Horrible Valentintes Day?

Question

I've been seeing my ex for one month now. We broke up last year. Anyway, we decided to go out to dinner on Valentines and I chose the restaurant. I was only in a relationship with him for 7 months so this would have been our first Valentines. He wants to take things slow and be friends, but I thought I would at least have been treated to a special day. He paid for dinner and got me a card. When he drove me home, I thought (foolishly) that he would surprise me with roses or a gift. I got him cologne as a surprise. Well he didn't, and needless to say I feel so stupid. I called him and asked him why he didn't even think of flowers and he said he did but they were all sold out. He said he wants to make it up to me, but I feel like he's lost his chance. He should have been prepared as any other man would have been. He should have made me feel special last night, not next time. DO you think it was enough that he took me to dinner? Also, the card was very unsincere.

Answer 1

You know what hon? He'll never make you happy because your expectations of things aren't at the same level as his. If you stay with him, expect to be treated at his level, not yours. Men don't deviate from this level, unless they have done something terribly wrong and are trying to compensate. Find a guy who enjoys your level! They are out there! Why do you think all the flowers were sold out!

Answer 2

It seems that he tried with the dinner thing. Maybe he's just one of those last minute guys and he wasn't able to get you anything good because he went out too late. That's ok. My parents have been married 25 years and my dad gets presents for my mom the day of her birthday or Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day isn't really that important but if you think that it's important and you would like to be treated special on that day, let your new boyfriend/ex know. Straight out!! Tell him to his face that it's important and you wanted to be treated very special that night. No hints. If he doesn't seem to care what you think or whether it's important, maybe he's just not the right one for you. I don't think that dating him for a month and then putting all the weight of the relationship on this one night is a good idea. Valentine's Day just isn't that important to everyone and your boyfriend may be one of the people who feels this way. If he is, he probably assumed you didn't care either. And I'd say you got a pretty good deal with him just taking you out to dinner.

Edit: I felt the need to tell you that I got a little bag of Lindt chocolates last night. No card, no flowers, no dinner. But I was so happy with that little bag. Why? Because those are my favorite chocolates and he knows it because he listens to every stupid little thing I say. In that way, he SHOWED that loves me. No words necessary.

Don't worry about the flowers or cards that he gets you. That may not be his forte. Worry about whether he SHOWS you that he cares. And if he says he wants to take things slow and then he actually does take things slow, you may need to back off and give him some space.

Answer 3

A little needy are we?
If I were able to spend an evening with the one I love, Just the two of us, and really enjoyed the time with him, and he was enjoying his time with me, what more could you want?
Gifts are temporary and not necessarily sincere.

A guy could give you all the "things" you want but act bored with you, or check out other girls, or be on his cell phone, or whatever. The thing that matters most is what's in his heart. If it's love, the presents don't matter.

Answer 4

Some guys are just not good at this valentine stuff. I guess the fact that he took you to dinner was good. The card was probably a last minute thing and he never took the time to read it. I have learned not to expect anything, that way I am not disappointed when I don't get anything.

Answer 5

Wow if he wanted to just take things so and be friends than your ruining it by expecting something more, seriously I don't know if I would have even taken someone out to dinner that I'm just friends with and If I were him there wouldn't be a next time...your not together if he just wants to be friends Wake up girl and move on...You sound like you already know what you want ...Move On.

Answer 6

I have been with my husband for 10 years and I have gotten 1 bouquet of flowers in that 10 years. I may not have gotten many flowers, but what I did get is a wonderful man who pays the bills, does homework with his step son, tells me he loves me on a daily basis and does everthing he can to make us happy. It's all about what we give each other emotionally, not store bought crap.

Answer 7

I would just be glad that he realized he sort of messed up. What was the card like??? I wanted to feel special last night and i did, but i have to say, us girls tend to get our hopes up....especially with valentine's day. i had my first v-day with my boyfriend as well.... To make you feel better, at least you did all you can do.

Answer 8

I think attitudes like yours are why so many men dread Valentine's day...instead of appreciating they have a partner who cares about them, some women make the day all about "how much did he spend on me" or "what did he get me".

Gifts and expressions of caring should be given because they are felt, not because a day on the calendar says you're obliged to do so or your partner will get mad at you.

Answer 9

I thought the card & the dinner was good enough, but I don't see how flowers were sold out EVERYWHERE.

Answer 10

YOU blew it! He didn't! What part of taking things slow did you not understand?

I'd say "see ya" and never look back at YOU if I were him! And how dare you try to expect something from him & punish him for being honest with you - slow means slow... shame on you!