. Don't forget time to meet your own needs too.

Answer 7

Being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world...I don't think I would be able to handle things if it wasn't for my husband. He is always helpful. When he comes home from work he helps out by cooking sometimes, helping clean up, or just watching after the kids while I do it. So, you should definitly ask your husband to help out a little more around the house. It shouldn't be completely left up to you. After all it is his home and child too.

Answer 8

I am sure most will not agree with my answer but there is a simple fact most do not want to look at. There is only 24 hours in a day and how we choose to invest those hours determines the life we have and the choices we make. I was raised by a full time mother. She was there to see I was off to school and there when I got home to see how my day went. Because of this I felt loved and safe each day allowing me to grow up in a safe and trusting state of mind. So the question I ask you is how do you want your kids to grow up? Kids are the future of the world and there for loving and caring for our kids it the most important job we have as parents. So to think you can do the job of raising kids with a part time effort is a bit silly. So my answer to your question is no you can not be a working woman or man and work full time with out sacrificing the children you chose to bring into the world. Remember you chose to have children with all the rights and responsibilities that demands. So you need to choose to do the job right and be a full time parent as your first jobs and let the rest of the world take care of itself.

Answer 9

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. And keep in mind that your daughter has to learn to be her own person, which means that as hard as it is not to be with her every second of the day, you have to let her have her space (I know this sounds funny for such a little one). The point is, you can't be with your daughter round the clock. Of course you're her mother and you to take care of her, but you also need to care for yourself and the things you need to get done in your life. Handling your other responsibilities and obligations doesn't make you a bad mother.

Answer 10

Your hubby should pitch in to help, if he doesn't then he is a loser...also, don't feel guilty about working, you need to provide for her...take care of yourself as well, though...I purposely work outside of the home...I need somewhere that I don't have to be someone's mother or wife, I need my own identity sometimes...It doesn't make me less of a mother or wife, it actually makes me appreciate my time with my family more...