How Do i let go?

Question

my bf William (EX NOW) died about 3 y.ears ago christmas eve. he was the love of my life. im still having flash backs to willam and i still miss him so much. i need 2 let go but how do i do that? its so hard

Answer 1

grieving is very hard - I lost my wife June 18 2006
I'm obviously not an expert, I'm having trouble myself.
But it takes time, you may not be ready yet. It takes whatever it takes, don't listen to people who tell you to get over it and all that
they don't understand.

I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm still trying to get through each day myself. That's all we can do - get through one day and then get through the next day.

Answer 2

I know it's tough, and I don't think you should EVER forget him. He meant a lot to you and it would take so much of your life with it if you just let him go. I know it's probably hard for you around the holidays too, because the holidays are supposed to be a happy time. They probably aren't because he died during them. But you should move on. He would want you to be happy, even if it was with someone else. He probably wouldn't want you to sit around sulking, being depressed, crying, etc. If you still have these feelings after 3 years you may need to get help from your doctor. He may put you on anti-depressants for a while. Once in a while it is ok though to just sit and cry while you look at a picture of him. But when you look at pictures try not to think of him being dead. Just focus on the happy times you had together. Remember what it was like to be with him and how happy he made you feel. If you think of it that way you may be able to take him with you whereever you go and be happy all the time. Know he's in a better place where there is no suffering or hurt. If it would help, talk to someone about him that was close to him the way you were. Try not to dwell on the saddness, just focus on the happiness and things should perk up for you after a while. Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

No matter how long it's been, grief support groups can help anyone who has lost someone dear to them. In-person groups are best. If none are available (small community, etc) then there are many available online. Yahoo, google groups, etc.

Be patient with yourself. I realized recently that almost all my unhappiness was from pressuring myself. Then I was able to take time with my feelings, and start moving forward. We cannot get rid of love, but it is meant to move and change and grow. Some day, you will not be fixated on him. What is needed is that you be active in recovering from this.

Also, writing about it, if you haven't done that very much / recently. These things need space, so getting them out is important.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your loss. You will never be able to let go of William completely. You loved him..and he will always be in your heart. but he is gone now..and you are still alive. You need to begin to live again. The best way I know of to do that is to volunteer somewhere..an animal shelter, Meals on wheels, a church group, a local nursing home...that is the beginning of healing..helping other people...I am sure that God has someone special in mind for you...someone you can give your love too....good luck...

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you lost William. Only time will heal that wound. It's not going to be easy at all, but eventually, it will be a little easier to get along in life. Grief counseling really works. Give it a shot, if you haven't. Good luck.

Answer 6

I don't think this ever happened. I think you are some nutty white girl who wants weird attention and changing your name from "mommie to be" to "his loving wife" does not change that.

Why would you be married to a guy who isn't the "love of your life" and having a baby with him?

Flash backs are something you get from acid or being involved in traumatic experience. Making up a former boyfriend who died is not a traumatic experience.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it can be very hard to let go. Take time for yourself, concentrate on things that make you happy--friends, food, hobbies, dancing, walking, etc.--do those things. Have a repeated phrase that you say to yourself when you think of William. For example, "He's gone." or "He's not here, and I must move on." Say the phrase to yourself each time you think of him.

Also, make sure you're getting involved with friends and doing things. As you move forward in your life, you'll begin to heal.

Answer 8

stop trying. pushing yourself to let go of someone that meant that much to you will only push your body to its limit and not in a good way. hold onto the fond memories but remind yourself of all the new ones to come. The best way i found to get yourself in the groove involves:
1:ridding your closet and drawers of all clothes you dont wear to a good orgainization
2:get a haircut youve always been afraid to try
3:do something crazy (not stupid just crazy) like dancing in the parking lot with freinds on a sugar high or rearrange all the furniture in every room of your place.
4:organize your cluttered spaces
5:read a book, like really, dont read and come back, stop and come back, really get into it...visuallize
6:spend time with those that make you happy

hope this helps

Answer 9

i know it may be tough. losing someone is the worst part of life. just give it time. date a lilttle bit. and just relize that william is in a better place and one day you will see him again. all i can tell u to do right now is pray. you will fall in love again. just have faith............let me know if i helped at all! good luck

Answer 10

You'll never let go, but time will help ease the pain. Good luck.