a friend of mine was almost full term with her pregnancy. Unfortunatly there was a complication. I want to send her something to let her know that I'm thinking of her and that better days are ahead. What is best? Flowers are obvious but I wanted to send something unique.
2007-02-15 05:52:09 · 21 answers · asked by life126 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Send her a gift certificate for a day at the spa. She needs some pampering right now, but not a lot of socializing. The spa would offer that!
2007-02-15 06:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's never appropriate to let someone who is grieving know that "Better days are ahead" what that does is minimize their pain in your eyes. Or it makes them feel you are discounting their loss.
Right now, it's all about her and not what creative gift you send. Though, a memory box, something small, maybe with the baby's name engraved on the top of it, might allow her a place to put a few cherished mementos of the baby....special gifts she recd. sonograms, cards, her own thoughts or feelings.
But whatever you send, dont' say "It'll get better." Just say how sorry you are for her heartbreaking loss and how you don't know if you can be a shoulder for her to lean on in her time of sorrow, but that you are always there if she needs you.
That's all you need to say. It WILL get better for her down the line but for now she is probably consumed by the loss. Let her feel that.
2007-02-15 14:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think gifts are always appropriate, especially if you don't know how religious they are. (I am an atheist and sometimes am offended when people "pray" for me, offer words of encouragement about God, things like that.) I've found the most meaningful things a person can do for a friend in situations like this is to just be there. Don't ASK what you can do for them, don't SAY that you're there. Just DO things for them. Bring them a dinner. Go grocery shopping for them, do their laundry, etc. People have a hard time reaching out when they need help, and don't ask for most of what they need. Just do normal everyday things for them that might be neglected while they're grieving.
2007-02-19 01:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by It's Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard one hun. If she is a Christian or believes in angels, a tiny little angel is very nice along with the flowers. If possible one of the best things to do is to call her and just let her talk...don't say things like, time heals all wounds (it does but when you are in that place, it does not seem like it ever will). Don't try and change the subject if she wants to talk about the baby...that is something she must do. Bless you for your love and kindness to another.
PEG
2007-02-15 13:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The most appropriate gift is your frienship during a difficult time. Why do you want to give her something to remind her of this time in her life ? Just be her friend, give her space and time to deal with this and when she is ready to do something then you can pick up the tab a time or two. Letting her know you are there for her and giving her some peace and quiet for a while might be the best thing. Take care.
2007-02-15 18:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even though I happen to be an atheist, I agree with the idea of a small angel figurine. Find her one of a child angel sitting in a garden, or on a bench or something sweet like that, and then send her a small bunch of white calla lilies. A card is nice too, but try not to make it something like, "I'm sorry for your loss". Try something like, "Thinking of you" or along those lines.
2007-02-15 14:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the family will set up a way to make a contribution to the burial expenses or the grave marker? They are very expensive and often hard to afford or deal with. Maybe there is a way you can make a contribution to help them with the expenses. I think this would be better than a gift.
2007-02-15 14:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by mamacatto2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would send a small plant, that way it last for longer than a bunch of cut flowers. also a nice plaque with a prayer or something similar would be nice. even just being around her and there for her would be good
2007-02-15 16:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some kind of tree/plant she can plant as a memorial would be nice. i think the best kind of gift for someone who lost someone they love is a way to remember that person, so maybe you could make a donation in her name (or the name she had picked out for the baby) for a charity.
2007-02-15 13:59:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a nice "thinking about you" card to keep it generic--keep it simply by not sending a sympathy card. Send the card with a meal/dinner casserole or something you could easily keep in the fridge or freezer for a few days before baking.
2007-02-15 13:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by should be working 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋