been seeing him for a year he got alot of issues that i have tried so hard to help him with,but i dont seem to be getting anywhere.he decided a few weeks ago that he just wanted us to be friends i refused at first as i cant be in love with him and just be friends, but i thought anything was better than nothing so i agreed he has said that he does'nt want to stop seeing me,i see him once a week but he texts me everyday but i am so miserable the whole time im not with him and just wait for him to text me ,i feel so pathetic im a grown women and spend all my time wanting to be with him.and waiting for him to text me,my life is on hold and im fed up of being so utterley miserable all the time, we are going out on sat night so do i tell him no more texts ? and not see him again ? even the thought of it tears me apart or do i just carry on as they are in the hope that things will get better ? i honestly didnt believe that you could love someone so much i just thought it happened in films
2007-02-15 06:25:10 · 21 answers · asked by demmi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's not going to change if you put up with this type of treatment. you need to break if off completely. if you stand up for yourself and stick to it, he may change. but i dont' think he will
2007-02-15 06:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by 2girlsmommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get Out! I hate to say it, but when someone holds on to a person after breaking up with them, its usually an attempt to have a back up plan if other plans dont go according to plan. You sound like a very sincere person, and it isnt fair that you spend all of your time waiting on this guy. I know you say you love him, and a lot of it prolly has to do with the fact that youve helped him through stuff, but the truth is there comes a point when you have to be receiving some kind of benefit from the relationship too. It doesnt sound like he makes you feel too important, except for once a week or so when he "needs" you. You need to build up that self esteem. These emotions you are spending on a guy that, quite frankly, isnt giving you the time of day should really be spent on the man who is out there waiting for a woman he can treat like a princess. I know it may sound corny, but you are that person for some guy, maybe its this guy and he doesnt realize it, but waiting around for him hand and foot isnt gonna help him see that either. Things will never get better if you let them be. Love is a crazy thing, people have sung songs which will tell you the same thing, but sometimes you have to recognize a bad relationship and cut your losses. Youll be amazed at how quickly your love fades away when you meet a MAN who can treat you like you should be treated.
2007-02-15 14:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by YouKnowImRight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him what you have said here...that it is too hard for you to just be friends with him after having so much more. Tell him that maybe in time you will be able to be his friend, but for now you need to move on with your life.
It sounds like you are a little codependent. He has a lot of issues and you want to help fix him. I have been there and know how hard it is to lose someone who you are in love with.
I think it would help you to not see him and to try to keep yourself busy with other friends/family and maybe think about some casual dating.
It would seem to me that he is trying to keep his options open with you, while exploring his options for dating other women. In the end, it will be more painful for you if he finds someone else while you are still holding out for more. Try to break it off and move on. If he comes back with a change of heart, set some boundaries with him as far as what your relationship is.
2007-02-15 14:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away, sometihng is wrong. If it is one sided why hurt yourself. I bet he is the one that says...yes we can see each other next saturday. He makes all the rules tells you when you 2 are going out. You just sit there like a dog waiting for him. This is no way to live. Something is wrong. Life is way too short to sit around and wait. Find another guy. This one is not the right one. Love should NEVER hurt. GET OVER HIM move on
2007-02-15 14:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by just me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, darlin'. Been there done that. But unfortunately you're not really a "grown woman" until you've learned to deal with this. It happens to all but the luckiest of people. It happens more than once to most people. Fortunately (and sadly, in a way) it gets easier each time, as you learn you really can live with it and move on.
Speaking of moving on, get moving. He's taking advantage of you now. He's getting the dose of you that HE wants, and denying you the dose of him that YOU want. (I assume you're normal and not some kind of clingy psycho!)
You need and deserve a mate whose appetite for you matches your appetite for him. Get back in the game. There are 150 million men in the USA. If you quit feeling sorry for yourself and start looking, you'll find one or more who entertains you. Eventually you'll start thinking more about other men and stop obsessing over Mr. Semi-dumper.
Good luck!
2007-02-15 14:41:10 · answer #5 · answered by RH Arizona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry honey, this is really hard. I think the best thing for you to do would be to make a clean break. The possibility of hearing from him on a day to day basis just makes it impossible for you to get over him. Stop all contact and then give yourself some time to grieve. After that, pick yourself up and get on with your life. You will be happier in the end.
2007-02-15 14:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not pathetic at all but you do need to take stock of this situation as it's becoming unhealthy and making you depressed.
Tell him how you feel and if he still wishes to remain friends then I would tell him you cannot be 'just friends' as it's tearing you apart. it is also not fair on you to have your life on hold just in hope that he will change his mind.
Cut your losses and move on. It wont be easy and will hurt alot BUT you deserve better than this.
get out with friends and start socialising and making yourself available for dates again!
2007-02-15 14:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something similer has happened to me cept it was with e-mail. Everyday after work i sat by the computer with my lunch reading my e-mail and feeling that i would never move on! But my friends prompted me to go out and i did. And i met the most beautiful woman who i am happilt engaged to.Give it time anf if you don't find someone else then tell him how you feel. you might hear it everyday but he might feel the same way.
PS. No offence but a leopard can't change its spots. If you try a bit harder to accept him as himself you might get along better. If you are reading this e-mail me and tell me if it worked.
Best Regards, Stevie K
2007-02-15 14:36:28 · answer #8 · answered by Steve k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every thing you just asked us you need to tell him. Communicate with him, you must love him to wait for his texts. This is hard for you i'm sure. Don't tell him it's over or no more texts unless your sure you want to deal with the outcome, Communication is key here. Let him know how you feel. Good luck i hope everything works out for you.
2007-02-15 14:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by aphotic nostrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think out of respect for yourself you must end this relationship. It's doing you much more harm than good. It's not fair on you to be in a relationship where you love him more than he loves you. Find someone who is worthy of your love and who will treat you like you are the only girl in the world. Trust me, you will get over him.
2007-02-15 14:34:01 · answer #10 · answered by pigletsam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he is not all that into you stop short-changing yourself and allowing him to use you as he has a mind. ang out with some other friends get a hobby or otherwise occupy yourself and stop wasting time mooning over him.
Don't mean to be harsh but from where I am sitting it is time for you to move on and get a life.
2007-02-15 14:34:23 · answer #11 · answered by pretty face 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋