How do you discilpine an 11 year old girl for lying???

Question

Help, my 11 yr old step-daughter has a problem with lying...about everything from homework to what she eats and to lies that really cause problems for the whole family. Right now all she gets is reading, she has to read when on punishment but now it doesn't bother her....HELP

Answer 1

I have a 10 year old girl, who gets spankings when she lies, however she hasn't lied for quite some time because like all kids, she hates spankings. However I don't recommend you doing them since your not her mother. I might whisper that little bug in her father ear though. Lying is a direct spanking offense in my home. Ideally, If she lies again, report it to her father, and he should give her a spanking. Once he does this enough times, she will start getting the picture.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Here is what you do, if you are opposed to spanking her lying behind, of course:

Ground her for at least one week. This means NO phone, computer, TV, video games, afterschool activities (except for sports/drama or something where others will suffer). This also means no teen magazines or anything else "fun" for reading. Then give her the collected works of Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, and Dante as her only forms of entertainment. Make her do chores around the house such as setting the table, cleaning up after dinner, weeding or shovelling (depending on where you live!), cleaning bathrooms, etc.

Personally, I always behaved because of the threat of being beaten. I know thats just me and not all parents work like that but the only other punishment I received was similar to the above. You must stay firm, you are the PARENT!!!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Reading just shouldn't be a punishment. Literacy is one of the single most important things in a person's life. Reading ... though she may not like it will be so very important. A punishment should be having things taken away that are not necessities, they are luxuries or privileges for her. Every time she has started to take having those luxuries/privileges (ie: t.v., iPOD, computer time) for granted, take them away. Don't take them away for 2 hours, take them away until she understands that what she's done is absolutely wrong and that you won't tolerate it. It's not to say that she won't ever lie again, especially as an adult, but while she's under your care and a minor, she will learn that the same thing will happen when she misbehaves. Good luck with this.

Answer 4

NEVER use reading as punishment. Good lord, she needs reading in school, and could enjoy it as a pass-time. What you are doing is taking away all enjoyment of reading.

I would ground her; take away all privileges...no TV, no computer, no phone. (She doesn't have to read, but she may elect to do so.) Since she'll have nothing to do, the homework should get done. Have her eat with the family; no lies there if she's in front of you.

And if she continues to lie about homework...do what I did. Contact each teacher and have them send home a note with what the assignment for the day is. No note - they go back into school and get it. We did this and signed each stating that we received it, and that homework was done. That shaped up my son real quick.

Answer 5

An eleven year could write a 200 word essay on why its wrong to lie and a letter of apology would be appropriate. A long talk about the motivation for lying might also be in order. Perhaps she is trying to get attention (in this case negative attention).What is the underlying cause? or check out the book below

Answer 6

She's enjoying all the attention she's getting for lying. Stop feeding her attention for her negative behaviors and she'll stop doing them. Encourage & reinforce her good behaviors so she'll replace those with lying. Punishing her obviously isn't working. Taking away her privillages such as t.v., the telephone, the internet, and time to play with friends should give her a better sense of responsibility and she'll begin to "own-up" to her own actions.

Answer 7

She's probably acting out because of something going on at school.
Although you do have to punish her for the lying. Like maybe no phone, no computer, and no friends coming over for at least 3 days.
Explain to her the at every time she lies the more days your going to add. Find out what's going on with her classmates and teachers, maybe she's being picked on. good luck!!

Answer 8

if you believe in God and practice like ten commandents
Explain to her it is a sin to lye Gods knows all. and either you (MOther) WIll punish her or God will. Look on the new and news paper and find an article or story someone was in trouble for lying was arrested or went to court that will stop it.

I know i tried it with my daughter

Answer 9

Show her what it feels like.

Find something she really wants, or asks for...or a place she wants to go and hype her up for days or even weeks over it letting her think she's going to get it.

At the last second, tell her you were just lying about letting her have what she wanted or letting her go where she wanted to go.

Then ask her how it felt to be lied to.

Make sure it isn't something minor either...you may have to wait a while, but the opportune moment will present itself for something big eventually.

It works. Trust me....it's nasty but it works.

Answer 10

reading is not punishment. Take away a privilege that is important to her (friends, phone, computer, TV etc)