How to make other people understand the seriousness of anxiety?

Question

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacs most of adult life.
I am quite sure anyone with this diagnosis know how hard, difficult and "life limiting" this condition is.

I just want to know other peoples experiences on how to make other people (partner and family especially!) understand your condition and what you are going through. I get so much of the "calm down", "relax" and "it can not possible be that bad" , "just think positive" attitude.
I feel it`s very hard to talk to other people about this and it`s difficult to make them understand how much it effects my life.

Answer 1

I feel the same way. I get so frustrated trying to explain why I can't stop even though I know that my "what if" thinking isn't rational, and how ill I feel to my core all of the time. I want my fiance to understand how crazy my mind is, I want him to know how obsessive and intrusive these thoughts are.

As desparately as you want people to understand, it's probably even harder for others to know what it feels like to be so anxious than it is for us to understand what it would be like to be anxiety free. I'm not sure that anyone could understand completely, but even a little would be such a relief.

I am entering 4th year Clinical Psychology, and during these years of schooling I have NEVER seen anyone as affected by seeing others suffer as they do when they watch videos on the disorder. There are some great ones out there. They drill the point home, and show the range of disability in people (I've seen some students cry afterwards).

If you ask the people that you care about to sit with you and watch a video showing how much others suffer from anxiety, it will be much harder to dismiss yours. The people interviewed are often much better at expressing how it feels too.

If you also suffer from depression, I just watched a great movie called beating the black dog http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/content/2004/s1196142.htm
I don't know any on anxiety off hand, but you will probably be able to borrow videos from the library, or go to the psychology dept of your local university and ask them. Just make sure that the movies are current so you don't end up laughing about that 80s hair!

Good luck to you. Also, you may want to look into some of the new meds that they are experimenting with. Gabapentin was actually helping quite a bit and has almost no side effects. I stopped taking it because it was pricey, but I'm going to give it a try again because calming down is worth it. Anti-depressants are usually bad news for anxiety, even though they are often prescribed by it.

Answer 2

Its hard to make anyone understand.I suffer with that too.I wake up early every morning of my life sweating and shaking from anxiety and also I hate to go out in public,I have suffered all my life even as a child with anxiety and yes I have had some really bad panic attacks.No one gets it.My life has become where I stay in the house the majority of the time because Im so freaked out about going anyplace.When I have any kind of appointment The anxiety starts way beforehand.It can destroy your life if you dont fight the hell out of it.Its not a calm down type of situation,its like you cant control it at all. at least just know you are not alone alot of people suffer with this its just a shame noone understands cause they dont feel it they dont know how bad it is.

Answer 3

I read the responses to two of your questions along these lines. I didn't see any responses that I considered insulting or unreasonable. If you have trouble dealing with responses along these lines, I would remind you that, under normal circumstances, people talk on autopilot and aren't really concentrating on what they're saying. In informal situations, emotions are communicated through tone of voice and body language -- NOT through content -- so it is difficult to accurately ascribe any emotion at all to a brief internet post. EDIT: You seem to be getting a bunch of advice on social interactions from people with Asberger's Syndrome, which is probably not the best place to get advice on that particular topic. It is *not* socially acceptable to go on a tirade against people who are kidding around, calling them "extremely opinionated idiots" who "have no life," and the people who are encouraging you to think this way are not doing you any favors if you want to improve your integration into mainstream society. Always keep this in mind: it is *very* rare for a normal person to be actively hostile towards a complete stranger, or even an acquaintance. If you think someone is saying something mean or hurtful to you, and this person does not have a history with you, I'm going to go ahead and say that you're wrong. Of course it's not true 100% of the time, but you'll do a lot better assuming that nobody is out to get you than that everyone is. One of the most fundamental social skills is the ability not to hold people in contempt. I hope you'll make an effort toward this end.

Answer 4

I just wanted to let you know I understand. I have had panic attackks and anxiety attacks. No one understands how frightening it can be unless they have been there. My husband finally had an anxiety attac so he understands a little more now. Mine is usually usually from my nerves or pain meds the Dr. put me on after surgeries. When I feel one coming on I try real hard to get my mind onto something else. I found reading the Bible helps a lot or praying.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you're suffering. But rather than make other people understand, why not take steps (drug-free ways) to control it? A healthy diet that naturally raises serotonin and endorphin levels and balances blood sugar is going to improve your anxiety by 75%.
Seeing an endocrinologst to balance your hormones (especially if you're a woman) will probably take care of the other 20%. Then working to re-train your mind to react differently will get you back to 100%. This could take about 6 months, but I'm sure you'd feel it's worth it.
Without getting your body fit, you will never be able to "think positive" or "calm down" because your heart is pounding, you're feeling dizzy, you feel trapped and need to escape, and nothing is any fun because you're so worried about having a panic attack.

Answer 6

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 7

I have never been able to adequately express the fear and panic that occurs when I feel that way. I have never really gotten what I needed from a partner until recently. My new fiance seems to understand my feelings and will just hold and stroke me until I can calm down. My ex-husband never understood and would say things that just made it worse - Until I left him and HE started having panic attacks. Then, he understood and would call me in tears telling me that he couldn't breathe and felt like he was dying. He told me that he finally understood how much panic attacks hurt and scare you.

I think that unless a person has personal experience with panic attacks they just can't understand the fear and physical symptoms that happen - or how to help someone who is having a panic attack get through it.

Answer 8

I have suffered generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder throughout my childhoold and into my adult life. All of which I have learnt to cope with and manage through understanding and applying solutions (I'm not a believer in long term use of medications. I use visualisation and other means to deal and live a "normal" life) People who have not experienced it nor encountered it are just ignorant to it. I would suggest doing research and giving them factual information (get brochures or print out studies you find online) to help them understand that it is a real thing. Through that knowledge they can help you cope and find therapeutic solutions so that you can deal with it.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

thats a tuff one, but i know exactally what you mean. i have had social anxiety sense i was in highschool...( im scared of people) its really hard and sucks. i dont have many friends because i cant get myself to talk to people. i couldnt go to a store by myself... no matter what the store is. couldnt order my own food at fast food places. i would have panic attacks; nervouse, sweating, hot flashes, i would even throw up. the only thing i can say is i know how bad it sucks, but no one will ever understand unless they have it. its the same thing as if one of your parents die, no one will ever know what its like to go through that until it happens to them no matter what they say.keep being strong, and no matter how hard the situation is 4 u make ur self do it. you will never overcome your anxiety until you fource yourself to do the things that are hard for you.

Answer 10

I understand you... I have the same problem and i don't think that anyone who hasn't expirienced it himself could understand it... Some ppl are supportive, some aren't.. Stick to the first ones and try to organize your life as it suits you...

I also hate the 'relax' and 'don't worry over nothing' advices : )

Best wishes!