I am in love with my cousin. I know it's wrong and gross but i can't help it. we are so perfect for each other. I haven't acted on my feelings but i need help. I don't know what to do.
2007-02-15 05:46:06 · 35 answers · asked by amy d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i'm 17 and we are first cousins.
2007-02-15 05:55:29 · update #1
Do you live in the midwest?
Are you a republican?
Do you like having retarded babies?
If you answered yes to any of these its perfectly fine!
2007-02-15 05:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by That Kid Zinc 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Hmmm...well let's see. There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving a family member, but you do have to stop and think about this one. Are you really in love with your cousin or do you have a deeper affection for them than with others. If you grew up close to each other, it is probably why you feel so perfect for each other. You grew up liking alot of the same things and have alot of the same ideas or things in common.
The other question would be, are you blood cousins or related through several marriages and/or circumstances? Stop and think about. You'll actually be surprised to find it's not as uncommon as you think. In many countries, you can find several families in one village or town are all interrelated. That's just how it is. But if your from the US, you'll find it's much more taboo. If you have no actual blood between you, it might not be as bad and things may get interesting.
I would actually suggest you don't act on the feelings. It may cause more trouble within the family than both of you would be able to handle, unless you are both grown adults and ready to make certain life altering decisions. Hope this helps. Let me know.
2007-02-15 06:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by The Syko Ward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't doubt that you have these feelings for your cousin, but you must not act on them. It is natural to feel attraction for people you are around a lot, before you meet Mr. Right you will be dating a lot of Mr. Almost Rights. Look at what you like about your cousin and try to find another suitable male with the same qualities. Does he have a friend (like minded people hang around together). Include your cousin in activities you do with other people so you won't be in intimate positions with him, but continue to enjoy your friendship with him. With time the physical attraction will turn into a normal familial love. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-15 06:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off this isn't that uncommon. People spend a lot of time with their cousins and share a lot of things with them and that often leads to feelings like this. What you have to realize is that it is ok to be friends, even best friends, but nothing more. The only way you two could have a life together was if you were willing to risk losing your family and if you were willing to never have a child together.
2007-02-15 05:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 links. You are going to be told old wives tales about webbed toes and two headed babies. You are going to be told it is disgusting and against God and society. These are all untruths.
"26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US."
"No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions."
"Children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk."
Bible notes on cousin marriage:
"Leviticus 18 lists all forbidden sexual relationships. Cousin relationships are not included."
"God commanded many cousins to marry, including Zelophehad's 5 daughters, Eleazar's daughters, Jacob (who married both Rachel and Leah, first cousins), and Isaac and Rebekkah (first cousins once removed)"
2007-02-15 06:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to remind yourself that though you have genuine feelings for him, you're related. I don't think a serious relationship would work here, nor would you really want it to. There are so many complications that can result if you try to have kids with your first cousin. You need to remind yourself that you're still family and try to move on. It sounds like you're very attached to the idea, but trust me, someday it'll get better. I hope everything works out all right for you.
2007-02-15 06:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by becki5ive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some states this is legal and not considered incest, so long as both parties are at the age of consent. if you're going to do it, check out the laws first, you'll be doing both of you a favor.
Also, if it feels "wrong and gross" maybe you should question your feelings a bit more and see if you can find someone more appropriate to have those feelings for.
2007-02-15 05:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont do it.
Forget it... find someone else. The truth is the relationship probably wont work anyway, like most relationships. Plus the strain of your family knowing about it and family get togethers will really be rough.
Is it a blood cousin? Or is it your step dads, sisters, son?
2007-02-15 05:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by Count F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, it's wrong. You don't want to go there. Stop thinking about him. When he pops in your mind, think of something else. Avoid situations where you have to be with him. Trust me, the feeling will pass. I know it seems like it won't or can't, but it will. It's illegal to marry your cousin. If you have kids, they will probably have severe abnormalities or physical handicaps. Plus, you will ruin your reputation, for a long time, if not forever, And, you will seriously harm family relations in so many areas, you won't believe.
2007-02-15 05:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Relax. You didnt ask to be cousins right? In alot of states , including MA where I llive, its legal to marry your first cousin. Alot of cultures encourage it. The biggest problem you face is the reaction from family members. They will probably think its weird. Your friends will probably give you a hard time too. You have to weigh whether or not its worth all the trouble.
2007-02-15 05:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by SFO 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok , go for what you want, yea its gross and nasty but you only live once . but mind you you will have a big let down from family . they will disown you most likely . i have heard this happen before several times but they don't stay togather at all as a matter of fact there in court with one another every other month . thats just a reminder as to what most likely might happen . but i would not get to deep with the relation ship .
2007-02-15 05:50:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋